How to move on/ closure

[da_illest101]

There has been something that has been eating me for the past 2 months and I would like some opinion or help on the situation

So yea about two months ago I stopped talking to my former best female friend over some drama that happened between us. To make a long story short: I liked her and always wanted the opportunity to try to be more then friends but she had a bf. At first it wasn't bad at all but as the years past I became jealous. It would have never been this bad if she didn't act like she wanted me too.

anyhow she break and make up with her bf. When anyone ask if she loves him she only say she is comfortable with him. So somewhere in november she came very strong at me (very strong) and I had all the hope in the world something was going to happen. well she disappear the 2 weeks after she talks to me normally and told me she got back with her bf. well obviously I didn't take it very well and stop talking to her all together.


fast forwarding to right now I'm still upset, to the point people are asking me if i'm ok all the time. I tried to forgive her many times but to no avail. I even left her a message today to know how she is doing but 5 mins after I regret my decision and I don't think i will reply when she does. So yea I want any type of closure I'm tired of thinking about this all day everyday I want to move on. with time it goes worse, even when I'm distracting myself I'm thinking about it. I tried moving on to other girls but It never ends up well, or I coward my way out

To be honest I think that if I forgive her and we restart talking that it will end bad or even worse then right now

Sorry for the long read, I think I manage to put enough of the essential in it the whole thing would have been horrible to read or to write.

 

[Waybuloo]

Without knowing her side of the story and any more details, I can only assume, from what you've written, that she really doesn't care about you. With your current infatuation it'll just end in a vicious circle if you talk to her again. I think she was using you, and your love for her, as an ego boost and a source of company. If a girl really likes aguy, believe me she wouldn't be behaving like that.

As to how to forget about her, it takes time, that and preoccupation. You have to try as hard as you can to occupy your mind and your hands in other things. And in the future, don't spend more time with girls whom you have feelings for and don't reciprocate.

 

[Luxy]

She sounds like she needs help too, but not from you....Im sorry she treated you this way..ive been in a similar situation once too..I ended up forgiving the guy..not for him but for myself as that was the only way to heal. But remember just because you forgive, you do not need to talk to her again, if you feel that your feelings are still too strong for her. But also, maybe as I do not know her or her side of the story, you should tell her exactly how you feel and how she has hurt you so much. Then if she was a true friend to you she may apologize and explain herself or she may never talk to you again.
For me I never spoke to the guy again, he has been on my mind but as time goes it is less and less.

I hope it gets better for you, but I still believe to forgive her as you will NEVER heal otherwise. Believe me, I have forgiven some people who have done horrific things to me in my life just so I can go and live as close as I can to a normal life.

 

[da_illest101]

Without knowing her side of the story and any more details, I can only assume, from what you've written, that she really doesn't care about you. With your current infatuation it'll just end in a vicious circle if you talk to her again. I think she was using you, and your love for her, as an ego boost and a source of company. If a girl really likes aguy, believe me she wouldn't be behaving like that.

As to how to forget about her, it takes time, that and preoccupation. You have to try as hard as you can to occupy your mind and your hands in other things. And in the future, don't spend more time with girls whom you have feelings for and don't reciprocate.

I wouldn't say she doesn't care about me, since she did a lot for me. But knowing her that ego boost and source of company that you mentioned makes sense. also I didn't have feelings for her from the get go, it happened with times. I will do my best to do other stuff to keep me occupied

 

[da_illest101]

She sounds like she needs help too, but not from you....Im sorry she treated you this way..ive been in a similar situation once too..I ended up forgiving the guy..not for him but for myself as that was the only way to heal. But remember just because you forgive, you do not need to talk to her again, if you feel that your feelings are still too strong for her. But also, maybe as I do not know her or her side of the story, you should tell her exactly how you feel and how she has hurt you so much. Then if she was a true friend to you she may apologize and explain herself or she may never talk to you again.
For me I never spoke to the guy again, he has been on my mind but as time goes it is less and less.

I hope it gets better for you, but I still believe to forgive her as you will NEVER heal otherwise. Believe me, I have forgiven some people who have done horrific things to me in my life just so I can go and live as close as I can to a normal life.

her cousin told me to do the same thing. If I don't forgive her my hatred will never die. I don't think at this point an apology will matter much at this time. I remember then when the last time we spoke she wanted me to past my frustration on her, all i did was decline and gave the silence treatment