how many here have ocd also?
- Thread starter Isawthelight
- Start date
Tryin
Well-known member
paul - i'm sorry but i couldn't restrain myself from posting you this reply. if your doctor says you don't have social phobia, it is probably true. i think you should stop thinking about it so much and watching yourself all the time. some time ago i was pretty much like what you seem to be according to your post - thinking about my problems, whether it's not mental illness, what's the hell up with me etc. all the time. but now i rather concentrate on other things - and my problems now doesn't seem to be that big at all.paul said:I was diagnosed with OCD but not with SA. However, I am quite sure I have it due to I can relate exactly to 90% of the symptoms.
My OCD is more about keeping things very organized (handwriting, I actually spend time trying to make it look like computer type). Books need to be alphabetical by category as do computer games....and, well, everything else. I feel physically uncomfortable when things are messy. I also have a little compulsiveness about grades, I like ... need to get 100s on everything, otherwise it irritates me and disturbs everythinhg. It's kind of strange because I would usually yell at people for being disorganized but with SA that is extremely hard to doI just complain in my mind.
I also have OCD about some appearance things that I won't get into and washing hands -- sometimes I wash my hands 40-50 times a day
paul - i'm sorry but i couldn't restrain myself from posting you this reply. if your doctor says you don't have social phobia, it is probably true. i think you should stop thinking about it so much and watching yourself all the time. some time ago i was pretty much like what you seem to be according to your post - thinking about my problems, whether it's not mental illness, what's the hell up with me etc. all the time. but now i rather concentrate on other things - and my problems now doesn't seem to be that big at all.
Hey I have that exact same thing
Tryin
Well-known member
Sable said:
ok, i am sorry - not for what i've written but for posting it in here. i was just much angry when writing it (mostly with myself).
i apologize to everyone. now i realize that everything i've written in my post was actually what i wanted to say to MYSELF. thank you for your reply, Sable, and sorry once again.
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Re: i belive i have OCD.
QUote: HAve you ever fought something you cant see? have you ever fought a war but its you youre fighting? i still am now. these recycling thoughts keep coming. its like my mind hits rewind, play rewind and play again and again! i cant even read, and at work i stop myself and think about people touching me. iv had thoughts soo vivet that i thought i dreamt them. only the next night i actually have nightmares of hands all around me trying to touch me. its not like ill get germs from them its just im fearful that the touch its self will hurt me like a bee sting or that it will just hurt soo bad and be painful. when ever i think about it my hands get sweaty and my heart pounds. at first my mom said its a phaze but iv had this thing since i was 16, im 20 now. the only thing now that helps me is listing to music. it hepls me to focus myslelf. i was told thred be hope like medication to help me. im also dealing with ADD, a learning disability in math and im adopted from Colombia. i can understand how you are feeling dealing like with a shitty deck or something.. one day before i went into work, before dropping me off, my mom put her hand on my back. i yelled at her NOOOOO! she didnt know wat was wrong. i went into work and had a mental breakdown. that day i called my therapist and she said it sounds lika a case of OCD. wen she hung up the phone, i broke down and cried. how can i deal with this new "monster"? i looked up fear of touch and it brought me right away to OCD. all my symtoms were there. it would come like in waves where i felt ok to touch some one. but that was years ago. but now its gotten so bad that i cant stand to touch anyone, or have any one touch me. not even my own family members.. i was reading that in some OCD cases, symtoms come and go in waves and usually appear beetween the ages of 15-25. i recnetly told my parents and it ws shocking to them. i feel embarresd and stupid that i have this insignificant fear of being touched by anyone! i told my therapist i just want peace in my mind and to be free.. she said medication will help you. im too ashamed to let other family members know wat iv got. not even my own brother knows about it. wat would he do? i was watching an excellent show called Family Secrets. there was this 15 yr old girl and she had a fear of touch. being touched by anyone. she thought germs or something will hurt her. she stayed with her granmother. shes dealt with it for 4 months. she said, "im realy good at hiding it when i can'. to me this was interesting because before i knew wat this was i was dealing with or heard of the show, i said that exact SAME line she said. its NOt like a fear of germs or that i think their disgusting its just my fear of contact and that it will hurt. i felt like i had to touch people like family. huggs and stuff because they luv me.. but NOW i cant be silent anymore im soo tired in my mind and my head even starts to hurt. once i start thinking ill get touched like a hug or watev i cant STOP! i turned down my uncle wen he wanted a kiss on the cheek. i said no.. god its soo painful. only one of my friends knows, and even then its hard. but i am trying to help myself. my ipod is my safety net wen the images appear, and hopefully the medication. im also writing a story where a gurl kinda like me but with obviosly diffrent characters delas with a fear of touch like me lol.. and how the music teacher in her school showes her how music helps her to cope with OCD and the fears with it. she learns the guitar. When i write i also listen to my ipod or my radio. these things do help to ease the "Bad" thoughts and images. and even when i have my hard days at work where i give in to the images, i can come home and lose myslef in music and write.. and even on my darkest days i know i can look and find a hidden exit in my mind with the help from music and writing and escape for another day, before the storm sets in.
QUote: HAve you ever fought something you cant see? have you ever fought a war but its you youre fighting? i still am now. these recycling thoughts keep coming. its like my mind hits rewind, play rewind and play again and again! i cant even read, and at work i stop myself and think about people touching me. iv had thoughts soo vivet that i thought i dreamt them. only the next night i actually have nightmares of hands all around me trying to touch me. its not like ill get germs from them its just im fearful that the touch its self will hurt me like a bee sting or that it will just hurt soo bad and be painful. when ever i think about it my hands get sweaty and my heart pounds. at first my mom said its a phaze but iv had this thing since i was 16, im 20 now. the only thing now that helps me is listing to music. it hepls me to focus myslelf. i was told thred be hope like medication to help me. im also dealing with ADD, a learning disability in math and im adopted from Colombia. i can understand how you are feeling dealing like with a shitty deck or something.. one day before i went into work, before dropping me off, my mom put her hand on my back. i yelled at her NOOOOO! she didnt know wat was wrong. i went into work and had a mental breakdown. that day i called my therapist and she said it sounds lika a case of OCD. wen she hung up the phone, i broke down and cried. how can i deal with this new "monster"? i looked up fear of touch and it brought me right away to OCD. all my symtoms were there. it would come like in waves where i felt ok to touch some one. but that was years ago. but now its gotten so bad that i cant stand to touch anyone, or have any one touch me. not even my own family members.. i was reading that in some OCD cases, symtoms come and go in waves and usually appear beetween the ages of 15-25. i recnetly told my parents and it ws shocking to them. i feel embarresd and stupid that i have this insignificant fear of being touched by anyone! i told my therapist i just want peace in my mind and to be free.. she said medication will help you. im too ashamed to let other family members know wat iv got. not even my own brother knows about it. wat would he do? i was watching an excellent show called Family Secrets. there was this 15 yr old girl and she had a fear of touch. being touched by anyone. she thought germs or something will hurt her. she stayed with her granmother. shes dealt with it for 4 months. she said, "im realy good at hiding it when i can'. to me this was interesting because before i knew wat this was i was dealing with or heard of the show, i said that exact SAME line she said. its NOt like a fear of germs or that i think their disgusting its just my fear of contact and that it will hurt. i felt like i had to touch people like family. huggs and stuff because they luv me.. but NOW i cant be silent anymore im soo tired in my mind and my head even starts to hurt. once i start thinking ill get touched like a hug or watev i cant STOP! i turned down my uncle wen he wanted a kiss on the cheek. i said no.. god its soo painful. only one of my friends knows, and even then its hard. but i am trying to help myself. my ipod is my safety net wen the images appear, and hopefully the medication. im also writing a story where a gurl kinda like me but with obviosly diffrent characters delas with a fear of touch like me lol.. and how the music teacher in her school showes her how music helps her to cope with OCD and the fears with it. she learns the guitar. When i write i also listen to my ipod or my radio. these things do help to ease the "Bad" thoughts and images. and even when i have my hard days at work where i give in to the images, i can come home and lose myslef in music and write.. and even on my darkest days i know i can look and find a hidden exit in my mind with the help from music and writing and escape for another day, before the storm sets in.