How many friends do you have?

[blight]

How many friends do you have that you might call or contact somehow to make plans with? I don't have any at this point in my life.

During highschool and college there were always several if not ten or more. My SA started towards the end of college I think (before that I was just a little bit shy and quiet) and since then even the friends I did have, I've started to feel uncomfortable around. It's been a few years now and I haven't had a girlfriend (I'm not even that bad looking) or made any real friends since then. My old friends I think would be very suprised to see how I live now. I have an apartment in NYC and a decent paying job but I'm always always alone. I went to grad school as well (being a book worm was easy for me) and didn't make any friends the whole 2 years I was there and I think everything has gotten worse as I've become so used to doing everything alone.

I couldn't even imagine at this point calling someone to go out to dinner or something like that and I feel time is just working furiously against me as the longer I am like this the harder it will become. I mean what if I did meet a girl and asked her out or something (not likely), how would I explain that I don't have any friends or what I do with my time. Most people couldn't even fathom a solitary life I don't think; and she would immediately think I was a complete freak.

 

[Tseng]

Same here, I don't have any friends at all. Back in highschool I had a few friends but I didn't see any of them outside of school. I've never had a girlfriend either.

 

[shy_miss_fly]

I still have a few friends from highschool. They always invite me to come out with them, but I always find some excuse to not go. Since I have been working on trying to cure my SA, I make it a rule that I have to go out socially with someone (cant be a family member)at least once a week. Its like work for me having to go out and be social. Its stressful and exhausting, but I know I have to do it to fix this. Last night I acually went to a club with some friends and had an ok time!

 

[Boundless]

I have 1 friend in my home city,we go way back and hes stood by me through out all my problems,a true friend.

 

[young]

I have one friend. And a bunch of aquantinces. Who I talk to at parties and gatherings. But we don't really hang out or talk to much outside of that.

 

[K-111]

I have three friends. For as long as I can remember up until now I've only ever had one close friend at a time. But I suppose they were never really close, as I was always the last one to be invited to parties or events (if ever) but for some reason I was generally always wanted around when they felt like just sitting around and wasting time.
My best friend moved away (first friend I've ever had who would call me, and ask if I wanted to do anything) and for a while I didn't have any close friends, I generally don't care about having company that much but after a couple of months it just became too boring, too depressing. Not so much in the way that I didn't have company, but I just stopped doing stuff - stopped doing anything at all. I tried to get a girlfriend, with no success - apparently going catatonic when asking somebody out is considered unappealing :roll: Though it doesn't matter much because I can never get close enough to anyone, all my relationships generally never progress any further than being purely informal.
So I just started showing up at people's houses. People my friend use to hang out with. I'd come over un-announced and just hang around for no reason, attempting to form coherent conversation. I felt really horrible for a couple of months, but a few folks just accepted my presence and now I have more than one friend who is willing to ask me to come to events or gatherings with them.
I still spend alot of my time alone, I guess I just don't like being around people, but it is assuring to know that if I didn't want to be alone there are people who'd be happy to have me around and it's a good feeling I guess.

 

[geyser]

I'm very close to my half-brother, but aside from him, no other friends.
All through school I had the same small group of friends, though we drifted apart in highschool.

 

[Skyla]

i have one close friend ive known since secondary (or highskool as others may call it) and two friends i talk to once a month or so and catch up with. i dont know why, but with the other two its never reached that personal level of friendship and i hate that. we always say "we need to see eachother more" etc etc, but it never happens.

 

[blubs]

When I was in my teens & early twenties I was part of a big network of friends & there was always someone to go out with....but I wasn't very close to anyone. I kept people at a distance as I was ashamed of my SA.
In my late 20s I went to University & made some new friends...a few in particular that I could go out with, but I kept them at a distance in the same way...& when my course ended I didn't stay in touch with them.
The last time I met up with a friend was 2 years ago.
But I'm trying to meet people through this site & hopefully it will be ok as I wont have to hide my SA from them.

 

[renegade]

Did u had to remind me that again ?

I don't have friends. (maybe a few from childhood but they are far far away).

 

[scatmantom]

For a person with SA i think Ive got alot of friends.

Only because i lived in student halls in the first year and met tonnes of new people and i was 4 hours from home and didnt know any1 at all. If i didnt make friends i wouldnt hav managed to stick at it. Now ive got about 10 really good friends at uni, and i know loads of other people that im friendly with..but there not really friends

my problem is friends of the oposite sex...i dont have any really

 

[Sue]

i have friends that i never see anymore. they seem to have lost interest in me. i dont have time to have friends but i really miss having them around.

 

[2QuietForThem]

I can pretty much talk to 2 people: one I see occasionally and the other electronically. The first is a married woman (we're just friends) and we don't want her husband to think something's going on, so we sort of keep it quiet. The other friend knows too many people and I don't feel that I can compete for her time. I pretty much work out my problems on my own. It's lonely. Ever notice that so many people in this forum are living your life? I'm constantly amazed at the stories I read from people - stories that I live daily.

 

[PhantomPod]

There's only 2 people I consider my friends. They both live across the street from me and we've known each other since I was in 1st grade.

 

[LittleMissScareAll]

none 8O

 

[kattness]

^^^ SNAP!!

none

 

[lostboi]

This was meant as a joke right?

 

[Invisible_Alien]

"Friends" can have many different meanings. I realize that I have no "true" or "real" friends. Well, maybe one. I do have people who I refer to as friends who I hang out with occasionally but in the years I've known them I have never divulged anything personal or private to them, and seriously doubt I ever will. Just having people who you can call up to go out with sometimes doesn't necessarily mean they're real friends.

 

[sugaryberries]

I have 2 people that are not my parents or sister that I would call to make plans with. However, I would never tell them anything personal. For instance, one of my friends' parents is getting a divorce and there is a whole lot of crazy stuff going on that she tells me about; she also tells me about her feelings and things like that. My parents were going to separate ( thankfully they didn't) but I would have never told either of them details about it.

When I was 6 I had this guy friend who was like the best in the world. O think he was my only friend, but I can't really remember too well- only pieces. We hung out all the time and I remember eating dinner at his house and always playing in our basements. Then I changed schools.

When I was 7-13 I had a group of 4 REALLY good friends I hung out with all the time and then I moved across the country. But, my 'best' friend said to me some time before I left "you know, I've never seen you cry before". That made me think about how even though I considered them good friends, I never divulged personal information.

 

[renegade]

Just having people who you can call up to go out with sometimes doesn't necessarily mean they're real friends.

You'll se they are friends when u will lose them, I don't wish u that though. Not wanting to be rude, but they mean a great deal, even if u can't tell them everything. Imagine yourself having no one to call if you're dying to go out one evening or you just want somebody to accompany you when u go somewhere.