How to make friends?

[Falcon]

It's been making me depressed lately, I am 27, and I dont have any friends, and I've never had a girlfriend or been on a date. I used to have some friends in high school, but I mostly just tagged along. In college I kept to my self mainly, I had a few people I knew but I never did anything with them, just saw them in class. Now Im wishing that I had some friends, but I dont know how to make them? I get so uncomfortable talking to people, or riding in someone elses car. And honestly, talking to people for more than a few min makes me really tired. Mostly I just stay at home when Im not working. But Im getting bored of this, I feel like I am missing out, like I have wasted my life. Do you have any advice for me?

 

[JeSs42790]

Unfortunately hun, a lot of us feel like you, but the good thing is, that there are ways to make friends, and still be comfortable, well perhaps comfortable isn't the right word to use, but without so much strain and effort. Sometimes, what helps me, is to have a "safety", or someone to pick up lagging conversations, and take-over when they see us faltering. It could be a family member, anyone. I guess just starting a little at a time is best, kinda like testing the water, before you dive in. But never be ashamed that you "can't" stay, or talk long, just understand your limits, and work to situate life around them, instead of trying to change them. Friends, relationships, and all the "fun" stuff in life will come in its own time.

-Jessie

 

[Septor]

I wish I could help you but i'm as bad as you.You have to just try.

 

[Richey]

Just wanted to say that Falcon you are not alone and you are still young. There is that saying "Your only as young as you feel". Im 21 and have had short term relationships with girls that have ended in disaster. All i can say is that you will meet a girl when you least expect it that will be interested in you. Trust me.
Also focussing on activities you like is a distraction away from your own problems so remember that even if you havn't hade much luck so far just keep looking ahead.

 

[Frozen_tears]

Hi Falcon! I think you should just start slowly talking to a few people at first. You could try calling some old friends to catch up, and meet them in a familiar place so you dont feel too uncomfortable.

 

[blight]

Hey Falcon,

I am around your age too and it is a lot different and harder at this age to make friends than it used to be when we were in school. I think almost everybody meets people through mutual friends and gradually widens their circle that way. What about people who have no friends to start with though? I'm in the same situation basically, but here are the main ideas I can think of:

• join an Internet dating site. I find this easier than going up to people directly and meeting them.

• if you have a hobby or any sort of interest in something like music or religion go to gatherings or events for those types of things

• i go to coffee shops to read, etc and often see other people strike up conversations with random people

• contact an old friend in your area if only to meet some of their current friends

 

[Falcon]

I guess I dont have any hobbies either, really. Maybe I should make some. Still, even if I meet people, it's so hard to make conversation and things. It makes me physically tired. Ahhh, I feel like I am complaining too much. But I don't know what to do.

 

[Hurricane]

I have no friends either, I go to university everyday and I have not met anyone...it's quite troublesome

 

[Jesushasomeoneforme]

It's been making me depressed lately, I am 27, and I dont have any friends, and I've never had a girlfriend or been on a date. I used to have some friends in high school, but I mostly just tagged along. In college I kept to my self mainly, I had a few people I knew but I never did anything with them, just saw them in class. Now Im wishing that I had some friends, but I dont know how to make them? I get so uncomfortable talking to people, or riding in someone elses car. And honestly, talking to people for more than a few min makes me really tired. Mostly I just stay at home when Im not working. But Im getting bored of this, I feel like I am missing out, like I have wasted my life. Do you have any advice for me?

I would like to be your friend. Wanna try?

 

[zlench]

Probably by going out and speaking to people.

 

[Fighter86]

Mostly I just stay at home when Im not working. But Im getting bored of this, I feel like I am missing out, like I have wasted my life. Do you have any advice for me?

I'm just curious, what do you do when you stay at home during weekends when you do not work? I am in the same situation as you, and I sleep alot, and just surf the net in general, but I do feel quite sluggish. Also, do people at work ask what you are up to during the weekends?

 

[Mikefly]

I wouldn't worry about too much just don't force it and do what comes natural. Put an effort forth to talk to a new person everyday and see what happens, just keep practicing.