I have to vent, too much stress

[206Raider]

I feel I have to say something becuase I have too much stress but no outlet for it. My sister who was close to me and helped me out all thruout life has become somebody else, I've always came to her rescue in situations becuase we've both had hard lives and she is a semi-alchoholic and bi-polar. Anyways, she has 2 great daughters that live in a stressful eviroment. Well 1 of them is....anyways she moved to Arizona with her bf who beats her and they have no money. She wants her older daughter who is a blessing to me also down there when she can't support her right now so my mom tod her she should wait til she's settled and found a job. Well my sister didn't like that so she yelled at my mom who helps me with everything also and is very close to me. So I tried callin my sister but she constantly ignores my calls and doesn't call back and I heard she was talking to my stepdad who I hate and my mom recently divoriced (not to mention he BEAT my sister as a child) and told him that she doesn't want to talk to any of us again (meaning my mom, me and my brother)

I was shocked so I left her a text message saying "I don't know whats wrong with you but you gotta grow up becuase you can't support them kids right now" and MAYBE some borderline mean things but they were true, my niece doesn't need to see her mom get beat and be drunk! so she says she hates me and all of us and it cuts deep becuase she's been one of the only close people to me, she is a really good person at heart but she's lost and listenin to a terrble boyfriend. So my stepdad wants to steal my niec and take her to Arizona, but I can't let it happen, my neice cries and doesn't want to go back there and my neice is special to me she's only 7 but when I been down and feeling suicidal once and not saying anything at all, she comes out of nowhere and gives me a hug which surprised the hell out of me becuase she's usually kind of messes with me and makes jokes about me wth her friends (you know how kids are) and never gives hugs (I never really ask either, I have a weird phobia that people will think I'm weird if I hug a kid or something). I just can't stand to see her live the way she may if she goes with my sister becuase right now my grandma takes good care of her, but I don't want to lose my sister forever.

 

[danstelter]

That's some pretty intense and complex stuff there, 206Raider. I would urge you to seek out counseling (very helpful for me) and you can also talk to a counselor about how to navigate through these difficulties that you are experiencing. This is a very critical situation and something needs to be done in the near future before things go any farther out of control. Abusive boyfriends can turn into murderers, and that is something you would certainly want to talk to a counselor about. Please continue to ask questions on here if you feel you need farther guidance.

 

[ForeverBlue2]

this sound a like a terrible situation. Unfortunately your sister, no matter how good she was in the past, has got herself into a mess that is not good for the children. No matter how much you try to reason with her, she wont' listen. If necessary, for the sake of the children, get the authorities involved, child protection or whoever deals with these things where you are. Notify them or her situation with the drinking and abusive boyfriend and they may give you and your mother legal care of the children. Far too often you see children in this situation and they end up severely abused or worse. Someone needs to fight for their rights so they aren't just another statistic.
good luck and try to stay strong.

 

[LadyWench]

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a rough time right now. It's a shame that your sister was loving and close to you before, but now that she's got this new stupid boyfriend, she's changed. And that of course isn't fair to her children. I can definitely understand why you'd want to protect your niece from any potential harm, whether it's physical or emotional.

I agree with the two above posters. You could always go into counseling and see if they can offer you some advice. Possibly help you with this situation and get it under control. Or at least try to make you feel better about what's going on.

Another option is like ForeverBlue2 said, get the authorities involved. If you think your niece is truly at risk, you need to notify someone that can legally remove her from the home. But it's really up to you if you want to go that far.

You can still try to contact your sister and try reasoning with her. Maybe try calling again and if she does answer, talk calmly to her. Tell her your FEELINGS. Otherwise, she might feel like she's being attacked, judged and won't listen.

I'm sorry I can't really be much help. Good luck to you, though. I hope things get better for you soon.

 

[206Raider]

Thank all 3 of you for your input, all seems to be a little better but not much, my sister still acting crazy but my niece is safe and sound.

As far as councelling, I tried that for over a year and a half. I spilled my guts out but I never made a change so it seemed like a waste, I act so (maybe forced) happy on the outside, try to act polite, smile etc. But I'm very sad at my life on the inside, I've let it all out to the councellor and ppl think I'm not that bad cuz I don't act super despressed around people, I hide it well and be quiet.my coucnellor eventually said I should look at like social anxiety groups but haven't found any (or tried to hard, the thought of being in a mental hospital for a couple weeks scares the hell outta me for some reason, my odler brother is always making fun of me and if he found out about that I would hide or something lol)

Anyways I sent my sister a few texts since my first post, saying I hope she is well and try to calm her down but I think I may have lost her for now atleast, she never replies and she still says to other people that she hates all my family. I hope she don't kill herself cuz I know she's been suicidal in the past (I'll never forget me driving to her house when she was drunk and I had the flu becuase her and her boyfriend were fighting at midnight, she went in my car to take her to my moms while I'm feeling like puking and she is trying to jump out of my car on the freeway with the door open.) ANyways Thank you all again, I'll try to keep yall updated if you care