I want to like people

[Dilbert XXX]

Hello.

I have a problem which involves me not enjoying being around people. I am less and less believing in the meaning of the word "friend".

Honestly, I am boring, judgmental, and self-centered. I don't really ever care what's happening around me at all. I am very insecure about myself and usually resort to saying bad things about people, and as a result, I converse minimally.

I don't want to be this way forever. People seem to believe in me and always call me handsome and smart, but I just don't believe it.

My voice is also extremely emotionless and people call me a robot. It's actually starting to get very annoying because I feel like I have no personality.

I've been making some efforts to change, but I don't know what to do. Any advice will be very helpful, and I need it please!

Thank you for viewing.

 

[lettypagb]

dont wish that ,

 

[klytus]

You sound like an interesting person to be with. -- There is no sense in liking people you don't naturally like, for one and if you intentionally make people around you seem less worthy of being liked, to make yourself feel better, at least temporarily, I suggest you stop*) your incessant judging of others and get to know them first. For if you don't actually know the person you judge, your judgement has no foundation, rendering the apparent difference you create by debasing others meaningless in itself. Knowledge entails true superiority, not ignorance.

*) Stopping it seems easier said than done, but in reality it isn't. It's your choice to judge, therefore it, too, is yours not to. Just persevere the situations in question, waiting, observing, understanding, and eventually you might notice that the person is much more likeable than the superficial shell you initially met.

Your voice is quite irrelevant; While a pleasant voice is a huge plus, a neutral, unremarkable one is not a significant loss in quality. What you say is much more important - focus on that. The thought of your voice being cold and unaffected would never cross the listeners' mind, were the words conveyed affectionate, loving and equitable.

 

[thor01]

I hate my own voice when I'm conscious of it.

 

[klytus]

Yeah, it's all too familiar; Hearing my voice after it's been recorded, for example, is very off-putting - I, however, need to speak, and try to not let my disgust control me.

 

[NormanBates]

Sounds familiar.
I've been trying to like people too, but the only thing I can come up with is either work really hard at it and appreciate the results .. or learn to love being lonesome and be happy with those results too.
The universe has not intervened in my favor much lately.

 

[Reiji Moritsugu]

The funny thing is, I can like people to a certain degree...

But others don´t seem to like me at all, no matter whether I try to be liked or not...
so not liking people would be even easier by my standards, because then it would
be much easier to just not care.

Some people get the looks, social skills and intelligence. What do we get?

*crickets chirping*

If life had to be summarized in two words, those would be EPIC FAIL...
shit, guess cloudy days make me feel even more negative than usual.

See you around, I hope.

 

[NormanBates]

Just become friends with somebody who is needy. A friend in need is a friend indeed. And then you won't have to worry about whether or not you enjoy that person, because then it'll be about how much that person needs you!

 

[DaaaBulls]

You sound a lot like me. I'm one of the vainest people you will ever meet and I am never happy with the way I look. It's always one thing and once I accept it then another thing bugs me and I go in a cycle through the same things about my appearance. I am very self centered, could really care less about other people and that is probably why I can't get a girlfriend or any new friends. I am the most judgemental person, I don't want others to judge me but I judge everyone and everything. Sometimes I also have nothing to talk about so I tend to make remarks about other people, which I do not want to do anymore.

I'm told that I am good looking and smart as well but it doesn't matter. I sometimes talk with this monotone voice or a kind of mature voice that I produce which probably looks funny coming from a baby faced 22 year old. I take no pleasure in being with other people at all. In fact I really cannot stand them because I can't ever seem to have a conversation without being anxious. I am always judging that people don't like me so I find reasons not to like them.

Another thing is that I cannot smile at all at times. I probably look like a mad kid and that is why people tend to avoid me, but screw em. Once people get to know me they figure out I am a good person, besides all of those other problems I have within myself. I am still a friendly and respectful person. I just do not know how to break out of the mold either. I want to be able to smile at a girl when she smiles at me or to talk in my normal voice, which seems to change about 50 times a day. Sometimes I do not even know what voice will come out and sometimes after I speak I do not know how in the world I was able to say so many words in a row. It just seems like everyone around me has their shit together and can be normal socially but for some reason I can't.

I need help as well.