I need a little help and I have some questions

[LockieKermit]

Firstly, I dont like to come here for reassurance every 5 seconds as I know that does not help with OCD and anxiety but I need to ask some questions so I can equip myself with the necessary guns to fight off anxiety and intrusive thoughts.


1. I keep doubting if I have OCD, like ill get instrusive thoughts and I wont get anxiety, so ill doubt if I have OCD and think i do want to do these.

2. Do you guys get intrusive thoughts and sometimes dont have anxiety? because sometimes I think of it, but dont get anxiety, then I get anxiety because I dont get anxiety

3. Sometimes I dont actually get anxiety from an instrusive thought, I just feel uncomfortable...


The thoughts seem so real, and yet sometimes I think, holy crap, this is stupid, yet at times its like, ok, I definitley dont have OCD..I must be psycho...






Are the above normal?


Also, does anyone feel like there winning and losing at the same time? Last night I had a horrible though, but I forced myself not to get anxiety, and ignore it...I felt really uncomfortable but after 10-15 mins I looked back at the thought and i realised how dumb it was, yet at the time it felt so real...



What are your thoughts on this?

Anyways sorry for the long post, you guys are wonderful help


Lockie

 

[Rockhopper]

That's similar to what happened to me in the process of getting over my intrusive thoughts. I'd start having the thoughts and not get anxious. Then I was wondering why I wasn't getting anxious. I said to myself I'll keep thinking about it and it should happen if I think about it enough. But it didn't. I made the myself replay the thoughts and nothing happened. So I put it down to the fact that I was getting over it. So see it as conquering your OCD.

I have also had the anxiety about not having anxiety (but before the situation above). It happened when I didn't have any thoughts. I was worried about when the next thought would come because I didn't have one. Definitely see the not having anxiety thing a positive step forward.

 

[LockieKermit]

kk thanks, sometimes a bizare thought comes in like, My problems dont seem as bad as the ones I read here, so I must not have it and im crazy...Basically, I have this massive doubt...it sucks so much...


I also find im naturaly quite nice...I feel sorry for people in the heat of the moment, and when im I show compassion when im in the situation, but when im alone, or I have time to think, It's when the intrusive thoughts or the doubt and anxiety comes....also I think I have a little bit of depression mixed in with it.


Again, I look back and its obvious ive had some form of OCD through out my whole life (which gives me comfort).


Thanks

 

[Rockhopper]

I'm a bit the same. I feel like some of the things here seem much worse that what my thoughts are. It makes me think how irrelevant mine are and I feel I should just stop it. Easier said than done though. I never considered myself depressed, until the thoughts got really bad. I really think the OCD was making me depressed. I read in a book that that's quite normal. I think it said depression usually follows the OCD not the other way around.

Intrusive thoughts, whether worse than someone else's or not, are not easy to deal with and can still consume you. Do you feel better thinking that yours aren't as bad? I've tried thinking that and sometimes it works, but when caught up in the moment of thoughts it's hard. It's only when I look back I realise my thoughts are so illogical.

 

[LockieKermit]

well, I do feel a little better knowing that mine isn't as worse and curable, but the worsed part of this is not the curing part, or the actuall anxiety, its the doubt, what if I dont have it doubt, what if im crazy or pycho, because I tell you I get some bizare images and thoughts...Another frustrating thing is I think of myself years ago and I was so compasionate, sure I was like any other kid, we had our games, and we could be cruel, but I think I was above average in compassion and I really want that old me back, back when I knew I was good, and bad/evil was just bad/evil.

 

[Rockhopper]

Have you been properly diagnosed for OCD? If you have intrusive thoughts and lots of doubt then it looks like it is. That's why it's called the doubting disease. Remember real crazy people don't know they're crazy. If you want to be compassionate then you are not evil. They are just thoughts. Thoughts don't mean you do those things. I have had that craving for the old me and recently I think I'm getting it back. Keep thinking about what the old you would do in this situation. That's what I kept doing. Hopefully will work for you too.

 

[LockieKermit]

Well I have been to a psychologist, and she thinks I have anxiety but not the "disorder" but yeah, I think I do prety much have OCD - Pure O.

When I 6 or so up to middle school I had your normal OCD tendencies, reassurance, turning lights on and off, touching things a certian amount of times...

 

[PhillyFlyersGrl]

Its normal to doubt that you have OCD, thats why its called the "doubting disease", and you won't have anxiety every time you have the thoughts. At first I did because I thought wtf is this? why am I having these thoughts? does it mean I want to do these things? then I read up on ocd and I didnt really get the anxiety feelings with it, I would just get annoyed and try to control the thoughts. But yes its very normal to doubt you have it, and you won't get anxious feelings every time you have the thoughts.

 

[LockieKermit]

One thing that keeps getting to me is that I seem to not have anxiety like everyone els.

For example, In the weekend I put on Blade Trinity, got a little into it, and it came to a scene where hes being questioned by police about how many people hes murdered and my anxiety was extreme, I turned the DvD off and put it back on the shelf...

Most of the time, it's not that bad, it's scary but its more like a nervousness or at best butterflies.


............


Also, I keep questioning life like, Why is it bad to kill people? what makes the serial killers different from anyone els? Why do we obey the law, etc. What makes this thing right, and this thing wrong.


Thats mostly at school, when I get home and im doing stuff that I like to do, and helping dad, or what not I almost dont have intrusive thoughts at all, and im quite happy, but then something will pop up and scare me.

Sometimes I think to myself, im crazy, im a nut case, im a serial killer waiting to happen, then other times im like....seriously, you have OCD, its OCD!!! but that is short lived.


Sorry for the long post guys, I really appreciate your help