How was your holiday around Christmas? And also, New Year's resolutions!

[lily]

Heeey! I hope everyone has had a Merry Christmas.
Christmas Eve was good and a little fun. I went to a service at a church with family.
Christmas day I went with family again to a gathering party and it was nice to eat together, drink iced coffee, give each other hugs and talk a little and spend time together and see each other.
I also got a card with a gift card in it and a gift of healthy crackers and cinnamon tasting butter cookies with only 7 grams of sugar in it which I thought was a blessing and pot pies I believe that's what it's called, it was salty, not sweet. And I got 2 PMs for Christmas which I liked also.

New Year's resolutions for me will be to get off the benzo I've been taking. I am on 0.25mg now and I've tapered off a quarter every 3 months so next month I will be on 0.125mg for 3 months so it should be earlier next year that I will be off it. God is in control. I have been not well during the holidays but I still had blessings.

I also will hopefully be taking hair-cutting classes because I cut my mom and sister's hair as I can cut nice and evenly but I don't know how to do layers and cut professionally. And all I know for now is that I will be going for walks in the spring. What about you all? I wish you all a Happy New Year!

 

[Graeme1988]

Mine was okay, kinda. I mean, I spent Christmas with my immediate family. Just my mum, my nieces, my sister and their partners. The atmosphere was slightly awkward, not because I was feeling particularly anxious. Just that it felt like – with exception of my nieces – we were just going through the motions. It didn't feel genuine is the best way to describe.

It was also quite disappointing that my oldest sister never actually got me the Christmas present that I specifically asked for, and that she said she'd get me. So, I have see if it's now in the January sales and buying it with the Christmas money I got from her, my mum and my other sister.

In terms of New Year's Resolutions, I don't know what to set as a main goals. Getting back in shape, physically? Put more focus on record and releasing music? Or really putting myself and music out there by going busking? The latter of which would really fling me out of my comfort zone.

 

[lily]

@Graeme1988, How about reading the Holy Bible for your new year's resolution? by Holy, it means that you'd be righteous, always striving to be sinless and not blinded by any evil 'cause God will point it out to you and you'd watch yourself get sanctified and the living Word of God come to life as it says in scripture. God exists. Jesus Christ is Lord, it's real. There's a battle b/t good and evil forces/influences and we're to follow Jesus, to love and be loved and you'd get eternal life in heaven if you're a true follower and you'll have the Holy Spirit (God's Spirit on the inside of you) that'll help you after you read the bible and get baptized. God created us and the whole world. God bless.

 

[lily]

Mine was okay, kinda. I mean, I spent Christmas with my immediate family. Just my mum, my nieces, my sister and their partners. The atmosphere was slightly awkward, not because I was feeling particularly anxious. Just that it felt like – with exception of my nieces – we were just going through the motions. It didn't feel genuine is the best way to describe.

It was also quite disappointing that my oldest sister never actually got me the Christmas present that I specifically asked for, and that she said she'd get me. So, I have see if it's now in the January sales and buying it with the Christmas money I got from her, my mum and my other sister.

In terms of New Year's Resolutions, I don't know what to set as a main goals. Getting back in shape, physically? Put more focus on record and releasing music? Or really putting myself and music out there by going busking? The latter of which would really fling me out of my comfort zone.

I'm sorry to hear that your Christmas day wasn't that good.. what did you mean by not feeling genuine? Did you get the gift you wanted yet or not? I hope so! Those are great goals. Going to the gym is one of my goals as well for a new year's resolution but I have to deal with the depression I've been having first and I've been doing things to deal with that as a new year resolution too. I think you should focus and be positive and always remember that you're talented and a lot of people like your music and then just go for it, the busking and then once you do it, you'd realize either that you enjoyed yourself and tried to get others to enjoy it and tried to bless others with your music and what are the chances that no one would like your music anyway. I'd even like any string of music that someone randomly plays just to sit around that kind of environment and listen and talk to others while in that environment.. or you'd realize that many people like your music and then you wouldn't feel so uncomfortable if you look at it that way. Afterall, it shouldn't be all about you or about you at all but we all have a desire for it to be about us too, but it should be just about being good to "others" which is also what Lord Jesus is about, serving and loving others.

 

[Graeme1988]

@Graeme1988, How about reading the Holy Bible for your new year's resolution? by Holy, it means that you'd be righteous, always striving to be sinless and not blinded by any evil 'cause God will point it out to you and you'd watch yourself get sanctified and the living Word of God come to life as it says in scripture. God exists. Jesus Christ is Lord, it's real. There's a battle b/t good and evil forces/influences and we're to follow Jesus, to love and be loved and you'd get eternal life in heaven if you're a true follower and you'll have the Holy Spirit (God's Spirit on the inside of you) that'll help you after you read the bible and get baptized. God created us and the whole world. God bless.

Oh, that's a good resolution. Thanks for suggesting it.

 

[Graeme1988]

I'm sorry to hear that your Christmas day wasn't that good.. what did you mean by not feeling genuine?

Well, my mother's tangent about my sisters and how they treat her, which was vented at me on Christmas Eve didn't help.

Christmas Day just didn't feel as though anyone was happy to be there. It felt tense and awkward. Not that there were any arguments, as would occur in the past. But it felt like one might kick off.

Did you get the gift you wanted yet or not? I hope so!

I haven't got the electric violin yet. I still want to get it, but I don't know if I'll get it in the January sale as I'd planned to, since I've got the rent to pay and my mum and I switched to paying it monthly rather than weekly. So, all the money is paid out at once, as opposed to before when I was paying it every week and had to make sure there was still enough left for the next week's grocery shopping.

Those are great goals. Going to the gym is one of my goals as well for a new year's resolution but I have to deal with the depression I've been having first and I've been doing things to deal with that as a new year resolution too.

Thanks. I've been meaning to get back to the gym, but never really found the time to last year what with being focused on other things - like getting my music setup sorted out and taking care of my mum.

Sorry to hear that you've been struggling with depression, lately. But it's good that you've been doing things as part of one of your New Year resolutions to help deal with that. Like, I've just been keeping focused on and working towards my goals as a way of keeping my mind busy to keep from getting too depressed.

I think you should focus and be positive and always remember that you're talented and a lot of people like your music and then just go for it, the busking and then once you do it, you'd realize either that you enjoyed yourself and tried to get others to enjoy it and tried to bless others with your music and what are the chances that no one would like your music anyway. I'd even like any string of music that someone randomly plays just to sit around that kind of environment and listen and talk to others while in that environment.. or you'd realize that many people like your music and then you wouldn't feel so uncomfortable if you look at it that way.
Afterall, it shouldn't be all about you or about you at all but we all have a desire for it to be about us too, but it should be just about being good to "others" which is also what Lord Jesus is about, serving and loving others.

I guess it's just getting over the nerves and anxiety of playing music in front of people. That's my main obstacle since, either, my social anxiety mindset of: "They're judging me negatively" kicks in. Or, my nerves will impact my playing and I'll make mistakes - not that that's bad (making mistakes), it's just I'll be more critical of myself as a result. Since I already tend to be that way when it comes to my guitar playing, anyway.

My own worst enemy, I know...

Your perspective on the whole idea of busking is right, and the best way to look at it. Not that I would make it just about me, anyway, it's about me when I'm making the music. Once I put my music out there, whether it's uploading it to the internet or busking, it becomes about other people and whether they like or connect with it. And if they don't... I'm fine with that too.

It's just get over the whole thing of...
My mind: "So, we're doing this?"
Me: "Yeah, we're doing this"
My mind: "Wait, what?! You're sure?"
Me: "Yep!"
My mind: "Oh no! Can't do it! Nope! Can't do it! I'm freaking out!"
Me: "Nope! I'm out. Can't do it!"

And, sure, throwing me way out of my comfort zone is one way to help me deal with my social anxiety.

Though, to answer your question: "What are the chances of people disliking my music, anyway?" I'd say that's pretty slim since I haven't had any negative reaction to what I've uploaded to SoundCloud; as of yet, anyway. Plus, I didn't get any negativity when I shared some of my early recordings on this forum and asked for honest feedback. This took me aback since I was expecting at least some constructive criticism, given that it was late 2017 - around November - and I'd just started making and recording music in my bedroom back in April of that same year. No prior knowledge or experience when it came to the recording side of music and everything that entailed.

 

[lily]

Oh, that's a good resolution. Thanks for suggesting it.

I'm glad you think it's a good new year resolution! It would be amazing for you to start becoming a child of God. Then you would be entitled to God's promises and God will be faithful to His children for His name's sake and because He cares for us and it would be great to receive the Holy Spirit (God's Spirit on the inside of you) which is supposed to help you, one of the ways to hear His voice through this and through the Word of God, the Holy bible or we can just say, the bible.

An update for me is that I'm basically alright now with my depression, sadness though I'm still a bit bothered at times, but it seems manageable now. And my naturopathic doctor has given me a prescription for mood and depression so I plan to try it and take it in place of my conventional anti-depressant which I'm going to withdraw from this year after I get off the benzodiazepine in which I'm almost there.

Actually God has been really good to me in everyday things and in my needs and I remember how about a little more than 10 years ago, I had a crisis and my sister told me she heard of my naturopathic doctor who deals with mental health conditions and he really helped me tremendously. I have a really amazing naturopathic doctor who helped me with my crisis and prescribed me a natural supplement of vitamins and minerals for the brain that not only helped me with the crisis of having extraordinary anxiety from worrying but it also helped me be able to do eye contact with people now so I think I don't have social anxiety/phobia anymore which I said last year. It was a gift from God and I remember reading the whole bible prior to that. God also helped me tremendously spiritually know about Him a lot more than I did before and supplied my need on that. God also gave me a really good psychiatrist who would tell me about how the anti-psychotic medication would affect certain body parts and stuff and which ones would have most to least weight gain. God also gave me a really good family doctor at my favorite location where I could go and eat and drink close to an organic supermarket place. I could've had bad doctors but they're all so good. God is so good, faithful, Holy, pure, loving, caring, understanding, compassionate, merciful, humble, sweet, that's who Christ the Lord Jesus is and I wanted to share that.

I will update more on my progress in the how are you feeling thread. I had depression, sadness for about a month , it was really horrible but now I'm basically ok so I trust God that there must've been a reason for that and possibly I think sin involved and ignorance on my part but God has helped me improve so much so far and again. I will be trying what he prescribed me recently and update.

 

[lily]

Well, my mother's tangent about my sisters and how they treat her, which was vented at me on Christmas Eve didn't help.

Christmas Day just didn't feel as though anyone was happy to be there. It felt tense and awkward. Not that there were any arguments, as would occur in the past. But it felt like one might kick off.

I haven't got the electric violin yet. I still want to get it, but I don't know if I'll get it in the January sale as I'd planned to, since I've got the rent to pay and my mum and I switched to paying it monthly rather than weekly. So, all the money is paid out at once, as opposed to before when I was paying it every week and had to make sure there was still enough left for the next week's grocery shopping.

Thanks. I've been meaning to get back to the gym, but never really found the time to last year what with being focused on other things - like getting my music setup sorted out and taking care of my mum.

Sorry to hear that you've been struggling with depression, lately. But it's good that you've been doing things as part of one of your New Year resolutions to help deal with that. Like, I've just been keeping focused on and working towards my goals as a way of keeping my mind busy to keep from getting too depressed.

I guess it's just getting over the nerves and anxiety of playing music in front of people. That's my main obstacle since, either, my social anxiety mindset of: "They're judging me negatively" kicks in. Or, my nerves will impact my playing and I'll make mistakes - not that that's bad (making mistakes), it's just I'll be more critical of myself as a result. Since I already tend to be that way when it comes to my guitar playing, anyway.

My own worst enemy, I know...

Your perspective on the whole idea of busking is right, and the best way to look at it. Not that I would make it just about me, anyway, it's about me when I'm making the music. Once I put my music out there, whether it's uploading it to the internet or busking, it becomes about other people and whether they like or connect with it. And if they don't... I'm fine with that too.

It's just get over the whole thing of...
My mind: "So, we're doing this?"
Me: "Yeah, we're doing this"
My mind: "Wait, what?! You're sure?"
Me: "Yep!"
My mind: "Oh no! Can't do it! Nope! Can't do it! I'm freaking out!"
Me: "Nope! I'm out. Can't do it!"

And, sure, throwing me way out of my comfort zone is one way to help me deal with my social anxiety.

Though, to answer your question: "What are the chances of people disliking my music, anyway?" I'd say that's pretty slim since I haven't had any negative reaction to what I've uploaded to SoundCloud; as of yet, anyway. Plus, I didn't get any negativity when I shared some of my early recordings on this forum and asked for honest feedback. This took me aback since I was expecting at least some constructive criticism, given that it was late 2017 - around November - and I'd just started making and recording music in my bedroom back in April of that same year. No prior knowledge or experience when it came to the recording side of music and everything that entailed.

I see. I hope you get your electric violin some time one day and overcome your fears. I also hope you succeed in your goal in going to the gym. Since God is the source, all in all in some way, a lot of your success in going to come from having a relationship with God. God is faithful to His children and followers. If you read the whole bible this year and you can ask me questions and stuff and as I have more of a background than you, it would be such an amazing goal to have achieved. Emmanuel meaning "God With Us". God bless.