Okay, so first of all, I am just ranting/unwinding so please excuse me... I don't feel too well at the momment and I just want to get it out.
I just got back from grocery shopping... I am just so dissapointed at how bad I am at interacting with people... specially females. I am trying my best to overcome my social anxiety, and to be honest, I'm doing quite well - but no matter how well I prepare, how confident I feel... how much I ****in know that everything will be fine, I feel so anxious/insecure when the momment comes.
I feel so bad, so dissapointed, and helpless. I am trying my best to overcome this, yet nothing is working out the way that I want. I didn't ask for this! Why do I have to have this? It's so ridiculous and unreal.... quite a stupid condition actually - yet it still exists in my mind and hinders my ability to be happy/myself.
Why has God given me this???? What kind of God would create such a thing?? What the ****??
Everytime I go out, there's so many cute women that want to talk to me, yet I cannot gather enough courage to even say hi to them.... or even LOOK at them...?? Why? There's nothing scary about people... male or female...
This is what is killing me the most, I want someone that can appreciate everything that I have to offer, and I think I have A LOT to offer... and someone that I can give myself to and complete... Yet I can't do this because I can't even look at females straight in the eye....
*Sigh*.................... I guess I'll keep trying - though I've been "trying" for quite a while now....
God help me!!!!!
I just got back from grocery shopping... I am just so dissapointed at how bad I am at interacting with people... specially females. I am trying my best to overcome my social anxiety, and to be honest, I'm doing quite well - but no matter how well I prepare, how confident I feel... how much I ****in know that everything will be fine, I feel so anxious/insecure when the momment comes.
I feel so bad, so dissapointed, and helpless. I am trying my best to overcome this, yet nothing is working out the way that I want. I didn't ask for this! Why do I have to have this? It's so ridiculous and unreal.... quite a stupid condition actually - yet it still exists in my mind and hinders my ability to be happy/myself.
Why has God given me this???? What kind of God would create such a thing?? What the ****??
Everytime I go out, there's so many cute women that want to talk to me, yet I cannot gather enough courage to even say hi to them.... or even LOOK at them...?? Why? There's nothing scary about people... male or female...
This is what is killing me the most, I want someone that can appreciate everything that I have to offer, and I think I have A LOT to offer... and someone that I can give myself to and complete... Yet I can't do this because I can't even look at females straight in the eye....
*Sigh*.................... I guess I'll keep trying - though I've been "trying" for quite a while now....