I want more friends

[xlincslassx]

hi im new to this but recently realised how lonely i am. I find it really hard to make new friends and even have conversations with new people i feel so odd and that no one else understands. I do make friends but they dont often stick by me for long i gradually push them away but dont know how. I have a boyf that has stuck by me for 2 years but he doesnt seem to understand he just thinks im shy but other than him i dont really have any close friends. It would just make me feel better if other people feel the same? :?

 

[sleepysparrow]

Hey I know how you feel. I don't have any close friends anymore, I pushed them all away because of my anxiety and the fact that I thought they wouldn't understand me, and now I find it so hard to make any new friends. All my old friends are just really outgoing and I had to rely on alcohol to hang out with them to calm me down, eventually they just stopped calling because I found it hard to talk to them on the phone. Luckily, I don't drink like that anymore. It would be so nice just to hang out and relate to someone just like me, but it's just so hard to meet people, especially with social anxiety because we all hide away. I understand you! I am here to help and listen because I can completely relate. I wish I could give advice but reading what you wrote is what I feel everyday.

 

[Kat]

Yeah that all sounds very familiar. My fiancée and I have a website and it is very small because basically our only friends is each other so it is very hard to get people to go. We recently discovered a person we met and we use to talk to over the internet has social phobia as well. I sort of suspected it myself because I could see that some of his ways were like someone with SP but him and a few others come to our site and that is about it. If you guys wish to come along as well it is at www.boomerooski.com

 

[villacjs]

Pretty much everyone on this site has a similar problem, eg no/hardly any friends. If you can join a club/group/sporting activity etc and you'll make friends that way.

 

[Rabindranath]

Yes and no.

I find it easy to make new friends, especially at work.

But I have fewer and fewer old friends because I'm too neurotic to put in what's considered the normal effort for the friendship. In other words, once people get to know me they want to start hanging out, inviting me over, etc. I typically refuse and stay home and hide. After awhile they realize how "weird" I am and don't come around any more.

I'm 38 years old now and I cringe when I think about people I used to know 20 years ago and what they must think of me after I screwed up the friendship.