I just really blew it, I need advice

[DanFC]

As you all know, dealing with SA, or in my case Avoidant PD, can be tough, but recently I joined an honor society at the university. So yesterday we had some activities, it was a lot of fun and I got to meet a lot of potential friends. However, there was an after-party, and I got completely, like forget what happened, wasted. My roommate's part of the society as well and was at the party, and he told me I was grabbing all the girls and was eventually kicked out. Now I feel really really bad, because not only would I never do anything like that in my right mind, but I may have just lost any potential friends and any sort of respect in the society.

So now I don't know what to do I have to meet up with many of the same people for committee meetings tomorrow! Ugh, I always manage to screw myself over.

 

[PhillyFlyersGrl]

Wow...that really really sucks..
Tell people, you were out of your mind drunk and you don't remember.
Im sure those people have been drunk before too and have done stupid stuff. Hopefully they'll be understanding.

 

[Richey]

As you all know, dealing with SA, or in my case Avoidant PD, can be tough, but recently I joined an honor society at the university. So yesterday we had some activities, it was a lot of fun and I got to meet a lot of potential friends. However, there was an after-party, and I got completely, like forget what happened, wasted. My roommate's part of the society as well and was at the party, and he told me I was grabbing all the girls and was eventually kicked out. Now I feel really really bad, because not only would I never do anything like that in my right mind, but I may have just lost any potential friends and any sort of respect in the society.

So now I don't know what to do I have to meet up with many of the same people for committee meetings tomorrow! Ugh, I always manage to screw myself over.

are you sure you have avoidant PD, even if you are drunk that seems like the sort of behaviour from someone who is very confident in themselves.

 

[DanFC]

Yeah, it seems like that's my only option. Should I wait for them to bring it up, or should I start out with that tomorrow? If I knew exactly who I offended, I would just go up to them about it, but I don't know who it was, and there are a lot of people in the society.

Richey, when sober I rarely if ever talk to anybody out of fear and judgment, I'm emotionally disconnected, etc. This was a one time thing.

 

[PhillyFlyersGrl]

Yeah, it seems like that's my only option. Should I wait for them to bring it up, or should I start out with that tomorrow? If I knew exactly who I offended, I would just go up to them about it, but I don't know who it was, and there are a lot of people in the society.

Richey, when sober I rarely if ever talk to anybody out of fear and judgment, I'm emotionally disconnected, etc. This was a one time thing.

No, wait and see if anyone brings it up. Maybe you'll get lucky and they were drunk too like you were..or they really dont care..
and if someone confronts you just apologize, make sure they understand you were blacked out, and dont remember anything....if they start getting mad ask them "havent you ever been drunk before?"

 

[DanFC]

Alright, but if people start to give me looks I guess I should bring it up then as well. Thanks, I hope this whole thing will just blow over.

 

[DebbieDowner]

Being a person who happened to (accidentally...?) get trashed at my work x-mas party and felt completely embarrassed about it the whole two weeks of vacation following, would say:

1.) why the hell didn't your roommate help you out that night? he should have had your back and realized that if you were THAT intoxicated he should have brought you home BEFORE you got yourself kicked out of the party.
2.) Definitely wait to see how people respond to you, you never know what they will or won't remember or bring up. In my situation, no one ever said a word so I just let it go - i think everyone was nearly as drunk that night as I was.
3.) If people seem upset with you, then apologize and be honest about how you feel.
4.) If people don't seem upset but do bring it up, just try to joke about it if you can, i've found that this is usually the scenario with these kind of drunken escapades, people will want to bring it up, but if you laugh along with them they'll forget about it.

Don't beat yourself up, I know how awful that feeling is, especially when other people tell you but you can't remember exactly what happened...it's always just a good lesson on why it's never a good idea to drink too much! lol

 

[DanFC]

Thank you DD, I really needed that sort response.

 

[userremoved]

I know people get tired of hearing "it could be worse", but at least you not the guy who gets in fights when drunk. You should be able to gracefully bounce back from this however.

 

[Danfalc]

Easier said than done I know but try not to give yourself a hard time.Pretty much everyone who goes out and drinks has done somthing simlar at some point.

Your obviously not a bad person or you wouldnt regret it or be bothered about it.People will forget quickly enough,and most people will know it was just the drink.Also people who are your friends wont need explanations,and should know it was out of character anyway.

 

[Pink_Paula]

The thing is even so called "normal" people make mistakes when they are drunk, it doesn't mean you are a bad person or that you should feel ashamed to face these people again, if i were you i'd try to laugh it off, say you can't believe how drunk you got. But don't meet up with them again acting like a guilty party, that will only give them ammunition to take you up on it and maybe make you feel worse. I know it's hard to shrug off something like that, but sometimes it's the best thing to do!

 

[DanFC]

Yeah, it's going to be hard not to act guilty, but I guess I'll have to try. And yeah, the situation is something that a lot of people go through at one point or another, but it's pretty bad for someone like us with social problems and in a situation where you just met everyone else. Ah well, though I do feel terrible right now, your responses have helped me greatly and I know this will pass.

 

[spendogz]

Jokingly blame them for getting you so drunk.

Tell them you haven't had such a good time in a while. You got carried away.

Make sure it doesn't happen again.

Tell your friend, to look after you better.

If they still give you an attitude. Screw them, they wont make for good friends anyway.

 

[Pink_Paula]

Yeah, it's going to be hard not to act guilty, but I guess I'll have to try. And yeah, the situation is something that a lot of people go through at one point or another, but it's pretty bad for someone like us with social problems and in a situation where you just met everyone else. Ah well, though I do feel terrible right now, your responses have helped me greatly and I know this will pass.

I've had so mayny embarrassing experiences, if i let myself get too hung up on them i would never show my face again, online or in real life. These things pass, the only thing that keeps them hanging around is if you let them get to you

 

[Nack]

I know this has nothing to do with the situation at hand, but I would like to see the stuff I do when i'm wasted.