how we think a lot about what others think about us

[hardy]

I had this talk with a good (intelligent)friend yesterday about how i think a lot about what others think about me. His suggestion was just forget these thoughts about what others think...and keep doing your more important stuff.This caring about what they think will take us no where.

We are in so much pain already and increasing it by letting others judgement affect us.

WHat he meant is: If you feel anxious, feel anxious(live with it)....don't have to wonder what your friends(or others) are thinking. And even if you are very self-conscious, just be aware and not do anything about it.see if this feeling is permanent...and be dumb if you feel dumb and don't care that others are watching you. Again if you think they are judging you....don't give importance to them, keep doing your stuff. When you are too tired...relax and begin again.



He also suggested me to plant some seeds of goodness....maybe a random act of kindness etc as that will make us happier. Go to good places where people are kind. Sufficient relaxation.


Just let these things be. Being kind to them will help. Acceptance....even if ur acceptance is with an expectation...be aware and see if these expectations are permanent. If you lose hope...see if losing hope or getting back hope are permanent. If we can be a little experimental in this way...we can go a long way in dealing with anxieties/ phobias.

I am glad i met my friend....regards

 

[Facethefear]

I am glad you met your friend and could you introduce me to him please? He gave you good advice especially "relax and begin again".
We are sensitive people reacting to a world filled with some other humans who can be nasty and affect us. It is interesting how bullying has become a hot topic lately and recognized as unacceptable behaviour much like spanking a child or beating your wife or gay-bashing These used to be considered normal actions in my day. I think the feminist movement has caused this change in our perception that might isn't right and man's "natural" aggressiveness can be curbed with the fault taking away from the victim and correctly placed on the perp.
Now that bullying has become unacceptable, let us hope that other uninvited words/actions will be frowned upon, such as negative comments about another ones persona. I have been affected by others and their unwanted negative opinions of everything about me brought on by jealousy, envy, bad moods, ignorance and mental problems. That was in the past because now verbal slaps are treated the same as physical ones - you try to block them and if you cannot, you walk away with dignity after telling the abuser their lashing out is their problem and you will not lower yourself to their level and not be their victim.
I wish I had known this earlier in life. Other people's opinions used to have power over my self image - even people who hardly knew me. Now I laugh at people like that.
Don't let bullies get away with it - tell them what they are - walk away - don't go down to their leve -laugh at their awfulness.

Early morning rant and now I have to go to work. I hope this makes sense and helps somebody.