I have so many questions.

[SocialMess]

1) What is the difference between social phobia and avoidant personality disorder? Is it possible to have one without the other, or are they redundant?

2) Does anyone else relate to this sentence:
"I'm miserable near people, but I'm not happy alone, either".
I've reached a point where I don't even desire social relationships anymore because all I imagine is the stress of it, like work. However, I don't like being alone either because my days are empty and seem kinda meaningless without other people. I feel like a lack of social relationships are the thing that is making my life feel empty and pointless, but I make no attempt to develop them because I've been this way so long.

3) Does anyone know about any psychological or physiological research about what cuases this problem? I know I'm not normal, there is something definitely wrong with me to make me this way. Normal people don't drop out of school, not leave the house 4 years, not one friend or relationship all the way through for damn near 12 years.

 

[outcastlonerfreak]

Does anyone else relate to this sentence:
"I'm miserable near people, but I'm not happy alone, either".

I sure do relate to that! I seem to crave being around people and complain that I have no social life and no friends, but then when I am around people I cannot seem to stop thinking about being alone because I feel too uncomfortable and out of place. When I am alone I am unhappy because I feel like an outcast, then when I am with people I feel the exact same way since I am different from everyone. It is so confusing!

 

[recluse]

Avoidant personality disorder occurs because of social phobia; The anxiety of being in social situations becomes so great the sufferer avoids getting into the situation, whereas social phobics can still meet friends etc but they feel anxiety which they can just about cope with. In the long run though most social phobics develop avoidant.

 

[alex29]

2) I was just thinking about this today. I am so lonely but as soon as Im around people I want to crawl under a rock! people are just so inconsiderate sometimes. when Im around my friends Im not really happy because they dont give me much attention and I feel left out all the time. at least when Im alone I dont have to deal with that. people just dont understand

 

[alter_ego]

Avoidant personality disorder occurs because of social phobia; The anxiety of being in social situations becomes so great the sufferer avoids getting into the situation, whereas social phobics can still meet friends etc but they feel anxiety which they can just about cope with. In the long run though most social phobics develop avoidant .

God, I hope not!!! 8O

I have to strongly disagree. I was painfully shy when at school and even for a good while after leaving school. I now realise I was socially phobic, but nobody had heard the term back then. Okay, so now I still avoid parties etc whenever I can BUT I'm much more confident talking with people. I do feel anxious with most of them (tho they'd never suspect it) but there are some people, especially friends, that I feel totally comfortable with. And with those same people I'm okay with small social gatherings such as going to a quiet pub or a day out somewhere.

Don't think it can't ever get better. It CAN.