How often do you go out?

[Lotrsfan]

i never go out to parties or nightclubs, I've seen nightclubs when i come out of the cinema at nighttime, and walked past them and you can hear all different conversations and loud music, but i haven't actually been IN one, i hopefully i don't really plan to, they freak me out. When i walk past one, i tense up and can't wait to get past it, or get past people who are coming out of one, laughing loudly, obviously drunk i suppose coz i'm frightened they'll shout something at me, and i'd have to respond or ignore them but still it's not very nice to be started at by strangers coming out of a nightclub. And pubs, i've been in one to help my dad carry some drinks outside, but luckily it was quiet. But i haven't been to those noisy packed ones. I want to go to a pub to be normal, so i suggested to my dad that i want to go to a pub one day and actually sit in one, and have a couple of drinks with my parents. But i has to be a quiet one, not one where you can see people getting drunk coz otherwise i'd feel uncomfortable.

 

[insomniac]

i never go out, except to go to work or to visit my parents and my sister. when im in social places(even at work)im completely overcome with panic, and i just freak out , and kinda go numb to everything, and my mind just goes blank(with the exception of the thought , that i just wanna get the hell out of here).

 

[Reholla]

I know what you mean Rainman when I go out in social situations I feel like a vegetable theres to much going on that im not used to. It almost feels like im not there its weird.

totally agree with this. Only till recently have I figured out why this kind of "fuzzy in the head" feeling happens.

From my psych class and a book im reading, I learned, as most of us know, that anxiety makes our autonomic nervous system turn on. A part in your body ( i forget which) secretes adrenaline, and causes a HUGE chain reaction like process to happen. This is how pretty much every symptom of anxiety is started. Your autonomic nervous system is the same one thats switched on when say back in the day cave men ran away from a bear. Similar symptoms like a "tense and jittery" feeling overcomes you, racing heart, stomach butterflies, urge to go to the bathroom.

So after your continually tense like this, and your nervous system is running on overdrive, your body's response is to kind of "shut off." Thats why you get the "fuzzy in the head", and vegetable like feeling. This is actually a GOOD thing. This is your body's way of protecting itself. After your body has those anxiety symptoms for long amounts of time the only 2 options it has are to have a panic attack...OR recoop., which gives you that "not there" type feeling.

Knowing this reassured me I wasn't going crazy! When I would feel this way, I would feel like incompetent and beweildered. But theres no reason to. Just know your body's recovering, and its a GOOD thing.
You might not want to be in a social situation after you realize this is happening, and thats ok.

 

[lily]

but one thing you have to remember is that these extroverted people(by the way introverted people do as well, i know, it depends on comfort levels) who attend the clubs every week are no better than you at all, and in fact the statistics of introverts/extroverts are around the 50/50 mark, i challenge everyone here to go to localised clubs/bars/pub, whatever on your own or with friends and order a drink and just focus on the fact that really you are the same person as you are at home with your family and that potentially there is a good chance that you will meet someone on your level, and not going to these clubs doesnt make you a bad person at all, its just a recreation and if you dont drink then its kind of pointless anyways, am i wrong? you can meet people anywhere its just that the "pub" is the socially acceptable way of doing it in most peoples eyes, but it doesn't mean that its the right way, dont feel that you have to buckle under the pressure of other peoples expectations of yourself, i asked my sister about clubbing the other night and i asked her what is it that makes it such a "must do" action, she said that she has changed her tune and that she prefers having friends over or just visiting an art gallery, i was "shocked" she went on to say that she didnt like the music and that she only went because all her other friends were there but now she's seeking other interests and has a different attitude to it,

TBC, i have to go but ill add to this later on

I don't think they feel like they're a bad person, SA ppl likely are only insecure.

And I wouldn't want to get to know others in a bar/club. I could predict what type of person they usually are, superficial and out to play others, or having the attention of the day or to show off to everyone and play dare games. I don't like to drink either, etc even the loudness, everything is a turn-off, there's other more decent places.

 

[alicia_]

i dont really know how i should act and stuff. like...i felt pressure on myself to "party" and have a good time. it just made me freeze up and i couldnt think of things to say to people.

this is pretty much how i feel, i dont mind going out to pubs (though i dont have anyone to go with anymore). The thing i fear most is dancing. I cant let go, im always really tense and when i attempt to dance i just feel so awkward. Ive only tried twice i think. It made me avoid going out coz ppl were always like "come on lets dance"... "why arent you dancing".

who knows maybe this thing they call 'dancing' is just a fad and when it ends my anxiety of going out will too :wink:

 

[2QuietForThem]

It’s been a couple of years since I last went out to a club. It was in Washington DC. I was only there to listen to music and look at women. It appeared that there were a lot of single people there, many just standing around as I was. I could have talked to someone, but I can NOT go up to a stranger and strike a conversation. After a few hours, I became self-conscious and decided to leave. I have to admit that I enjoyed my little outing even though it was uneventful.

 

[Quixote]

I used to have practically no idea of what a club was until recently. I recently (since one year) happened to be inside some of those places a small number of times. I didn't feel too uncomfortable, but I didn't have fun either. I was just standing there, observing people dance, chat, laugh and have fun. I knew I had no chance of behaving in the same way so I didn't even feel worried. I was like a martian standing inside a place where humans gather to socialise.

 

[jayfan]

when i was younger (im 22) like 17-20 i used to go out every weekend with accquaintances i used to have. housepartys and kick backs. ive never been to a bar or club and nowadays i just kick it at home during the weekend. i never go out and havent went out in years. i always feel so pathetic.