I love someone with severe depression
- Thread starter Ralhill
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Newtype
Well-known member
You sound like a good man. The only thing you can do is be there for her whenever you can. Never be angry at her, never ignore her, always be understanding. Make her feel your love, tell her how much she means to you, tell her what you love about her. If she has trouble in skool, try to help her with that. Don't let that girl hurt herself again. Only she can heal her depression but you can be a big support to her.
I thought that it was getting better, but it's getting worse. She's hardly talking to anyone at all, and the therapy hasn't been helping her. I can barely get her to talk to me, and she could always talk to me. It's getting to the point where I have no idea what to do anymore, and what I can do seems pointless. We just had a conversation and she explicitly stated that she wouldn't miss anything that she left behind, and she even went far enough to want me to respect her "decision" in not wanting to live anymore.
I asked "How would you feel if you were in my position?" She responded "I'd let you do what you wanted to do no matter what". She keeps saying that it's not fair that everyone wants to keep her "here" when she does not want to be. I can't even describe how horrible this conversation was to have in words. I can't tell her what she wants to hear, but when I don't she just assumes that everyone is selfish.
Her 13 year old sister told her she's been acting "weird" and that she hates her, her mother has always put a lot of worry and stress on her (usually without her knowing it, but it's extremely obvious) and is still doing it, and her father doesn't even really understand the whole situation in general. I don't know what to ****ing do anymore, this is driving me insane myself. I go to bed late, wake up extremely early, try to sleep during the day and only end up doing it in scattered 15-20 minute intervals, and always try to look forward to talking to her on the phone (She hasn't wanted to "hang out" or see any friends) which always ends up as me talking and her not saying much.
I've just been coming to the conclusion that there's nothing at all I can do except wait and hope medication eventually works (Maybe it takes more than 3 months?) because I can't take this anymore. I'm a strong person. But not this strong...
I asked "How would you feel if you were in my position?" She responded "I'd let you do what you wanted to do no matter what". She keeps saying that it's not fair that everyone wants to keep her "here" when she does not want to be. I can't even describe how horrible this conversation was to have in words. I can't tell her what she wants to hear, but when I don't she just assumes that everyone is selfish.
Her 13 year old sister told her she's been acting "weird" and that she hates her, her mother has always put a lot of worry and stress on her (usually without her knowing it, but it's extremely obvious) and is still doing it, and her father doesn't even really understand the whole situation in general. I don't know what to ****ing do anymore, this is driving me insane myself. I go to bed late, wake up extremely early, try to sleep during the day and only end up doing it in scattered 15-20 minute intervals, and always try to look forward to talking to her on the phone (She hasn't wanted to "hang out" or see any friends) which always ends up as me talking and her not saying much.
I've just been coming to the conclusion that there's nothing at all I can do except wait and hope medication eventually works (Maybe it takes more than 3 months?) because I can't take this anymore. I'm a strong person. But not this strong...
hangbi92
Well-known member
Hi Ralhill, Im sad to know that things are getting worse.
What I can say is that u have always been a strong man. And I believe that u r strong enough to go with her through tough time. U already know that all that annoying stuff she said was just because of her depression. If u leave her now that may be the end for her, and her depression will become much worse. So just hang in there and I believe happiness will come to both of you.
I want to share you this story, about my friend. His girlfriend has a serious health problem (with her neck, but I dont know how to call it). She is currently living in China while he is in Canada. Because of her health issue, my friend has to send her girlfriend money (quite a great amount) without letting his mother know. He does everything for her, even when recently her girlfriend got angry at him on the webcam, saying that he didn't care enough about her (she almost had a car accident and thanks to one of her friend she was saved). She even said she didnt want him to go back to China. And my friend became really sad and depressed, he skipped some class recently. I asked him did he still love her and u know what, he said: "I do, and I will always do". Now things has gone back to normal now, his gf has made it up with him. I believe that if u are patient, u will get what u deserve.
Remember, we are just outsiders, we dont know completely how your situation is. I cannot tell if she loves you or not, or is that depression the reason makes her acting weird. U understand ur own situation more than anyone else. Sometimes u have to ask yourself: Do you really love her? Is this what u really want to do? Everyone has the right to seek for happiness, and you have to be sure that what u are doing is what u love to do. Based on what u have written, i believe u really love her no matter what. The problem now is to know how she feels about you. Its hard to understand a girl's feeling, especialy when she has depression. Wait until she gets calm, when u know that what she says is true, and ask her if she truely loves you. If the answer is yes, u know that all the annoying saying she says is just because of her depression. Maybe she thinks that she does not deserve your love so she said all that stuff. But if you leave her, that will be a great loss for her, and she may find no reason to live anymore.
U should know that u may have to sacrifice many things. U should know that she may have depression and live with medication the rest of her life, and u should know that she may say things that hurts your feeling again. U have to prepare to go through the tough time with her. But there is no obstacle for a true love. I believe if you truely love her, u will finally find your happiness
What I can say is that u have always been a strong man. And I believe that u r strong enough to go with her through tough time. U already know that all that annoying stuff she said was just because of her depression. If u leave her now that may be the end for her, and her depression will become much worse. So just hang in there and I believe happiness will come to both of you.
I want to share you this story, about my friend. His girlfriend has a serious health problem (with her neck, but I dont know how to call it). She is currently living in China while he is in Canada. Because of her health issue, my friend has to send her girlfriend money (quite a great amount) without letting his mother know. He does everything for her, even when recently her girlfriend got angry at him on the webcam, saying that he didn't care enough about her (she almost had a car accident and thanks to one of her friend she was saved). She even said she didnt want him to go back to China. And my friend became really sad and depressed, he skipped some class recently. I asked him did he still love her and u know what, he said: "I do, and I will always do". Now things has gone back to normal now, his gf has made it up with him. I believe that if u are patient, u will get what u deserve.
Remember, we are just outsiders, we dont know completely how your situation is. I cannot tell if she loves you or not, or is that depression the reason makes her acting weird. U understand ur own situation more than anyone else. Sometimes u have to ask yourself: Do you really love her? Is this what u really want to do? Everyone has the right to seek for happiness, and you have to be sure that what u are doing is what u love to do. Based on what u have written, i believe u really love her no matter what. The problem now is to know how she feels about you. Its hard to understand a girl's feeling, especialy when she has depression. Wait until she gets calm, when u know that what she says is true, and ask her if she truely loves you. If the answer is yes, u know that all the annoying saying she says is just because of her depression. Maybe she thinks that she does not deserve your love so she said all that stuff. But if you leave her, that will be a great loss for her, and she may find no reason to live anymore.
U should know that u may have to sacrifice many things. U should know that she may have depression and live with medication the rest of her life, and u should know that she may say things that hurts your feeling again. U have to prepare to go through the tough time with her. But there is no obstacle for a true love. I believe if you truely love her, u will finally find your happiness
Last edited:
sullyS1985
Well-known member
I am really sorry to hear that because it must really suck. I dont know how much this helps, probably not at all but i have always told people that i dont even love myself so how can i love someone else.i think you are great for being concerned and trying to do anything you can to help though
hangbi92
Well-known member
i'm really sorry
i think she just needs to get the strength to WANT to get better. if that makes any sense to you. anyways you will always stay friends i'm sure, and nothing can ever truly take away such a deep connection. she'll be herself some day when she feels much "better"- and then, no doubt, will she really see how much you care. things will be fine and try not to worry
i agree. whether u and her become a couple or or not, you two will always be good friends. Maybe thats what she wants, keeping you as a friend.
I have always hope that you and her will finally be together one day, and with your love she will overcome her depression (sounds like a movie or a fairy tale). But, you have tried your best for your love, and sometimes you have to think for yourself too.. You have to decide what you need to do. More than anyone else, you know what you truly want to
I wish you the best of luck. Its your choice now. Be a friend and support her or continue to love her no matter what. But I still hope that you become a couple one day.