I make people nervous

[steelandglass]

Hi first time posting- I have intense social phobia and I have a fear of making people nervous.

I’m so scared of causing it that it seems to happen. I’ve talked to 2 therapists about the problem, they really don’t believe that I can do this; they say it’s magical thinking. The best advice I’ve gotten is--
“instead of assuming that you are causing it, come up with an alternative explanation.” That would help if I was confused, but the reality is that I make people nervous. The only information that I have been able to find are at these web addresses.

http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/getting-used-to-making-people-nervous-15166/

Ever feel like you make people nervous? - Social Anxiety Forum

I make people nervous!! - How can I deal with this? It doesn't stop...

I basically have the exact same problem as these people—I wish I could contact these posts but I haven’t had any luck. It seems the way I’m trying to handle this is—try to avoid and prevent it from happening—and thinking of alternate explanations—It’s not working at all. It kills me to have this problem—it’s horrible on my family/social life.

Does anybody else have this problem—if so I would really appreciate any information or advice on what has helped you through this problem.

Or, if anybody has any ideas or any type of advice or help—I’ll take anything

Thanks for taking the time to read this—please write if you have any ideas/info/advice

 

[DeadmanWalking]

Hey there and welcome!

As for your making people nervous, it could have something to do with your thinking. Ever hear of the "self-fulfilling prophecy" thing where, if you think something is going to happen, then you make it happen? That could be it. You see, and I'm just guessing here, you're too caught up trying to figure out how you're making people nervous and how to not to that, to the point where you're not there in the real world and your actions aren't natural. You've got something on your mind and that's being transmitted to others, but they don't know what you're thinking, so they assume the worst. Take a deep breath and calm yourself when you're speaking to others or getting ready to. It would also help if you explain your situation to the people that you're talking to, I believe, so that they know what's going on with you and they can better understand you. After all, friends are completely open with each other, right (not that I'd know)?

 

[coyote]

Hi, and welcome to the forum.