i dont understand this

[SteveB]

ok, so recently, i've come home from uni for the summer..i find it really hard to describe my feelings here, but here goes

at uni i can do loads like go out with mates and stuff and go to partys usually, but when im at home its like a million times worse than anything i feel at uni..

i didnt have a close group of friends at home, and tbh i much prefer being at uni.

i got good friends that i've met at uni and i just dont have that at home (with my parents). i mean i got a few good friends that i meet up with when im at home, but theres always been social anxiety when im at home. even when i was in school. i dno y it is worse at home than uni, but it is.

and im going away to kenya next friday to do some volunteering and stuff, and im really looking forward to it, cos im meeting up with the company ppl wen i get there, so its kinda nerve-wracking in that i gotta go alone, but im looking forward to meeting the ppl there, and im nowhere near as nervous about this trip to Kenya, as i am over a party on sunday.

im constantly trying to find an excuse to not go to the party, but i like the guy who's running it and i'd wana go, but im always trying to find excuses out of stuff like this, but its only when im at home.

i can go to clubs and stuff at uni and meeting new ppl is a lot easier at uni..

i dnt even know if it is meeting new ppl thats the problem, cos i like meeting new ppl. grrr its frustrating!

anyway, sorry or the rant

 

[aj]

I know exactly how you feel. I have that problem. I'm a completely different person anywhere away from home and my family - I feel 'comfortable' there but I can't really be myself at all. But I'm still scared away from home because I can't face my two worlds colliding. It's like a cloud hanging over me all the time. I just got a text message from someone at work and my immediate reflex is to take the phone and disappear into my bedroom. If I ever got a phone call I'd reject it, go somewhere and call back. Seems (I hope?) that I would need go to a different country to get rid of that.