How to win friends & influence ppl Blog

[Hero]

Hello curious folk who clicked here

I've decided to write a blog based on me acting on the ideas of 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' written by Dale Carnegie. I want to find out if the principles he wrote (such as don't criticise; always say people's names etc) in 1936 are still relevant 75 years later.

I have little friends, and I find it very hard to deal with people, it will be interesting if his techniques work. So in each post, I will explain with you what happened when I follow his advice, and put into practice the techniques. I will be one chapter's ideas per post. I will be interesting to see how the people I meet will react.

Watch this space

to those who are interested in the book: http://pathologydocs.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people.pdf

 

[Niteowl]

Many thanks for the link Hero - I'll have a read of it for sure. I've had a quick look it, pausing here and there to read a paragraph, and it looks as though it has quite a bit to offer. I'm interested in your blog too - I'm excited to see what you have to say. Keep us updated! : )

 

[Hero]

Chapter 1: Part 1

Today I tried out Carnegie's first principle

"Don't criticise, condemn or complain."

And I learnt that if you ignore this, there will be consequences!

I found this task very easy. I avoid being negative, I feel that will be put off potential friendships. I don't have the heart to criticise people. It's scary and I fear it will lead to contempt and hate toward me.
Carnegie said that 'criticising is futile as it make the other try to justify themselves, and that you need to understand the other person's point of view.'
I find it's easy to complain about the weather and other things, I resisted the temptation. I don't do it to be negative; it's actually to start conversation. The way people do react to my talking usually, maybe I do speak negatively?
Personally, I think his law is valid, but not as you expect. He’s right about being not criticising others. I thought I didn’t but I do. Just not to people’s faces. I tend to bitch, but it’s not for no reason, it’s because the person in question has upset me.
It was the staff social that night, and one of the managers, Laura was going. She never spoke a word to me, and is happy and jolly around everyone else. I told Sue, a colleague, that I didn’t like Laura because of the way she acted around me, and she agreed. Then Sue told someone else! Another colleague she told asked ‘are you going because you don’t like Laura?’ and I’m thinking ‘Oh God who else has Sue told?. Has it got back to Laura? Its already bad enough between us. I was so worried about awkwardness I didn't attend the social situation. So I learnt my lesson. Don't condemn others, as it may bite you in the ass!

Carnegie’s principle was right, 75 years later. Although I don’t criticise to the person’s face, criticising about them to someone else is equally as bad.