I'm 20 and its beginning to frustrate me more than ever!

[proudmummy]

I've always been shy.... lets give you a quick sum up of me...

I find it hard to hold conversations, I believe people think i'm ignorant/stuck up. Some people have gave up talking to me. I believe that people talk about how different I am.

I've resorted to having lunch on my own and going to great lengths to avoid huge crowds of people, then looking stupid on my own.

I've resorted to taking time off, cancelling things (no matter how short notice), quitting things, ignoring events all because of my shyness. I have stitched many friends/family/collaegues/teachers up and hence they're all slowly going off me.

I have great problems even phoning people really close to me let alone seeing them face to face.

When younger I done stupid things like over excessive drinking, drugs, sleeping/doing sexual things with people just to feel accepted without having to engage in too much convo or just masking my convo-making.

When i'm somewhere that I don't feel comfortable in I try to get back home as soon as possilble where I'm so scared.

I'm fine when i've been drnking alcohol. So I drink quite excessively if I have company or if I go out somwhere.

I've always had body issues so somedays I can take as much as an hour of simply getting normal daytime clothes on being scared of looiking too fat/too stupid/too slutty/too colourul/too plain/too dark. The same goes for my hair, skin, anything... somedays I will stay in and cry as I just can't get anything right.

I'm happy in my own little bubble, in my home, and even with so many great opportunities to see people I tend to avoid it and stay in on my own (although I'm not solely on my own as I have a baby son). I have such a huge family and just a huge majority of friends that still stay loyal to me even though i'm massively igorant because of my stupid shyness problems

I have a partner of 4 years who is socialable, outgoing and the total opposite to me yet somehow he wants to stay with me.

I'm depressed alot of the time and cry probably about 5 times a week on average.

I've had enough...sometimes I just want to end everything.

 

[Joldo]

I know how you feel, i have recently turned 20 and things are looking worse than ever. But there is a major difference between us and that is you have a partner and a son.

You have someone to be there for you, someone to turn to. Something to help the loneliness. Also you have you son which gives you some kind of purpous in life. To be responsible for a child and being a good mother is something to be very proud of. Surely you can take some happiness from these two facts. I would be content if I had atleast one person I can talk about these things with. Try and focus on what you do have; your committed partner, your beautiful son and the friends that have stayed loyal to you. Just remember it could be alot worse.

 

[Generical]

I'm kinda in a similar situation, which i think i'm starting to get out of, where i think everyone assumes im just a freak or just an asshole. I mean at work i'm more of a shadow than anything, people try to talk to me who i actually want to get to know and i mess it up and just win strange looks. The thing is i've found out that if you give just alittle bit of interest in getting back to talking standards with people, most people will really go along with it. I pretty much ignored people for so long that just trying to talk to them again i felt sort of like a hypocrite. But when i actually did try this people actually acted like nothing had ever happened (because that's kinda true....i mean we create these hidden rules that we did something wrong so we don't deserve to interact with people). yeah it was kinda mindless small talk but felt a hell of a lot better than just silence, so forget any reasons why people wouldn't want to talk to you (you do have a pretty good reason for any ways you acted before). I'm usually thinking in my head nah that's a stupid thing to say but then i actually try saying it and it's totally fine and then leads on to more conversation and im like....whoa. So don't think well it's kinda strange if i suddenly start talking after several months of awkward silence lol, people are only not going to talk to you because they think you want it that way, you just gotta show them that's not true. If you can do this and gain confidence in just one social situation it'll give you a huowge benefit in others, like getting to events and getting in touch with friends and family again etc.

 

[desperatehousewife]

Go to a pschiatrist, that makes you more comfortable.Being 20 age is a wonderful thing, these are your best days...Do not drink alchool, this is bad fof your age and alchol can not solve your shyness problem...Only a doctor can solve your problem.
Everything will be okey, you are too young and you must know that how worthy thing(Youth, health) you have!Do not make you sad.