I Don't want to be alive anymore. Considering death.

[BC-chick]

Okay so at the moment in my life nothing is going well and because of my SA I cannot be positive or imagine things will be different. Anyway it doesn't matter cuz I really dot want to be alive anymore. I'm inside a hole. It's too high to climb up. So instead of suffering why not just kill myself ? What? U say things will get better? Really because if I really new that then I wouldn't wanna be dead. Anyway. Is anyone else feeling like crap ? I'm not one of those ppl who try to get attention by saying they're gonna kill themselves. I'm not saying I will. But I really wanna not feel ANYTHING anymore. I wanna go away. Maybe I wasn't meant to be here. I'm inside the house all day who am I helping in this world? I'm not doing anything and I don't feel capable of doing anything in my life. I'm really sorry you read all this rant. *~sigh~* I want to know what it's like to be dead. I don't believe in heaven or hell. What you get is here on earth..but some uncapable people just suffer.
So many people have not been there in my life..friends family members and i feel by killing myself it would hurt them and I WANNA hurt them because I hurt inside when they're not there for me. I wanna hurt them and I wanna end my joke of a life.

 

[Boby]

I have this kind of feelings sometimes,this "come on ,let's just give up" feeling.
But do you know the title of 50-cent album "Get rich or die trying"?
Well i adapted to my life ...Become a normal person or die trying!!

 

[Thelema]

These types of feelings come and go. The worst thing that can happen is you just have to ride it out for a while. Feeling bad can't hurt you. Something good will happen and you'll feel much better.

 

[Agent_Violet]

i always want to kill myself. only reason i don't is because i'm too scared to find out what happens if i do. so,yeah, i know how you feel.

And of course the minute you say you feel like you'd rather be dead you have to deal with the people who think you're just an attention seeker and that makes you want to crawl in an isolated state within yourself.

I don't think you should kill yourself just like I shouldn't kill myself. But when the feelings come up, you've just gotta deal with it and try not to do anything drastic. Easier said than done of course.

 

[MrJones]

i always want to kill myself. only reason i don't is because i'm too scared to find out what happens if i do. so,yeah, i know how you feel.

And of course the minute you say you feel like you'd rather be dead you have to deal with the people who think you're just an attention seeker and that makes you want to crawl in an isolated state within yourself.

I don't think you should kill yourself just like I shouldn't kill myself. But when the feelings come up, you've just gotta deal with it and try not to do anything drastic. Easier said than done of course.

I agree.

I'm scared to talk about it because I feel like an attention seeker, but those feelings, if they remain botteled up inside can do a lot of harm.

I don't have the right to give any advice here, but I hope you find a reason to live. Good luck.

 

[The Observer]

Wanting to hurt others because they hurt you is wrong, in my opinion.

Maybe you should see or talk to a person in the mental health profession to help you with your problems.

 

[MrJones]

Wanting to hurt others because they hurt you is wrong, in my opinion.

Agree. I always try to forgive people who hurt me, but maybe that's because I feel worthless. Anyway I wouldn't hurt them back.

You can always talk about this to a professional so you can get better help.

 

[The Observer]

I always try to forgive people who hurt me, but maybe that's because I feel worthless. Anyway I wouldn't hurt them back.

That's very good you can forgive people MrJones. It's hard to forgive and many people have a hard time doing this. I'd say forgiveness is a virtue. I admire you for being able to do it. I dont think its got much to do with feeling worthless, more to do with being a decent human being

 

[CrazyGirl]

Lately, I have been having intense feelings and thoughts of wanting to die. Severe SA and mild deafness makes the situation worse. Yeah, I've told people how I felt and it has either pushed them away or they think I'm an attention seeker. I even had dreams of shooting up heroin and ODing on it. I'm too scared to try it knowing how addictive it is being around other people that have used it and its illegal too

 

[BC-chick]

the way you say that makes me feel like a crazy mentally ill person. im not nuts.. maybe you dont understand what i was trying to say. i wouldnt actually hurt myself or anyone. i was just trying to show how much other people have hurt me!

 

[CrazyGirl]

i was just trying to show how much other people have hurt me!

i can relate

 

[bcsr]

the way you say that makes me feel like a crazy mentally ill person. im not nuts.. maybe you dont understand what i was trying to say. i wouldnt actually hurt myself or anyone. i was just trying to show how much other people have hurt me!

I was the same way through most of my teenage years, but I did hurt a lot of people. Physically and emotionally. Made me feel better at the time, but I deeply regret those actions now.

 

[BrokenDream]

Perhaps you should try to take this feeling of wanting to end your life and use in a posivite way instead. Trying to find loop-holes out of this so called "hole" you've dug yourself into, and try to take up a sport, or one of the many arts. I can guarntee you happiness, and I wont pressure you to do something your obviously not going to do or you can probably hear from a fortune cookie, but life really does suck. Lets not give on on it, eh? Make a better life for yourself in absoulty every way you can think of, if you need any assitance or future tips you can always reach me and I'd be happy to give you some one-on-one help with these problems your facing. I'm more of a problem solver myself....or even an artist, if you will. Lets mold your seemingly large problems into something beautiful together...I'm sure you'll come out feeling stronger then before.

 

[montejocarlo]

been there... when i get terribly hurt, i feel like it would be a lot easier if i just didn't care. like if i was numb or something. sometimes, it's like a wound i want to keep on poking. (masochistic, i know, but aren't we all one way or another?) most of the pain i get is when people make me feel unwanted. and i would have the urge to hurt myself to get to them. but it would only work if they care at all. what if they didn't? it's an endless pit where i can just pop out or disappear without anybody noticing.

i'm not the expressive type. i keep my emotions to myself which, in my opinion adds tremendously to the problem. one day, it got really really bad and i couldn't bare it anymore. i almost had a meltdown. or maybe i actually did. i confronted my parents and it sure wasn't pretty. there was a lot of yelling (mostly by me), but i never regretted it because it was the first time i saw my father so gentle. i told them how scared and alone i felt. i was surprised because i never expected their reaction. they gave me encouraging words. cliches actually. didn't buy them, but at least i knew they wanted me to feel better. it was awkward being with them for a while after that. but it eased most of the tension in our family.

sometimes, people just don't know how to rub each others backs. we can make each other feel unimportant or rejected, but that doesn't mean it's true. in the years we spend living, we bump into many strangers. some of whom become acquaintances, some become friends. among those that we've met, it's unlikely that none cared. and among those that we will meet, it's impossible that none would admire or love. some things go without saying.

i wish i could help take away your pain. just keep moving forward. even if you don't see where you're going, at least you're not stuck. if you can't see a reason to do so right now, maybe you'll run into one along the way.