I need help please...

[cock21]

hello. i have a very big problem that i developed when i was a kid (i had an abusive parents) and it his killing me slowly day by day...

when people talk to me i seem to "monitor" their reactions all the time!
by doing so i can't understand what their saying!! including my teachers & friends!!

i keep trying to turn off that "monitoring mode" and just listen to them. but i just can't control it and it drives me crazy!!! this problem also makes my friends very uncomfortable and it seems like im driving them away one by one.



can anyone here tell me how to get rid of this awful habit? ::

i don't mind taking pills.... just tell me what pill i should take to make it stop...

 

[IamThisOne]

What do you mean by "monitoring mode"?

 

[Feathers]

It's probably not gonna be pills.. Maybe more like reading helpful books or getting counselling/therapy..

I monitor people's reactions a lot too, it's still possible to understand them though.. So maybe you can work on developing the ability to do both (maybe watching subtitled movies or series can help?) and this could be really valuable in your later life..

 

[cock21]

i'm not good with reading books... i read only 1 book my entire life ( harry potter ) and i never finished it lol

i also have Severe ADD since i was a kid... but i will try your advice... thanks.

 

[Feathers]

Hm, maybe this could have something to do with ADD too? Like kinda 'zoning out' and hyperfocusing on just one aspect of it all?

Are you taking any anti-ADD meds or doing the nutrition/exercise to combat ADD? Are you seeing a counsellor for ADD?

I might have inattentive ADD too (not sure and not properly diagnosed, just think I might have it). I like reading books and watching films/series such as Japanese dramas (with English subtitles).

Maybe it would also be helpful to do affirmations such as 'I am safe' or ask yourself 'How could I feel more safe?' maybe even have a police phone number in your phone or such, to call if needed - maybe it could help you feel safer? And to make sure to stand/sit with your back against a wall, to feel safe, and to see people/door when they come in = 'feng shui' tips..

There is some stuff that can be done in play therapy or drama therapy on 'reparenting' yourself, to work through childhood problems.. Maybe even just wrapping yourself in a pullover can help you feel safer?