I need help with an old friend that's trying to get back in my life

[Rodney]

Copy and pasted from yahoo answers, which I deem an unusable service now. This situation would be awkward for someone without social phobia but with social phobia it is VERY stressful. Any advice, relating, or stories are welcomed.

So basically I'm in my early 20s and a huge homebody (no hate please). Anyways this old friend that I hadn't had any contact with for a year or two calls me up and ask to borrow something. I comply and a couple weeks later he comes back to my house with the item. He then starts telling me about his life and friends (I have no irl friends so it was a one sided conversation)

Long story short, all his friends are druggies and criminals (I have no problem with people who smoke weed but there are two types of stoners: those who enjoy relaxing with some bud and those who smoke weed and take part in a lot of shady business). Anyways, this guy sells weed and cocaine. I think he wishes he didn't take the path he did and is looking for friends that are more reliable, not using him, and aren't criminals. However, I don't want to be involved with his B.S. and would rather be alone (foreveralone.jpg) than have anything to do with this guy.

The guy is friendly and good hearted but you know... I also would go ape **** if we were hanging out and he invited some of his friends over or we went to his friends house. His friends are all dbags who would just take the piss out on me and I'd rather not have to deal with that sooooooo...

Thanks for listening to my rant and now for the question.

How am I suppose to tell this guy I don't want to hang out with him? He's already planning things for us to do like sporting events, etc.

Also he lives less than 10 min away from me and I'm related to him so f***....

 

[Rodney]

Thanks for the replies. Much appreciated.

@twiggle I like your advice and I may take it. I've known this guy since I was like 5 so we've had quite the past. He used to give me a lot of psychological abuse. If he didn't deal or do drugs I'm not sure he would have any friends so indeed it is a hard situation to get out of. I think I could definetly benefit him if I had good friends to introduce him to but I don't have any. I would say that out of his group of SKETCHY people he is the nicest and the least sketchy so I guess that's a positive.

@TheAristocrat I think you're on the money with him being a poser. When he was younger he could have taken the path of being friends with me (who had similar interest)or this other guy and he chose the other guy (probably because he was cool and the most popular kid in school) who has treated him like dirt through all these years.


More replies are welcomed.

 

[Rodney]

Hung with the kid. He's retarded. I'm never hanging with him again.

 

[Feathers]

Hey Rodney,

Yeah you're BRAVE for even hanging with him and it's great you were willing to give him a chance!!

Well, I know what you mean with being related and all..

I was thinking that if you would be willing to hang with him or give him any sort of support at all, you'd probably need a 'support group' yourself, ya know? So that he wouldn't 'drag you down' etc.

So is he a druggie also or just a dealer? If he's addicted he needs proper support if he wants to kick the habit and get his life on track.. Maybe you could agree to go with him to a rehab center/support center or something.. (if he would press for company next time..)

If he's addicted to anything his #1 friend will be the addiction and he's probably not really capable of real human friendships/relationships.. Also if he was acting like a jerk it may be the drug habit or just plain old bad habits.. My first thought was also 'was he trying to extend customer base'? (Hope not lol) Maybe part of him still wants to get better, he'll have to work on it himself if he really does want out..
There are communes and stuff, places where he could get help..

Sorry to hear about being bullied in the past, and this guy was bullied too, sounds like a bad environment.. Hope you manage to find nicer friends and people to maybe hang out with locally... (or maybe not-so-locally would be easier?) Maybe there are even some local support groups for relatives of people in the drug scene etc that could help? Or some other groups you could join where you might find more hmm okay-ish people?

 

[Rodney]

Well the forum member who suggested that you should meet with him is a complete idiot, you should never have listened to her.....
.....
......:: Sorry.

But, at least you know now right? And you did the noble thing and gave him a chance.

No, I'm glad you suggested to go because it gave me a kick in the butt and made me realize that I don't want to be a like that. And it is nice to know I gave him a chance.

Hey Rodney

All he does is smoke weed, drink, and deal (he sometimes does other things but not that much). I don't care what he does but I don't want to be involved with it. It's not worth my time to try and get the kid to stop what he's doing so support isn't really needed. It seems like the majority of peers from my town and area are messed up so in all honesty I don't want local friends. Thanks for your informative post. It was a nice read.