terresap
Active member
The meeting was today and I went, my wonderful husband came with me for support.
I felt so uneasy in the car on the way there, my stomach hurt because I was so tense.
As soon as I walked in the door a guy gave us name tags and I couldnt even speak to tell him my name, my husband told him then we were lead into a room with a large table with people sitting around it, immediately i felt confronted because I knew that we would be sitting around a table staring at each other and talking - why didnt I think this would be how it was set up? I was thinking that it would be chairs facing the front and some guy talking at the front. Anyway I freaked out but sat down near a corner, I could feel people looking at me and freaked out even more, I was making myself worse but couldnt snap out of it. I felt sick in my stomach. A nice man sat down and started talking and I wasnt even listening to what he was saying, I was focusing all my energy on trying not to cry or run away. Then he said to me that its completely normal what im doing and its ok to get it all out, that was it, I couldnt hold back the tears, i was a mess, some guy quietly asked if I wanted to go outside and I bolted to the door which wasnt the door I came in.... I was getting disorentated, I was completely freaking out like a rabbit caught in someone's headlights. My husband tried to calm me down, then some lady came out and tried to have a conversation with me, I couldnt even look at her. After 10 minutes my husband calmed me down and we walked back in, but had to walk out a few more times. I dont know what happened to me, I just couldnt control myself, it was terrible and there wasnt anything I could do about it.
There were about 14 people in the room around this fucking table and I realised that some were shy and not talking and some wouldnt shut up, this is when I worked out that this self help group was for OCD people too, im sure they didnt understand what was going on with me freaking out and that made me even worse.
I dont think I remember anything about what was said in the meeting, my husband was wonderful and while trying to help me he got most of what was going on and later on at home he told me what was said to try and help me understand what the meeting was actually about.
Anyway after an hour and a half of the meeting it was time to leave and I told my husband to get to our car and I will follow him, some guy intersected us on the way out and asked if we wanted to talk to him, we followed him into a room and he was so nice and told us that he is the same as me and its ok, we talked for a bit (well he did and I tried), I told him that im not sure if i would come back, he gave me some numbers to ring for counselling one on one.
I guess im not ready for a group self help class. It was a disaster.
This is starting to sound like im writting my own personal blog so I will leave it at that.
Thanks for reading this post
I felt so uneasy in the car on the way there, my stomach hurt because I was so tense.
As soon as I walked in the door a guy gave us name tags and I couldnt even speak to tell him my name, my husband told him then we were lead into a room with a large table with people sitting around it, immediately i felt confronted because I knew that we would be sitting around a table staring at each other and talking - why didnt I think this would be how it was set up? I was thinking that it would be chairs facing the front and some guy talking at the front. Anyway I freaked out but sat down near a corner, I could feel people looking at me and freaked out even more, I was making myself worse but couldnt snap out of it. I felt sick in my stomach. A nice man sat down and started talking and I wasnt even listening to what he was saying, I was focusing all my energy on trying not to cry or run away. Then he said to me that its completely normal what im doing and its ok to get it all out, that was it, I couldnt hold back the tears, i was a mess, some guy quietly asked if I wanted to go outside and I bolted to the door which wasnt the door I came in.... I was getting disorentated, I was completely freaking out like a rabbit caught in someone's headlights. My husband tried to calm me down, then some lady came out and tried to have a conversation with me, I couldnt even look at her. After 10 minutes my husband calmed me down and we walked back in, but had to walk out a few more times. I dont know what happened to me, I just couldnt control myself, it was terrible and there wasnt anything I could do about it.
There were about 14 people in the room around this fucking table and I realised that some were shy and not talking and some wouldnt shut up, this is when I worked out that this self help group was for OCD people too, im sure they didnt understand what was going on with me freaking out and that made me even worse.
I dont think I remember anything about what was said in the meeting, my husband was wonderful and while trying to help me he got most of what was going on and later on at home he told me what was said to try and help me understand what the meeting was actually about.
Anyway after an hour and a half of the meeting it was time to leave and I told my husband to get to our car and I will follow him, some guy intersected us on the way out and asked if we wanted to talk to him, we followed him into a room and he was so nice and told us that he is the same as me and its ok, we talked for a bit (well he did and I tried), I told him that im not sure if i would come back, he gave me some numbers to ring for counselling one on one.
I guess im not ready for a group self help class. It was a disaster.
This is starting to sound like im writting my own personal blog so I will leave it at that.
Thanks for reading this post
