It sounds like you are in kind of a slump which you need to get out of. Having to search for a job you actually dont want is very hard. This can make you depressed. If you are very negative in your head it often means that physically you are not very fit. Mind and body actually go hand in hand.
So the first thing you should do is nurture yourself well. Try to build it up step by step. The first thing you can do is try to sleep 7/8 hours a day at regular times. Not more not less. You will notice that when you are rested you have less depressing thoughts. Also a good eating pattern is advisable (breakfast, lunch and dinner at regular times). This all is easy and a good way to start. Also doing sports is really effective and clears your mind (scientificly proven). Working on your fitness also feels very good. I go to the gym (im like a ghost in there, but at least i do something
). You dont have to go to the gym, you can just go running where no people are around (even doing situps at home is good). This step is a little harder because you have to go out, but it really pays off. Try to push yourself to it.
When you are getting in better shape you will feel the strength (physical and mental) coming back. You need this strength to find a job and fight your SA. Together with taking good care of yourself physically its a good thing to find someone who can help you with your way of thinking (psychologist).
So my advice is to build it up step by step. Starting with a good day rythem. Sleeping well (7/8 hours, at regular times) allready does magic. Try to see it as a challenge. I dont know how your financial situation is, but if you have some space i would focus a week (or maybe a little longer) on your self. After that you will have much more strength to start searching for a job. But offcourse if you feel positive its good to start searching right away.
