Lavinialuna
Well-known member
I was doing well in life in general until I got injured during the birth of my daughter in 2002. I had an epidural that became infected and temporarily lost function to my legs. It slowly improved but the infection caused me to get ill with lupus. I had chronic migraines, cluster headaches, new allergies to chemicals as well as depression and anxiety. Feeling horrible, unable to work, I was home in bed a lot. The new chemical sensitivities took a lot of time to figure out, years to eliminate from my body and home. Dr.s were of little help and actually made me feel worse, like I was making my symptoms up, or exaggerating (such a horrible insult from those who damaged me in the first place!) I had to go through many many Dr.s to find anyone who even knew his head from a hole in the ground. I was unable get disability due to it taking so long to get a proper diagnosis and it being too long from my date last emplyed, and that was an insult (seriously, I have been really, really ill for so long!) and we have dealt with financial issues due to me not being able to work.
Then there was my family and friends who either didn't think I was seriously ill, or they didn't care so no one came to my aid helping me around the house or with my kids (except my husband), leaving a huge physical burden on my sick body. I am pretty sure all of these things in combination with continued pain and bad childhood experiences have resulted in this social phobia. I just stopped trusting people, and realize that even when I am vulnerable and sick, people don't give a fig about you and I am basically floating in the universe (for the most part) unsupported.
Now a days I am physically doing a little better and have grown accustomed to the chronic pain (the best one can adjust.) I have my up days and down days, but the anxiety is a constant now. I seldom leave the house and almost never alone.
Then there was my family and friends who either didn't think I was seriously ill, or they didn't care so no one came to my aid helping me around the house or with my kids (except my husband), leaving a huge physical burden on my sick body. I am pretty sure all of these things in combination with continued pain and bad childhood experiences have resulted in this social phobia. I just stopped trusting people, and realize that even when I am vulnerable and sick, people don't give a fig about you and I am basically floating in the universe (for the most part) unsupported.
Now a days I am physically doing a little better and have grown accustomed to the chronic pain (the best one can adjust.) I have my up days and down days, but the anxiety is a constant now. I seldom leave the house and almost never alone.
