I react differently to certain personality types!

[Richey]

This may actually come across as quite prejudice but its not meant to be in a bad way, its just an observation and how i see things, im open for people to tell me i'm wrong here, its just my reaction to it ...

One thing i have noticed is that ive grown up around arrogant, domineering alpha male influences and ive always had this placid layed back, relaxed personality even though inside i'm quite nervous ..

my father, uncle, and former best friend are similar in that they are all very arrogant, controlling, and extemely opinionated, LOUD people ..they mean no harm and have a good heart, but personality types like that scare the crap out of me ...for one they are so intense and needy of approval as well ..especially my uncle whom i work with ...

He is always so needy, justifying every single action he takes at work ...and he's so intense and outwardly panics and if there is silence will fill them in with questions he's already asked me or talks about the weather!!! always trying to act cool or trying to be someone that fits that image rather then being himself

silent pauses dont bother me either and never have as ive always had the mindset of if you have something to say then no problems, but if you don't and its silent then your not forcing yourself to take an action thats unwarranted ..there is nothing wrong with talking all the time, but i find these sorts of personalities repeat the same topics over and over just because they can't bare silence ..

many people referr to it as "awkward silence" ...why does it have to be awkward? it doesn;t have to be, if you have nothing on your mind you dont have to fill it in to make it look like your a talkative person ..

ive noticed this with my manager, he'll walk over and repeat back to me my duties in detail in "the boss" condescending voice while i'm doing them, even though ive been there long enough to know exactly what my duties are, what am i supposed to say to that? "uh yeh thanks, i know", but he does it because god forbid he's not talking about something for one minute and it just makes things more uncomfortable to me, because i'd he be silent and not say that to me and come across as the "Big Boss Type" ...in front of me ..

I'd rather people just be silent and be themselves and talk when they are ready, it doesnt bother me ...i'd prefer a more relaxed approach ..

thats what i find with "certain" extroverted people ive known over the years ...they just seem so needy where as i'm more placid and talk when something is on my mind ...rather then just talking about nonsense to fill in gaps because god forbid you can go one second without justifying that you arnt a "shy" person ..because that would be flawed or some crime ..

i also know a few extroverted, talk all the time people who arn't arrogant are relaxed like me and dont look for approval all the time ...they dont care that im more quiet then they are and they arnt trying to be someone else ...i find making friends with them very easy.

so basically i seem to warm more to people who are relaxed shy or chatty who couldn't give a rats if i decided to also follow an independent path around them, still driven, but not arrogant people who are so needy
and in my face all the time ..

there is a big difference between just needy looking for approval, and arrogant people who are needy, i just feel so nervous around them because they are high maintenance ..

i warm to anxious people too, but not arrogant ones ...

its the arrogant over-opinionated, domineering, controlling types that i generally run away from

 

[RedRibbons]

Hmm, I like your opinion on silence.

I tend to be the person who worries about silence. I am becoming more accepting of it though. I really don't like that I fill the gaps with nonsense, most of the time, so I'm starting to just be silent, whenever I have nothing to say really..

I guess it's more common than we think. Even people without social anxiety experience it.

 

[Richey]

Ive never been phased by silences in conversation ..yet i can sit there and watch my manager turn red and scratch his head trying to think of words to fill the gaps ..there is nothign wrong it, i just find it more uncomfortable then the actual silence itself because i can tell he isnt being relaxed and that makes me all tense ..

i think its more a go with the flow effect, just take it as it comes, dont force the words and talk about the weather that i feel more comfortable with ...i can tell he is always worrying all the time about his image ..perhaps i'm a little selfish in thinking this ..

maybe he sits there thinking the same thing about me "why isnt he saying anything, this isnt good" ...why?

i think people are ashamed of shyness as if its a crime but i feel its as natural as being chatty ..and the go with the flow effect means you'll have the best of both worlds ...

thats where the more relaxed go with the flow approach works for me more then people who are in your face and so needy that they have to talk all the time and expect me to be the same that really makes me feel uncomfortable ...

because i know he's told a few people that "i'm boring" ..etc just becaus he keeps company of friends that are usually very outgoing, so anything thats different isnt worth knowing ...

not that there is anything wrong with it, but i generally feel uncomfortable around people like that ...