I don't act like the person I feel like inside

[anxiousnut]

Inside I am thoughtful, open, sensitive, caring. I care about the earth, I worry about things, I get so easily hurt by what others say to me. But the way I act and the things I say make me come across completely differently to other people--like a harsh, overly-opinionated b**** sometimes. I am so self-conscious that I end up looking mean, mad...I don't know why I do this. I don't let the real me come out. Instead I come out as an unpleasant person who is judgemental, unhappy. I hear things coming out of my mouth and it's like, "Why did I just say that. This isn't me. That just sounded so mean and ranting". Even my family perceives me like this sometimes, and it hurts my feelings. UGH, this doesn't even make much sense

 

[scarednotshy]

it makes great sense to me. i am silly and sarcastic inside. yet because of my fears/anxieties/phobias i've had people say i look "angry at the world"......inside i'm a wreck but yet sensitive, thoughtful, funny, but what some see is ANGRY......

I try to be aware of this and keep my face looking softer. Try to keep my eyebrows from furrowing, but i know i can't be aware of it all the time.

some people just go through life being who they are, looking how they look, feeling how they feel, saying what they say and it's all good.......

i think the rest of us are so super sensitive and people sense that........

in my opinion, they don't like IT and they don't like US.

as for family, i just tonight had my husband reject me and walk away cuz he couldn't "fix" my social issues with his advice. when i tried to explain that it wasn't that simple (which he should know after eight years, goes to show how much he knows me) he got disgusted and walked away, leaving me alone to cry in the dark kitchen.

oh well, i've been alone with my fears my whole life. long before he came along. i think fear is a more intimate friend than even my husband. as weird as that might sound........

what can we do? we are who we are.

 

[slowmotiondaydream]

here here i look angry to the point that someone didnt want to approach me because i looked so angry

(in the end months later we got together and she told me that)

i hate it

 

[MissUnderstood]

I'm sorry to hear you're going through that... I have the same problem and I know how frustrating and desperate it can feel. Anxiety has a way of turning us into someone we don't recognize. Just today I was at practice and I was so negative. Almost every comment that came out of my mouth was, in a way, self-depricating. I didn't mean for it to be that way it just did.

Whatever happens, try not to be down on yourself, k ?

Rather, look at it as a learning lesson. You're now aware of the problem, and thus have what you need to make a change. The first part of fixing a problem is knowing you have one... and all that good ****

I have found that when I want to show my "true self" and not my anxious self, simply taking my time helps prevents mishaps. Take the time to think about how to respond... or take the time to take a few deep breathes. And if someone asks "are you listening?" or has something to say about how long you're taking to respond, you can always tell them "Oh, I was listening. When I listen, I try not to think about what to say next. If you're thinking about what to say next, you're not really listening." Or somethin like that ;-)

 

[vanfuggle]

Inside I am thoughtful, open, sensitive, caring. I care about the earth, I worry about things, I get so easily hurt by what others say to me. But the way I act and the things I say make me come across completely differently to other people--like a harsh, overly-opinionated b**** sometimes. I am so self-conscious that I end up looking mean, mad...I don't know why I do this. I don't let the real me come out. Instead I come out as an unpleasant person who is judgemental, unhappy. I hear things coming out of my mouth and it's like, "Why did I just say that. This isn't me. That just sounded so mean and ranting". Even my family perceives me like this sometimes, and it hurts my feelings. UGH, this doesn't even make much sense

I used to have the same problem. I was perceived as stuck up or mean, when it was really SA and shyness.

Try to "think" before you speak. Before you blurt something out, think- is it

Thoughtful?
Honest?
Intelligent?
Necessary?
Kind?

If not, maybe you don't need to say it Using that acronym helped me a lot. Good luck!