maybeitsme
Member
Hi, I'm new here. I joined this forum because I don't know where or whom else to go.
I've been feeling so lonely for the passed few days. Feeling so much sadness and loneliness, I broke down into tears already. It feels like my friends that I'm always with in school don't even like me. They are only there when they need something from me. I can't feel their appreciation and care. When I'm with them, I'm quiet because it feels like they don't even notice my presence. And I think they won't even notice if I'm not with them.
It's not the first time that I felt this kind of too much loneliness. It happened already during my childhood and the reason was my family especially my siblings. There's always comparison. Like they got a lot of medals and certificates unlike me who didn't accelerate in academics that much. They teased and made fun of me. They talked about things that I couldn't even relate. In that case, I just felt like I was totally left out. During those times, I'd rather stay in school than go home. When I was home, I only talk to my mom. I was always in my room doing my things. I can't remember how long it happened but I know, it came to the point that my elder sister told mom to bring me to the doctor.
I can't tell what I am going through right now to my old friends because I'm scared that they might think that I'm so emotional, sensitive, overreacting or over thinking. In short, I'm scared that they might judge me. My mom is not an option as well because I'm not open to her. We barely talk stuff like school even if we're living in the same house.
I just want to let this out. And I just really need a friend right now.
I've been feeling so lonely for the passed few days. Feeling so much sadness and loneliness, I broke down into tears already. It feels like my friends that I'm always with in school don't even like me. They are only there when they need something from me. I can't feel their appreciation and care. When I'm with them, I'm quiet because it feels like they don't even notice my presence. And I think they won't even notice if I'm not with them.
It's not the first time that I felt this kind of too much loneliness. It happened already during my childhood and the reason was my family especially my siblings. There's always comparison. Like they got a lot of medals and certificates unlike me who didn't accelerate in academics that much. They teased and made fun of me. They talked about things that I couldn't even relate. In that case, I just felt like I was totally left out. During those times, I'd rather stay in school than go home. When I was home, I only talk to my mom. I was always in my room doing my things. I can't remember how long it happened but I know, it came to the point that my elder sister told mom to bring me to the doctor.
I can't tell what I am going through right now to my old friends because I'm scared that they might think that I'm so emotional, sensitive, overreacting or over thinking. In short, I'm scared that they might judge me. My mom is not an option as well because I'm not open to her. We barely talk stuff like school even if we're living in the same house.
I just want to let this out. And I just really need a friend right now.
