How to stop automatically thinking the worst?

[superario]

Hello all! I am quite new to this site and this is my first posting, so I just want to introduce myself. You can call me Ari. I'm an 18 year old girl from California who has been dealing with OCD since I can remember. (When I think back, it all makes sense why I was so weird when I was little). I had suspisions I had it since middle school but didn't tell my mother it was bothering me until about either last year or late the year before (I can't remember). She took me to the therapist and they wanted to put me on medication but my mother protested in fear that "anti anxiety/depressants can increase suicidal thoughts in teenagers". Also was going to attend some group meetings but we just never went back. Regardless, I have been dealing with all this on my own terms and it now seems my mother has tried to forget about it. I feel like an outcast. I'm a bit of an introvert and also my OCD makes me really socially awkward and I feel like nobody understands me. I'm glad I've found a place where there are people like me who can relate. ::

One of the problems I face most of all is constant disturbing thoughts. Like, I can't get them out of my head. Somehow, no matter what it is I'm doing, in the end I always find myself thinking of innappropriate things that I don't want to think about. Like take for instance...I text someone and didn't get a text back. Instead of just assuming that they're busy and can't get to the phone right now, I find myself almost fantasizing that they've gotten into an accident or something tragic has happened to them. It's very detailed a lot of the time, too. I'll begin to think about their last moments, or usually I just end up thinking how this will all affect me in the end. I suppose part of me is always worried that I'm going to lose the people around me, whether because it was my fault or not. I always imagine their funeral, how my reactions will be, if I will be sad and withdrawn and how people will look at me knowing that I've just lost a friend. I think about my life after their death and then when I realize I've been doing this for minutes on, I want to smack myself for ever thinking such a thing.

I just can't help it, I don't mean to do it but it happens. I sometimes think about things while the person is in front of me and sometimes I worry I'm thinking so hard that I've said something aloud and people are aware of what I'm fantasizing about. It scares me. I want to stop being so...mobird, but I don't know how. I know unwanted thoughts is something common in a lot of people with OCD.

Can anyone else who deals with this kind of thing please shed some light on what they did to keep it under (somewhat) control, or give any advice on what to do? Usually I try to think about something else but it's hard to just give up on those things when it's not my fault.

Please help!!! ::

 

[Bittersweet]

Hi Ari, and welcome to the forum!

I also struggle with OCD and unwanted thoughts. What has worked for me is to learn Cognitive Behavior Therapy techniques.

The techniques show you how to analyze your thoughts and learn how to identify when they are unrealistic, illogical or unhealthy.

These techniques don't relieve the thoughts entirely; probably only medication can do that, but it is a very helpful way to learn to look at your thoughts objectively and put them into perspective.

The feeling good handbook [Book]

This is the book I used to help me work on CBT.

 

[superario]

Thanks for the response, Bittersweet!

I will look into that.

 

[pebblesdundee]

Hi, and welcome to the site

 

[superario]

Thanks ::

 

[BloodFury]

Welcome!

I do this a good bit. Such as, my wrist will be aching, I will automatically start thinking that I have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome or I got bit by a spider. Rather than it being a cramp in my wrist.

I do the same thing for someone being away for too long, I will suspect they have been in a car wreck and died.

 

[superario]

It's quite irritating, isn't it?

Just today I started to get an ache in my arm. Sometimes limbs hurt, but I was thinking about it being something more serious like a blood cot or something else completely serious. It's scary because you know that people are just fine one minute and think nothing of the day, and then can end up in the hospital or even dead. So that was scary.

But the pain went away and I told myself to stop being so stupid.

 

[BloodFury]

It's quite irritating, isn't it?

Just today I started to get an ache in my arm. Sometimes limbs hurt, but I was thinking about it being something more serious like a blood cot or something else completely serious. It's scary because you know that people are just fine one minute and think nothing of the day, and then can end up in the hospital or even dead. So that was scary.

But the pain went away and I told myself to stop being so stupid.

Yep, you sound about like me. Haha. I remember having a sensitive spot on my forearm, I thought I had nerve damage...


I'm actually not even sure if I am OCD or not, but I have a few symptoms of it. If I do, it's mild.

I actually think this is something with being a Hypochondriac. Are you a hypochondriac?

I scored a 17. Give or take 1 point, I am not too great at answering questions.
OCD Screening Test/

I am a germaphobe, sometimes I take the Germ-X and clean the Germ-X bottle with it... people look at me like I am an idiot.


P.S: I just noticed everyone is adding spaces between each topic.

 

[superario]

Yep, you sound about like me. Haha. I remember having a sensitive spot on my forearm, I thought I had nerve damage...


I'm actually not even sure if I am OCD or not, but I have a few symptoms of it. If I do, it's mild.

I actually think this is something with being a Hypochondriac. Are you a hypochondriac?

I scored a 17. Give or take 1 point, I am not too great at answering questions.
OCD Screening Test/

I am a germaphobe, sometimes I take the Germ-X and clean the Germ-X bottle with it... people look at me like I am an idiot.


P.S: I just noticed everyone is adding spaces between each topic.

Yes, I'm a bit of a hypochondriac myself. Either I am over dramatic when I hurt myself (thinking I've sprained or broken a bone when I've merely 'bumped' it against something) or convincing myself that I had a heart condition (you know how anxiety can give you palpitations, and such) to even thinking that I had Asperger's ! So yes. I would say I am quite the hypochondriac

It's the available information on the internet that feeds hypochondriacs. We just taaaake it all in like it's a big ole slice of pie.

I've taken the test and another test online numerous times and usually score about 29, which is quite high I believe! I just took it again right now and sure I could be off by a few questions, like you said, but I scored 29.

And I have STRANGE habits about germs. I'm not a germaphobe about everything but today when I had to take out the trash from the bathrooms I was wearing gloves and still freaking out.

 

[superario]

And what do you mean 'spaces between topics'?

 

[IGotSeoul]

And what do you mean 'spaces between topics'?

spacing.

kind of like this.

I get in my moods.

and do it pretty often myself.

even going as far as making sure each line is longer than the next.

 

[superario]

spacing.

kind of like this.

I get in my moods.

and do it pretty often myself.

even going as far as making sure each line is longer than the next.

Oh, that.

And here I was thinking it was something more complicated.

 

[superario]

When something happens and I start to think the worst I will (1) remind myself how many times in the past these thoughts have been wrong; (2) give it a percentage for the probability of it happening, which is usually tiny; (3) then focus only on the % for the probability that all is ok - which is huge.

That's some sound advice there, Phocas. I think I'll use that. Thanks.

 

[BloodFury]

Like Bittersweet, he types a mini paragraph then spaces. I do the same. Haha

EDIT: I didn't know there was a 2nd page to this...

 

[BloodFury]

Hey everyone, =)

Wow, now that I think about it I've always had intrusive thoughts I guess. I thought that was more of a recent thing I never really associated this with OCD. When I was about 9 I remember I used to sit on my sofa downstairs with a telephone just waiting for my parents or a hospital to call me, because I was positive they'd just gotten into a car wreck and/or died. I'd see the car wreck play out over and over in my head til I started believing it actually happened, and I do what you do I play through the funeral and how I'd respond and I feel the emotions I'd feel. (and as if they really died I'd start crying)

I still think about people I know dying because that's one of my biggest fears and will play their funerals before I go to sleep usually.

I also now find my self obsessing about my boyfriend and our relationship and that's he's going to cheat on me or fall in love with another girl. Even though he has never done anything to ever hurt me in the past and I know he loves me.

It's all so miserable.

You have quite a vivid imagination! I am horrible at trying to imagine things, but sometimes they just flow right through....

Usually at night when I am trying to go to sleep or if I am at home late alone, I will start to think if someone broke in. Luckily I have guns in the house, so it changes the story. Usually I will see two people break into my house, I will see them from my room and shoot one. The other one hears the gun shot and tries to run past me, but I shoot him to. The first one I shot was killed, but the other one was barely still alive since I shot him in the back.

Sometimes my thoughts are going against me and I lose the fight, so they'll torture me. ::

 

[Blabla..]

Hi,

We can't stop thinking , however we can stop multiplying our thoughts by shifting our attention away . But you will realize its very hard to keep your attention away from your thoughts , it always seems to go back to it .

That is why meditation (or the practice of concentration) is the best way to gain control over your mind . As one would lift weights to get a healthy body , one should meditate to have a healthy mind .

Think of a weak mind as a wild monkey , it wont listen to you and it wont stop jumping around , but as soon as you start to tame it , you start gaining control .

I had a good friend who had severe OCD , he managed to get rid of it almost completely by learning to let go , some aggressive thoughts would come to his mind and he learned not to react to them , to simply observe them objectively , and not react . They would almost instantly get dissolved and pass away .

You are not your thoughts !

Good luck.

 

[BloodFury]

Haha Thanks. I actually don't usually have a good imagination (at least not when I want too! lol) I think it's just very similar to what you've said. I do that same thing and the thoughts just happen and I can't turn them off or change the out come. It's horrible and realistic, and I'm really sorry you've got that too. It's definitely not fun. =(

I think it changes the outcome if you have a gun.

Such as having a gun near you or having a security system, which I don't have the security system because it's expensive.