If i look back..

[Skatergirl]

If i look back in the past..
I was different.
I didnt think of my actions very much.
I have a video of myself when i was 14, and i was acting even arrogant
I was singing on the stage and someone asked me if i was nervous, and i said.. Noway. Singing is just cool, why should i be afraid? :: Omg , and NOW.. I'm so different. I remember i was singing on the stage in november in 2008 , and i was shaking so much..
I'm like the opposite of the past... Did social phobia change me so much?
and i remember me dancing in the disco, i was dancing really wild!
Now i don't even dare to go to a disco..
Now i'm totally different, okay i'm still someone who likes to dance and stuff :: but i think of my actions, and i think they are not good enough ::
But in the past i had confidence, and i just did it.. i was sensetive.. i always been.. but i was so different. since i have social phobia i think way too much!

When you guys look back at the past, do you feel , like.. it wasnt a thing you wouldnt do now?

 

[lithium]

I understand what you're saying. In the past I used to be a lot more outgoing, I would scream at random times, and I wouldn't mind being the center of attention at times; I kind of enjoyed it. Back then I didn't analyze the outcome or potential negativity of every little action I take. But now I over think things and don't have as much fun as I used to. It's horribly depressing and I wish I could be more outgoing once more. With due time maybe.

 

[PunkRotten]

Very much so, I am an opposite of my former self. What this tells me is I am in trouble. Too much isolation, I need to break out and have some freedom again.

 

[rado31]

i changed but i didnt change much. Which means - i was always very physically sensitive (but i thought , that with the times i would get tougher.. no luck , i guess) , i was self-conciouss but less than now. I used to have even public concert on classic guitar when i was 8 or 9, which i initiated and wanted- i wanted to be a part of crowd,not popular, just accepted even if i m autistic, different. Now , even when i m alone i m SC damn it.

... And i was non stop smiling... thats why it is depressive to me to look my older pictures.... something went wrong in my life and i dont believe it is my fault

 

[wo.]

Hmm not me. My earliest memories of myself are from preschool and day care (~4 years old), and I remember being socially withdrawn, keeping to my self, feeling a bit sad... It's depressing thinking how well these earliest moments foreshadowed the rest of my childhood. I'm not sure if I technically had social anxiety at this age; perhaps it was just shyness? But certainly by age 6-7 I have memories that are unambiguously of social anxiety.

Now I'm a bit more outgoing, and I feel pretty comfortable talking my mind in smaller social situations. I don't overthink everything and I try to just go for it, to say something if it pops in my mind, etc. I still hold back in larger groups though; this is something I need to work on.

 

[LostinmyThoughts]

im the opposite of who i was just 3 years ago!

 

[recluse]

No i've always been the same.

 

[Lorraine Manca]

Been like this sense birth!

 

[recluse]

By the way skater girl you appear anything but social phobic in your youtube videos. I'm confused How come so many social phobic people have videos on youtube and appear confident? One part of my social phobia is hating my voice on recordings and seeing myself in videos.

 

[mndigi]

Well, I was confident and outgoing when I was really, really small...5 years old! You don't do much at that age but I remember winning school races and being popular amongst kids. After that, any thing like it was hard to imagine for myself though.

 

[northernlight]

Yep I can relate to this, when I was much younger towards the end of primary school I was in a few plays dancing and singing in front of large crowds, these days the thought of standing in front of a group of people with their focus on me doing absolutely nothing is scary enough. Back then I must have just blocked out the voice that says 'they're all watching you'.