I don't know what to do

[anomicdeer]

I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I think my depression has finally killed me. I don't really think I could have any interest in anything anymore. Well, maybe. I want to keep up with eating real food, cooking, exercising, outdoor sports and smiling. Those things would make me feel good. The thing is, I have no job at the moment and I don't go to school. I want to go to school but I don't know what I really like. I want to be able to get a useful education and get a good job so I can have the life I want (which isn't too much). I hate sitting in here having nothing to do, not feeling like it. I can't tell people what food to buy and I can't eat like I want. I hate sitting, watching tv (although it keeps my mind off things) and being lazy. I don't really have the patience to read, or have a crafting hobby anymore. I have a short attention span and I feel like that and the SA and depression is making me unintelligent and just plain unhappy about everything. Sometimes I want a friend to help guide me but then I try to avoid it so I won't waste their time. I don't even think I can actually communicate well even through texting/chatting...

 

[Ithior]

I want to go to school but I don't know what I really like.

I suggest taking online classes. Look for introductory classes mostly. I'll leave you some websites you can check out.

Start at any time you want:
Allversity (haven't tried yet, but I was going to start biology soon; not many courses though)
https://www.khanacademy.org/ (haven't tried either, but I think it's fairly easy to follow)
Saylor Academy (I think this is more like an actual degree; maybe you can take introductory classes from several degrees)

Follows a schedule (starts at a set date and ends at a set date; sometimes the quizzes and other things can have specific deadlines too):
https://www.coursera.org/ (the one I use the most, some classes are more complicated than others; you can fast forward the videos or slow them down, helps save a lot of time; if you have trouble finding these options you can message me)
https://www.open2study.com/ (only tried one course; it loads fairly slowly, and the youtube videos of my course can't be fast forwarded; other than that, it seems pretty easy)
https://www.edx.org/ (never really found anything interesting here, might not be adequate for introductory courses)

This one gives you a big list of courses starting soon:
MOOC List | A complete list of Massive Open Online Courses (free online courses) offered by the best universities and entities.

If you just want to watch videos and see if it interests you, then Allversity and specially Khan Academy are your best bets. If you want to get more involved, like taking notes, doing weekly quizzes to test yourself, and sometimes even tests and papers, you can try out Coursera and Open2Study. In these last two you don't really need to consider the quizzes or tests if you're not looking for a certificate.

I hope this helps. After getting a degree in Economics I realised I didn't really like it so I started looking for other things I might enjoy. I did a course on Coursera about Energy 101 (it was pretty easy but I didn't really like the subject that much), and I'm a few weeks away from finishing Introduction to Chemistry and Intro to Physics (also on Coursera). I'm also one week away from finishing "Introduction to Psychology" at Open2Study. I also learnt the basics of HTML, CSS and Java at Codecademy some months ago.

 

[anomicdeer]

I forgot to mention, I actually just started MOOC. I am finished an Effective Writing course and still taking a Marine Megafauna class and I think I'm doing okay in those. That is one reason why I started them. I wanted to know how well I may do in traditional school. I think online classes are more difficult to handle because you do all of it yourself. Of course you still have to force yourself to get to class in a classroom but still. Thank you for the suggestion.

 

[Ithior]

I think online classes are more difficult to handle because you do all of it yourself.

Huh, I actually feel the opposite. I don't have to wake up at 7am and force myself to stay awake during classes, I don't have any anxiety related issues that would make classes more painful and they'd also feel longer. I can stop teachers from talking so I can take notes or make them talk faster when I already know what they're talking about (only managed to do this last part in Coursera though). If I need to put a class on-hold because of other things, I can do it most of the time too.

I only needed other people in college to help me stay awake or to share notes because I couldn't write fast enough to get down all the important info the teacher was saying.

 

[anomicdeer]

When it comes to that, online would be better. I can't really make that decision for myself because I haven't gone to college.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

I think you should apply for a job that doesn't require too many skills since you're learning now. Maybe you can work in a coffee shop... grocery store? The pay isn't amazing but it adds up if you don't have to pay rent. You also say your interested in food so you just work somewhere where there's lots of yummy food