how to talk to girls, how to get romance?

[JonnyD]

i'm doing therapy for more then one year , i evolved in every single aspect except one, the opposite sex. i can now speak to most people in daily activities, like working or buying stuff.

My problem now is about women and my personal life in general, it's so hard to talk to women, i can manage to speak to them when i'm in the bank or if i'm at work, but its impossible to me to speak with in any other situation.

everytime i girl sit by my side in the bus its almost like i will shake so much my bones will fall off - and its just a random girl, that i have the tinyest tiny possibility of becoming friends or anything else - even if i don't want to talk to her i feel like i'm going to explode just because she's by myside.

It's holding my life back, now that i have the courage to do most things, its like these things are being pulled down by a big anchor in the shape of a heart.

i don't feel that i'm attractive, i'm overweight - even throught i'm not obese - , i don't think i'm beautiful ... but in the other hand i'm normal looking, i'm inteligent, understanding, caring , well manered and a lot of other things not so easy to see - i just know it's not about women, it's about me, you know why - i've seen so much ugly, stupid , poor, uneducated men have "normal" relationships.

i'm not setting the bar to high also, if i do i must be living in a town full of tv movie actress and top models - because i've met several girls i wished to be with, and i think everyone of them are pretty in one way or another... and i'm talking about the women i actually spoke with - and i can't speak with them unless i'm forced too (job, studyng , buying stuff).

I know i have to try, but i just don't know why it's so hard to do it, its hard even to admit i want it, i know i have to speak with women to find a relationship , but when i have the oportunitty i just can't do it - i freeze, i panic, i have nothing to say and don't know what to say. its so hard to explain...

I know several people here have the same problem as me, and i know that many people here have overcame this or even many SA sufferers that have problems in getting a job , but have relationships.

I'm hopping somebody out there can set a light to me, so i can find a way.

 

[philly2bits]

Congrats on making progress.

I know it might be hard, but it may help if you could change how you see women. Instead of seeing them as a possible friend or anything else, try and see them all as you do when you are buying things or at work. Basically try to see them as a generic person, with no possible chance at any kind of relationship. Without that expectation, breaking the ice and making small talk will be alot easier.