I'll kil m_yself

[Alina]

I think I should kil m_yself, I feel so upset bout everything..Ive just met friends and Im starting to lose them ,cos few of them are too cute and Im afraid to tell them bout my problem, so I start tro avoid them for not to dissapoint ,others just think I use them cos Im too cute ..haha....thats silly and its not true, the yjust dont wanna meet me and stuff...I feel so bad(((((((((((((((((((999999 They all look for girlfriends, and I need a friend and if I dont show that Id like to date them they dont see the point of being with me((((((((((((((((9
anyway. Im just pointless and I have too many probs and I dont have talents or whatever ,I better do something with myself really Will choose a date and the way ,pills probably. I also have enough money so that my parents will ahve less probs with all this mess I will do
heh sounds emo or childish but I really feel so bad now and Im jsut too tired of being optimisting and fighting

 

[Alina]

what the heck with the word ' k i l l ' ????? why I have * * * on it's place??

 

[Scottish_Player]

Alina, just take a step back from your life and think about it, ok so what if you do go ahead with the pills and you may be un lucky that they dont kill you but instead could fuck you up for life with all sorts of medical problems. I have been in your situation a few times and today as i sit here writing this iam glad i never did anything like it. Things do change unexpectidly.

Just think about the reasons why you want to do it, and take them one by one and look at them and think if its a valid enough reason, also dont forget the mess you may leave behind, your parents living in regret that you never gave them the chance to help you.

What are your main reasons for wanting to do it?

Just think about it.

 

[Remus]

what the heck with the word ' k i l l ' ????? why I have * * * on it's place??

its the word filter on here, the webmaster dosnt allow suicide words or posts but I totally ignore that, he can edit and remove them himself as I think people have the right to reach out when they feel so desperate and in pain.

Not sure what to say to your post as I'm hopeless and think I sound patronising when dealing with such awful depression, I just hope you increase your circle of freinds and find ones of value like I have barely managed to do. If they just want to be your freind because they think you might "put out" then they arnt freinds atall, I'd look elsewhere, this place certainly for me has been a great place to make friends who care, if someone takes your eye as someone you would click with, reach out and say hello, most people I have chatted to here are more than freindly

(and theres a few in your area too)

hope this helps and I didnt sound patronising :?

 

[Alina]

Main reasons for this first of all are:
-HH, that I try to hide, but I cant hide it forever and when ppl actually find out bout it I start to avoid them cos I find it really embarassing
-SA. I get scared of new places and new ppl I meet, but I dont care bout this too much, the main thing that bothers is that I get scared of those who I really like. Im always too nerveous with them ,I can start thinking how I talk,how I breathe ,how I blink, how mouth moves ,how I eat etc haha damn panic attacks. Sometimes it doesnt happen, thank god..but still it happens and again its embarassing.
I cant even have any close relationship with guys cos I think Im too bad for them, and cos it all leads to avoidance anyway. And I fall in love quite quickly and quite deeply and I have to suffer everytime it happens lol
also sometimes I make plans bout future that help me to be in good mood then I realise that with those ppl I wanted to do this it wont be possible and its not actually their fault I really feel like there's no reason to live lol

 

[corrinaelizabeth]

plz dont!

ive felt exactly like you!!have you got any hobbies or anything?or a job???i have SP very bad where i cant even leave the house alone i dont work i dont do alot 2 b honest!but theres always hope youve got 2 keep fighting plz dont give up!!!

 

[Alina]

I wanna change something but sometimes I feel like nothing can be done..Id like to meet ppl who're in the same situation like me ,but those who are are also so depressed they dont wanna meet
Ive got hobbies yeah=))I like music a lot, before I was trying to play guitar and drums but then decied Im shit at it and stopped, well I still play sometimes, but you know its just few chords. I also write stupid poems and songs=)) when Im really depressed it helps in some way.
Im studying in one college - Audio-media, last year it was a nightmare now its better ,but I skip lots of lessons, if it wasnt this college I would deff be kicked of, but here as I do everything in time Ill finish it earlier hehe And Im doing bookkeeping - home learning direct..Im workin on Sat and Sunday ,helping in the kitchen...But it all doesnt make me feel better, I really would like to have some ppl near me who know bout all my probs..otherwise I feel pointless, I wanna help ppl with the same probs like me as well cos I know its great if there's someone who can understand..and if Im just living like this I find it meaningless. I love those who are with me now but I odnt think it will last long cos they dont know everything bout me and Ill be too ashamed to tell, and specially if they notice themselves Ill be really embarassed and will start to avoid.


*sorry had to remove the end bit ...Remus*

 

[gg]

:arrow: Please dont give up! If u want to meet people with sa, why dont you try & find a support group or something? It mite help. You should also try & speak to your parents about this. I know how hard it is for you and just hope you try and get the help & support you need.

 

[Alina]

I meet ppl from forums=))) They are great, but really they dont seem like they've got probs at all and I like them so much that Im afraid will start avoiding them And they dont know bout HH thing.. Would like to meet guys from this forum though
Cant talk to my parents bout this cos it started cos of them first of all and they're just laughing saying I make it up
anyway Ill give up only if there is no opportunities left, will try to make friends here first=)

 

[crazyfairyx]

It's really good that you're gonna try making friends here first before doing anything drastic. Some of the people I've met on here have really helped me, and I feel so much better than I did when I first started using this forum.

If you fancy a chat or anything feel free to message me. We've got this thread here http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/postt1267.html with people's msn and yahoo addresses on it, maybe you could contact some people on there?

 

[gg]

I meet ppl from forums=))) They are great, but really they dont seem like they've got probs at all and I like them so much that Im afraid will start avoiding them And they dont know bout HH thing.. Would like to meet guys from this forum though

This mite sound like a stupid question but when you say meet people from forums do you mean in person? you meet them in person? :?

 

[Alina]

I meet ppl from forums=))) They are great, but really they dont seem like they've got probs at all and I like them so much that Im afraid will start avoiding them And they dont know bout HH thing.. Would like to meet guys from this forum though

This mite sound like a stupid question but when you say meet people from forums do you mean in person? you meet them in person? :?

yeah but I met only 3, and the thing is that Im afraid I will start avoiding them cos of my probs, but I really like them a lot
Today I got some meds - Propranolol ,I should take it only when Im going somewhere. Ive got a bit high blood pressure as well so its good for this too
and tomorrow Ill get some diodorant for palms ,this one cant be bought without prescription so I hope it will help

thanx to all of you guys for warm replies=))

 

[GracieB]

You're lucky to have HH as your main source of pain. It's not a big deal. You're making it one. Think about that.

 

[corrinaelizabeth]

oi!

*edit by remus(referr complaints to mods please)*

 

[Rach-El]

Stay optimistic!

Think about how much worse your life could be. You could have cancer, have missing limbs, be retarded, or so sick that your just a vegetable. Those conditions are just a few things that could make your life bad enough to even think about killing yourself. You have so much more waiting for you in life, if you throw it all away because of hh, your place in the world will be gone forever. If someone loves you so deeply and for who you are, why should you have to hide a silly thing like hyperhidrosis? When you're feeling depressed, just listen to happy music and/or write. I've found that writing has been like a vent for my feelings. When i put things down on paper, i burn it. But if you feel that you must put an end to your life, find a better reason than hyperhidrosis because life is so much better than that. Live life with what you've got, and hopefully hyperhidrosis is the worst that will ever happen to you.

 

[forgetit]

If you really wanted to do it, you would not make a post telling about your intentions.

Forget others . . . why so much concern with them? F--k them all. Learn to love yourself and understand yourself.

Nothing can stay the same much longer . . . things always change.

Stay well Alina :wink:

 

[Remus]

If you really wanted to do it, you would not make a post telling about your intentions.

well I wouldn't agree with that, we had a member of SAUK commit suiciide recently and it was so very sad

 

[Scottish_Player]

If you really wanted to do it, you would not make a post telling about your intentions

Its called a cry for help, its what people do when they want to die but just want someone to listen to them and give them a reason not too, i take it you have been fortunate enough to have never been in the situation yourslef otherwise you wouldnt have posted that.

 

[forgetit]

I’m not so fortunate like that . . . suicide already crossed my mind more than once and I used to talk with close people about my willing to die (like Alina did).

Exactly because of that, I’m saying that if you really want to put an end to your life, you simply do it (without the need to tell anyone about it).

In my opinion, no one really wants to do it . . . and if one ends up doing it, it’s just a desperate attempt to make pain go away.

This is only my opinion based on my own experience . . . no need to argue with it.

 

[Scottish_Player]

Hey mate, iam not going to argue or want to fall out over it but you kinda made it sound like she should get on with it and do it and stop whinging, and like you said yourself, you used to talk with people about your willingness to do and those people may have played a part in the reason for you not doing it, all the lass wanted was someone to show a bit of intrest and care.

Hope i dont sound like iam getting at ya here cause thats not what iam intending. On a friendly note here, why did you talk with people about your willingness to want to do it, and not just go ahead and do it?