How not to accept stimulus's

SoScared

Well-known member
#1
Hello,

I wonder if anybody has any thoughts or insights to help me.

I frequently experience anxiety in similar repetitive situations. I am getting better at handling it by telling myself 'just not to accept' the stimulus. That said I often do experience that frontal forehead pressure that anxiety sufferers often mention and unfortunately do respond to the stimulus .

My question is can anybody give me any tips on how not to accept stimulus's.
 
#2
This sounds simplistic, but what about instead of telling yourself 'i will not accept this stimulus' (which typically is interpreted by subconscious as "accept stimulus"), use the following 'i reject this stimulus' ???
 

SoScared

Well-known member
#3
This sounds simplistic, but what about instead of telling yourself 'i will not accept this stimulus' (which typically is interpreted by subconscious as "accept stimulus"), use the following 'i reject this stimulus' ???
thanks for replying...the idea of rejecting is certainly something that I can try.
Just to add a bit more info to this. My problem is staring at people. I have made good progress via CBT and ERP and there is also another thread on this forum called 'can't stop staring at people' that offers some good advice. However it seems as though the people who post have moved onto a facebook page...and I don't do facebook.

That said, even though I have made progress I still experience anxiety whenever I see somebody coming in front on me. There is no reason for this! I use affirmations such as 'I'm just not interested' i.e not to accept the stimulus which can be very effective but certainly not always. In summary, given the progress that I have made if I don't get anxious I don't stare. So, my more specific question is how can I avoid getting anxios when I see people.
 
#4
I also don't bother with facebook/twitter/etc - don't see any point. It's an ugly Web 2.0 or 3.0 site, WAY too many annoying distractions (pop-ups, little "like" or "bookmark me" buttons all over the place, pages often way too long, pages slow to load, shows links to random strangers i dont even know or care to know, etc, etc)

I always feel uncomfortable when approaching people, or vice-versa. I seem to handle it by doing the opposite to you - i avoid looking at them, esp eye-contact (the way i see it, is that i'm avoiding any further damage, by say, making them feel uncomfortable). So i try to just look straight ahead, as if they are not there, and i try to control my breathing, holding breathe if need .. and in doing all this i tend to also avoid getting more anxious. Do you not find that you get more anxious if you stare at people??

I think affirmations are useful, as long as you can believe them (else they might not work?). Perhaps some other subconscious-reprogramming methods as well, such as audio sublimals?. As i think that almost all of your anxiety stems from the subconscious, which is why we sometimes react instantly to certain things (ie sensory-event --> (bypasses conscious thoughts) --> triggers subconscious belief --> triggers fight/flight response in amygdala).
 

SoScared

Well-known member
#5
I also don't bother with facebook/twitter/etc - don't see any point. It's an ugly Web 2.0 or 3.0 site, WAY too many annoying distractions (pop-ups, little "like" or "bookmark me" buttons all over the place, pages often way too long, pages slow to load, shows links to random strangers i dont even know or care to know, etc, etc)

I always feel uncomfortable when approaching people, or vice-versa. I seem to handle it by doing the opposite to you - i avoid looking at them, esp eye-contact (the way i see it, is that i'm avoiding any further damage, by say, making them feel uncomfortable). So i try to just look straight ahead, as if they are not there, and i try to control my breathing, holding breathe if need .. and in doing all this i tend to also avoid getting more anxious. Do you not find that you get more anxious if you stare at people??

I think affirmations are useful, as long as you can believe them (else they might not work?). Perhaps some other subconscious-reprogramming methods as well, such as audio sublimals?. As i think that almost all of your anxiety stems from the subconscious, which is why we sometimes react instantly to certain things (ie sensory-event --> (bypasses conscious thoughts) --> triggers subconscious belief --> triggers fight/flight response in amygdala).
Hi...yes I would like to'avoid' people and actually do the same as you. These are situations that I do not handle at all well. I think that a get anxious and stare at about the same time I see the stimulus (people). I am not aware of one coming before the other. Its not the act of staring that gets me anxious as such. Its more the reality of passing people and the stress including predictive stress that it seems to cause time and time again....
 
#6
I think that a get anxious and stare at about the same time I see the stimulus (people). I am not aware of one coming before the other. Its not the act of staring that gets me anxious as such. Its more the reality of passing people and the stress including predictive stress that it seems to cause time and time again....
So if staring does not cause anxiety, it must be being aware of their approach and that. Which means :. the anxiety would come before staring.
I can fully relate, as fairly often i'm anticipating the worst (or at least aware that it has a possiblity of hapening), the worst being verbal insults (which i can't handle - it makes me "crazy", angry, victimized, etc .. and at the time there is no way to feel better, so it's "all bad"). Which is mainly why i very seldom go out into the world of people.
 

Feathers

Well-known member
#7
Most people are mostly interested in themselves and their own problems - it helps me to think of it like that...

Also, nobody is perfect, and other people probably all have own problems and imperfections... And if we're passing each other by, they'll soon see something/someone new and think of THAT - it helps me to see it a bit like that too... :)
 

SoScared

Well-known member
#8
So if staring does not cause anxiety, it must be being aware of their approach and that. Which means :. the anxiety would come before staring.
I can fully relate, as fairly often i'm anticipating the worst (or at least aware that it has a possiblity of hapening), the worst being verbal insults (which i can't handle - it makes me "crazy", angry, victimized, etc .. and at the time there is no way to feel better, so it's "all bad"). Which is mainly why i very seldom go out into the world of people.
I go out all the time, probably too much...thanks you are helping my understanding of this along with other posts around the forum.
I am actually seeing a CBT therapist at the moment although I have not seen her for a while. She has been beneficial. I know that on occasions I can wander down the street without staring but only when the street is busy. One on one situations seem imposible and this is where I guess most of the anxiety kicks in hence the reason for the post. Maybe my question now is how to respond/control/manage the anxiety rather that how to control/manage the stimulus which you can't of course because people wil always be around.
 

SoScared

Well-known member
#9
I also don't bother with facebook/twitter/etc - don't see any point. It's an ugly Web 2.0 or 3.0 site, WAY too many annoying distractions (pop-ups, little "like" or "bookmark me" buttons all over the place, pages often way too long, pages slow to load, shows links to random strangers i dont even know or care to know, etc, etc)

I always feel uncomfortable when approaching people, or vice-versa. I seem to handle it by doing the opposite to you - i avoid looking at them, esp eye-contact (the way i see it, is that i'm avoiding any further damage, by say, making them feel uncomfortable). So i try to just look straight ahead, as if they are not there, and i try to control my breathing, holding breathe if need .. and in doing all this i tend to also avoid getting more anxious. Do you not find that you get more anxious if you stare at people??

I think affirmations are useful, as long as you can believe them (else they might not work?). Perhaps some other subconscious-reprogramming methods as well, such as audio sublimals?. As i think that almost all of your anxiety stems from the subconscious, which is why we sometimes react instantly to certain things (ie sensory-event --> (bypasses conscious thoughts) --> triggers subconscious belief --> triggers fight/flight response in amygdala).
just went out testing the affirmation 'i reject the stimulus'. Seemed quite effective. Its strong and I can believe in it. Also tried holding my breath as I passed people. Again some success......thanks
 

SoScared

Well-known member
#10
So if staring does not cause anxiety, it must be being aware of their approach and that. Which means :. the anxiety would come before staring.
I can fully relate, as fairly often i'm anticipating the worst (or at least aware that it has a possiblity of hapening), the worst being verbal insults (which i can't handle - it makes me "crazy", angry, victimized, etc .. and at the time there is no way to feel better, so it's "all bad"). Which is mainly why i very seldom go out into the world of people.
does it have to be 'all bad'? Seems as though you have a strategy that works for you.
 
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