I JUST DONT GET IT??

[MariahCarey]

how can quiet and reserved people still have friends? it confuses me. i'm not talking about ppl with SA but i'm talking about the ppl who dont have sa but they're just really chilled out and laid back kinda ppl, they're not loudmouths infact they hardly say a word, yet they can still socialise with an extroverted person and that extroverted person wont even find them boring or anything, yet i've been called boring a few times yet i am no different than those laid back ppl who dont have sa!

 

[DYiNG-iNSiDE]

i kno what u mean-- ppl have always said im 2 quiet when theres always sum1 more quiet sitting right next 2 me!! it drives me crazy but i think the reason is becuz mabye they just look laid back and do talk other times and we look nervous or like we never talk I DONT KNOW!! lol its hard 2 explain

 

[corrinaelizabeth]

yep its crazy,ppl ask me y i dont speak or sumthin but i do!!!i talk more than the ppl im wit sumtimes but i always feel singled out,how frustratin!

 

[random]

MariahCarey,
I am guessing that their laid back behavior makes it easy for people to approach them. I always suffer through social dinners (school or work) and often can't get myself to get out of the car to go in.
But one miserable event I wound up sitting next the the calmest man in the world. He was so calm...I wondered if I should feel his wrist for a pulse. And it helped me to relax. He didn't seem to worry what people would think if he was silent (what a concept) or what anyone would think of him (call me jealous) and he was satisfied to sit there and absorb the going's on. It was the only time I can remember relaxing and having a good time. He was an enormous man (think of the Wookie from the movie Star Wars) and everyone seemed to pick up on and relax in his sense of contentment. I was amazed that I 'got' to have a fun time out...utterly amazed. I think that may be why those calm types attract people to converse with them.

 

[Tryin]

i think there's a big big difference between being guiet because you are shy and being guiet because you just want to. people can sense whether you feel comfortable or not. it's not like that people don't want to be your friends or that they don't accept you because you are guiet. it's okay to be guiet. everythig's okay as long as you feel comfortable with it.
can you understand me? :roll:

 

[jessnz]

it's okay to be guiet. everythig's okay as long as you feel comfortable with it.

that actually makes a lot of sense to me, we are aware that we're quiet and shy and we're uncomfortable about it which stops us from enjoying things

 

[Scottish_Player]

they're not loudmouths infact they hardly say a word, yet they can still socialise with an extroverted person and that extroverted person wont even find them boring or anything

Without sounding big headed iam that nearly that kinda person, people always want to talk to me even although i dont say much, but when i do say alot i make sure its worth saying. People always joke to me that they think i have some secret life because i dont give much away, i tell people straight that i have a dull boring life upfront so that they know who iam, but yet they still want to talk with me. This is mostly in work because like i said i have a dull boring everday life so there is no socialising in it.

I also seem to get peoples trust so easy, and they seem to tell me their problems because i think they feel relaxed around me and know that iam not the type of person to judge them, but these are moslty on a one to one situation.

In my work i had one of my trainees tell me that i was the most chilled out person he had ever worked with, for me this was the biggest compliment ive had in my life, i never seen it in myself but if thats how others see me then iam pleased.

Like it was mentioned before,just try and relax around people and soon you will be the kool chilled out guy 8)

 

[red_reagel]

I'm dealing with the same problem too. My friends says I'm too shy and never say a word, but sometimes I do. I think she's a hypocrite... she doesn't say much in a group either.

And through elementary there was a girl who was twice as shy as me, but people would always walk up to her first and talk to her. The strange thing is, like MariahCarey said, this girl is soo quiet, but she looks laidback and comfortable.

I think some people only like to judge first, and talk to certain people they think they might like. Rather than just try talking to anyone.

 

[Lonelyheart]

Without sounding big headed iam that nearly that kinda person, people always want to talk to me even although i dont say much, but when i do say alot i make sure its worth saying. People always joke to me that they think i have some secret life because i dont give much away, i tell people straight that i have a dull boring life upfront so that they know who iam, but yet they still want to talk with me. This is mostly in work because like i said i have a dull boring everday life so there is no socialising in it.

I also find that people at work often want to talk to me even though I don't say much. I think people like to talk to me because they know I won't ask personal questions, judge, insult, or talk about myself too much.

 

[Richey]

oh im a borderline mute in group situations most of the time i struggle to get a word in and when i do it can be awkward even with family ....this is why i have SA symptoms, some people can talk the talk but im getting to the stage where i just lack this ability to be witty and relaxed with people like i used to be, i put way too much pressure on myself

i think that the difference is that quiet people who dont have sa can still go about their goals and challenges without as many set backs so they may project confidence, but humans are complicated creatures