I need help creating something "more" with this person..

mismeek

mismeek

Well-known member
I found this quote from you other thread:

" She said she was too afraid to tell me sooner because she didn't want to hurt me,which is like me .. "

This means while you wear wearing your rose tinted glasses and planning weddings...she was slowly starting to cool toward you. She had been planning to tell you for AWHILE. You just didn't realize it. So this wasn't abrupt.

also she probably invited you to the mall because she still wants to be friends with you..but NOT ANYTHING MORE.

Let it go man.. let it go
 
bcsr

bcsr

Well-known member
you probably dont want to hear this, but if she told you no, then you need to drop it. furthermore, if you can't accept that this is a friendship only, then you don't need to continue any sort of relationship or contact with her. if you can't move past that, then you are just going to torture yourself.
 
Odo

Odo

Banned
SamTheSammich said:
I don't want to MAKE her like me as of said with not wanting to pressurize her,but yes you have a great point. Its not that I don't accept these boundaries either,infact socially between us there's not much of boundaries with the compliments we share. So thats why I see boundaries in terms of friendship-relationship between us,but not so much socializing with the way we talk as if nothing was talked over you know? I obviously do take into account what we talked over with being friends instead,I'm not ignoring that at all because I respect what she wants,but I'm highly confused with the fact we are still going back and forth with the compliments. It could be out of fear I'm not sure..
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Some people have a different set of boundaries and it can be frustrating and confusing when someone says no but then everything they do seems to say yes.

On the other hand, I'm not sure that compliments are always a romantic thing... it could be that you're reading romantic signals into it because of how you feel about her, or because you want to protect yourself from the pain of rejection.

The compliments and such could even be that she feels guilty about rejecting you/not having romantic feelings for you so she's trying to build up your ego again... not because she wants to date you, but because she feels sorry for hurting a friend.

She might believe she's doing the right thing, even though she's probably just making it worse.

What I would do is whenever she compliments you, don't say anything back and don't play those games with her. Try to see her for who she really is as opposed to the idealized version of her... notice her flaws, respect that she's just a person like you, and start distancing yourself from her emotionally, if not physically.
 
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