I am currently experiencing a fair amount of avoidance with regards to contacting my employer/manager. I am due to undertake a performance review and I am really lacking motivation/confidence to complete the required documentation with my assessor. ****, I really have to pull my finger out and either call or email them to arrange a time to meet at the office. On a +ve note I did just send an SMS to my brother to let him know I am thinking of him and to let him know I have made an appointment with a counsellor to discuss some issues and hopefully set up some ongoing counselling. The irony is I can be a very good commuicator in some situations and really terrible in others. I need to become consistent. That has always been an issue for me....a lack of consistency in my life, the way I approach and complete day to day tasks. My routine becomes messed up when I lose interest in things and become a bit of a recluse until I go back to work and HAVE to interact with others and communicate clearly and concisely.
I also have been really struggling with mathematical calculations. I have been finding it really difficult to remember the steps required to complete mathematical calculations I am required to do for work. I will use a spreadsheet, however I am struggling to remember the logic behind why I utilise certain information and the correct source of that information. This stuff is not new to me, but I feel that I have never really understood the process of using this information, but I know that I have had a very good understanding in the past. It is like I am missing bits in the overall picture and this is frustrating and drawing unwanted/unwarranted attention to my work performance. I want to discuss this with a counsellor and see what they say.
Maybe I am becoming depressed and I simply haven't realised how depressed I have become and the impact it is having upon my cognitive function and work performance
