how to unfuck yourself
- Thread starter Anonymous
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LilMissTragic
Well-known member
step two...stop feeling sorry for yourselves???....perhaps???....lmao
LilMissTragic
Well-known member
Step five) Sit in a darkened room, rocking back and fourth chanting 'I'm not a socialphobe, I'm not a Socialphobe....
Ok ok, That isn't really step five.
The REAL Step five) Dont take other people so seriously!
Ok ok, That isn't really step five.
The REAL Step five) Dont take other people so seriously!
steve111
Active member
The goal is not to get rid of anxiety, for it is normal - it is part of being human. Anxiety helps ready us for action and is there for our survival. The aim is to understand why it has become so strong, change what it means to us and know how to reduce it and prevent it spiralling out of control.
However, when we have low self-esteem, anxiety and panic disorders, phobias, OCD and depression we believe that to have any anxiety is not right and associate the first sign of it with deeper meanings ... this is what makes it so strong.
If ten thousand people say you are good and you believe that you are bad ... you will feel bad about yourself. Conversely if ten thousand people say you are bad and you believe that you are good ... you will feel good about yourself.
To change beliefs, we have to understand how and why they developed. We have to understand our experiences, the people involved and more importantly, the conclusions we drew about our role in them, for it's not the experiences themselves that do the lasting damage, it's what we make of them. We have to understand how we learnt to think and behave because of our experiences.
Our individual personalities probably develop from a mixture of genetic make up, experiences and learning.
As such, how we behave depends on the knowledge that we gain from past experience (derived from situational clues, knowledge at that time, assumptions and reasoning) and how and why we apply this to present situations.
Differences in, and complex interactions between, the above factors give rise to our individuality. We are all different, and yet, in one sense we are all the same.
We all have similar body structures, we all have similar mind structures, we all have the same five senses and we all receive and process information through these senses and structures in a similar manner.
Therefore, it is not surprising that we all tend to deal with certain situations in roughly the same way.
Problems involving anxiety and panic, obsessions, compulsions and despair work in basically the same way and reflect the ways that our mind and body have evolved to deal with 'bad' experiences. Given your genetic make up, your past experiences, the knowledge you had in the past and the knowledge you have now ... your mind and body are working PERFECTLY.
However they are not working APPROPRIATELY
Our mind and body are so interlinked that in some ways it is difficult to distinguish between them; thoughts generate feelings and feelings generate thoughts. Anxiety leads to tension but also tension leads to anxiety.
Many people with long-term anxiety and depression problems exist in a higher than average state of tension and a tense body is already making associations with anxiety, 'prepared' to spark off a worrying thought or image and start the ball rolling towards the panic, phobia, OCD, despair.
Insight and understanding are essential to overcoming anxiety problems. However, from shyness to depression, something else is equally important ... changing behaviour. We can't just think our way out of these problems - to change behaviour we have to do the behaviour ( it isn't possible to learn to ride a bike just by thinking about it! )
Changing behaviour alone will not help if we still feel bad about ourselves or still have unanswered questions about the problem. Any force over which we have little understanding and even less control will always hold power over us, for it is unpredictable and could harm us and as such remains frightening.
Therefore: successfully overcoming anxiety disorders requires BOTH insight and behaviour change
We have to:
Understand the problem (how it developed and it's effects) to such an extent that the search for reasons and answers can be given up
Reduce the automatic negative thoughts, images and behaviours
Develop more positive beliefs and behaviours
However, when we have low self-esteem, anxiety and panic disorders, phobias, OCD and depression we believe that to have any anxiety is not right and associate the first sign of it with deeper meanings ... this is what makes it so strong.
If ten thousand people say you are good and you believe that you are bad ... you will feel bad about yourself. Conversely if ten thousand people say you are bad and you believe that you are good ... you will feel good about yourself.
To change beliefs, we have to understand how and why they developed. We have to understand our experiences, the people involved and more importantly, the conclusions we drew about our role in them, for it's not the experiences themselves that do the lasting damage, it's what we make of them. We have to understand how we learnt to think and behave because of our experiences.
Our individual personalities probably develop from a mixture of genetic make up, experiences and learning.
As such, how we behave depends on the knowledge that we gain from past experience (derived from situational clues, knowledge at that time, assumptions and reasoning) and how and why we apply this to present situations.
Differences in, and complex interactions between, the above factors give rise to our individuality. We are all different, and yet, in one sense we are all the same.
We all have similar body structures, we all have similar mind structures, we all have the same five senses and we all receive and process information through these senses and structures in a similar manner.
Therefore, it is not surprising that we all tend to deal with certain situations in roughly the same way.
Problems involving anxiety and panic, obsessions, compulsions and despair work in basically the same way and reflect the ways that our mind and body have evolved to deal with 'bad' experiences. Given your genetic make up, your past experiences, the knowledge you had in the past and the knowledge you have now ... your mind and body are working PERFECTLY.
However they are not working APPROPRIATELY
Our mind and body are so interlinked that in some ways it is difficult to distinguish between them; thoughts generate feelings and feelings generate thoughts. Anxiety leads to tension but also tension leads to anxiety.
Many people with long-term anxiety and depression problems exist in a higher than average state of tension and a tense body is already making associations with anxiety, 'prepared' to spark off a worrying thought or image and start the ball rolling towards the panic, phobia, OCD, despair.
Insight and understanding are essential to overcoming anxiety problems. However, from shyness to depression, something else is equally important ... changing behaviour. We can't just think our way out of these problems - to change behaviour we have to do the behaviour ( it isn't possible to learn to ride a bike just by thinking about it! )
Changing behaviour alone will not help if we still feel bad about ourselves or still have unanswered questions about the problem. Any force over which we have little understanding and even less control will always hold power over us, for it is unpredictable and could harm us and as such remains frightening.
Therefore: successfully overcoming anxiety disorders requires BOTH insight and behaviour change
We have to:
Understand the problem (how it developed and it's effects) to such an extent that the search for reasons and answers can be given up
Reduce the automatic negative thoughts, images and behaviours
Develop more positive beliefs and behaviours
LilMissTragic
Well-known member
FFS can we have no fun without someone coming in and being overly serious??????
Steve, ya were just meant to add the next step....Pfft!!!....lmao
Steve, ya were just meant to add the next step....Pfft!!!....lmao
LilMissTragic
Well-known member
oh and by the way steve....can you stop repeating yourself so much, you might want to go and look at some other sites to get more info to bore us with!!!
Ohh well look at that, my mean streak just rose
..My last therpaist told me i need to show my anger more often...lmao
Ohh well look at that, my mean streak just rose
..My last therpaist told me i need to show my anger more often...lmao
LilMissTragic
Well-known member
Step 10) Remember even the most confident people have insecurities.
and steve, we dont mean to whinge at ya, we are just trying to inject some fun into this place.
and steve, we dont mean to whinge at ya, we are just trying to inject some fun into this place.
LilMissTragic
Well-known member
Steve, dont take it so personally, its just that most of us who have had SP for years have come across every cure and helpful info in the book...
Anyways, have a nice day
Oh yeh, and that other post was mine too, i forgot to sing in...ohhh my memory aint what is was...lol...i sound like my gran...lol
Anyways, have a nice day
Oh yeh, and that other post was mine too, i forgot to sing in...ohhh my memory aint what is was...lol...i sound like my gran...lol
Anonymous
Well-known member
Steve111, please don't take offense at the local smartasses. You make a valuable contribution here. Some folks get snarky when they're depressed. Plus, just because one person may have read similar stuff over and over in self-help books and the like, doesn't mean that another won't read it for the first time in your posts and have a 'eureka!' moment.
I'm often not above being a smartass myself... be warned! LOL
Plus, just because one person may have read similar stuff over and over in self-help books and the like, doesn't mean that another won't read it for the first time in your posts and have a 'eureka!' moment. I'm often not above being a smartass myself... be warned! LOL
wistful_dementia
Well-known member
11) learn how to avoid protruding objects
12) take time every day to do everything backwards while saying: "vibrator my away throw to need I" Just kidding really!
13) seriously, learn how to laugh at yourself!
14) try to decipher when people are being playful or when they are being serious (gawd, I can take more lessons on that one myself)
12) take time every day to do everything backwards while saying: "vibrator my away throw to need I" Just kidding really!
13) seriously, learn how to laugh at yourself!
14) try to decipher when people are being playful or when they are being serious (gawd, I can take more lessons on that one myself)