How helpful is this website, really?
- Thread starter jschuley
- Start date
faithnomore
Banned
Pros: It allows people to vent their frustration and problems, also the chance of a 2nd opinion on their troubles.
Cons: An ego boost for some. Popularity contest etc.
Cons: An ego boost for some. Popularity contest etc.
weak
Well-known member
There's definitely a lot more "i hate my life" threads than "today I made progress!" threads. I'd say about 85% of the posts are of people complaining about their life.
I'm neutral, I try to give positive feedback/advice where I can. I dont leave here feeling more depressed.
I'm neutral, I try to give positive feedback/advice where I can. I dont leave here feeling more depressed.
newbie
Well-known member
yeh i just joined today and i'm finding this a good site and you can learn more about sp symtoms and relate to other people which all help you but realisticly the only person that can truley help you is yourself, people like us need alot more will power to do the stuff thats stopping us, your average joe might think that its because we are lazy but its harder than that.... if you can gather the courage and will power then you will overcome it
but i haven't done this so its easier said than done, much easier
but i haven't done this so its easier said than done, much easier
Satine
Well-known member
Well, a couple of weeks ago I wrote a long response - that took me about an hour - to a question about nightclubbing, and yesterday I had a reply from someone from this forum complaining about how smug I was for having a fantastic social life - a few insults were involved.
I've replied to the person pointing out that just because I know a bit about clubbing it doesn't make me promiscuous or a media slave, and they've apologised and we're now having an email conversation, which is cool.
But their first impression of me was that I'm not 'one of the Social Phobia World crowd' and that I shouldn't be here.
I'll admit that I don't hang around here much so haven't got a very clear measure of the Zeitgeist, but I have seen a couple of clues about to suggest that the focus is more often on problems than solutions.
I've been around a few help forums and noticed that, although they're great places for attracting people with a certain problem, they're not always helpful for attracting the people with the solutions. I think the top management needs to work on that. Not here specifically, but generally on help forii.
That said, some do have excellent regular posters who have a good perspective on such problems and are willing to help. It just depends on where you go.
I've replied to the person pointing out that just because I know a bit about clubbing it doesn't make me promiscuous or a media slave, and they've apologised and we're now having an email conversation, which is cool.
But their first impression of me was that I'm not 'one of the Social Phobia World crowd' and that I shouldn't be here.
I'll admit that I don't hang around here much so haven't got a very clear measure of the Zeitgeist, but I have seen a couple of clues about to suggest that the focus is more often on problems than solutions.
I've been around a few help forums and noticed that, although they're great places for attracting people with a certain problem, they're not always helpful for attracting the people with the solutions. I think the top management needs to work on that. Not here specifically, but generally on help forii.
That said, some do have excellent regular posters who have a good perspective on such problems and are willing to help. It just depends on where you go.
kt2222
Active member
I totally agree with the opening post
i first came on here in 2005 and the damn right rudness and arogance of some of those members..
i was actually in a recovery at that time and want to pass on my advice and maybe a shoulder to cry on blah blah... and i remember one of the moderators having a real go through the forum telling me how dare i say i was in recovery this condition has no cure and that he gave me a couple of months and i would be ill again
how rude lol little man syndrome maybe he he
im glad to say it's nothing like this now and the majority of the time i enjoy reading the post.. but unfortunatley there will be that one or two posts that hit a nerve but that is the nature of a forum.
Maybe as it seems so many of us have that problem may be we could all use the subject area of our posts a little better??? be a bit more explantitory in our subject names it might avoid reading something we dnt want to read ???? just an idea
i first came on here in 2005 and the damn right rudness and arogance of some of those members..
i was actually in a recovery at that time and want to pass on my advice and maybe a shoulder to cry on blah blah... and i remember one of the moderators having a real go through the forum telling me how dare i say i was in recovery this condition has no cure and that he gave me a couple of months and i would be ill again
how rude lol little man syndrome maybe he he im glad to say it's nothing like this now and the majority of the time i enjoy reading the post.. but unfortunatley there will be that one or two posts that hit a nerve but that is the nature of a forum.
Maybe as it seems so many of us have that problem may be we could all use the subject area of our posts a little better??? be a bit more explantitory in our subject names it might avoid reading something we dnt want to read ???? just an idea
Halleluja
Member
I've been lurking here for a while and it seems that some of the people here gave up all their hopes of recovery and healing. If that is the case, then it's also pointless posting and reading posts on this forum. Most likely, these people will only affect others in a negative way. So my advice for these people is to get professional help first and leave those who are recovering alone.
kt2222
Active member
i totally agree with the last post..
i also think this site is filled with posts from people .. angry and annoyed that people show no sympathy and no compassion etc etc..
But i have found that the worst for this is us sufferers... Not all but many.
so many times i have seen a post by someone and some of the comments and replys are so harsh and un called for.
i also think this site is filled with posts from people .. angry and annoyed that people show no sympathy and no compassion etc etc..
But i have found that the worst for this is us sufferers... Not all but many.
so many times i have seen a post by someone and some of the comments and replys are so harsh and un called for.
nephatitus
Well-known member
nope not really
im 10x way too different than anyone on this forum
im 10x way too different than anyone on this forum
The thing with social phobia is, you have to really really WANT to get better. You have to get to the point where you want nothing more than to break out of your cage of fear. Being depressed is the easy option, it is habit and you have your coping mechanisms to avoid embarrassment. It takes a lot of work to start getting better, and not everybody is ready for that. And thats OK too, but I wish I could help them.
I empathize with almost everything that is said, because I have been there, but I wish there was more a focus on getting better, and advice was taken seriously instead of people saying "Nope, cant do it, I am beyond help"
And I wish I could provide proof that you can get better, I wish I could post some kindof snapshot of me at my worst (I had an extreme case for a long time), and how I am doing now. People don't want to believe you can get better because then they have to start taking responsibility for doing all that is necessary to overcome SA and face their worst fears.
The animosity towards people who are doing better than others is not cool, but I think I know where it is coming from...
I am kindof a newbie, joined to offer help... not sure if it is appreciated or not
But I guess we should keep trying in order to provide hope and balance out the negativity
And I know that realizing I was not alone in my SA was one of the first steps to me getting better.. so in that aspect this board is good.
This board is good for me to recognize fears I have not identified yet. When you have thought the same way for your life, sometimes you need a different perspective to identify your remaining, hidden fears. Fear works in strange and subtle ways sometimes.
I am rambling lol, shutup Becca, geez. If I dont post now, next time I look this will be twice as long
I empathize with almost everything that is said, because I have been there, but I wish there was more a focus on getting better, and advice was taken seriously instead of people saying "Nope, cant do it, I am beyond help"
And I wish I could provide proof that you can get better, I wish I could post some kindof snapshot of me at my worst (I had an extreme case for a long time), and how I am doing now. People don't want to believe you can get better because then they have to start taking responsibility for doing all that is necessary to overcome SA and face their worst fears.
The animosity towards people who are doing better than others is not cool, but I think I know where it is coming from...
I am kindof a newbie, joined to offer help... not sure if it is appreciated or not
But I guess we should keep trying in order to provide hope and balance out the negativity
And I know that realizing I was not alone in my SA was one of the first steps to me getting better.. so in that aspect this board is good.
This board is good for me to recognize fears I have not identified yet. When you have thought the same way for your life, sometimes you need a different perspective to identify your remaining, hidden fears. Fear works in strange and subtle ways sometimes.
I am rambling lol, shutup Becca, geez. If I dont post now, next time I look this will be twice as long
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anomicdeer
Well-known member
Well I dont know how helpful people expect it to be. I think this is just to see that YOU ARE NOT ALONE, not to get help.
sabbath9
Banned
This forum is a tool, it's as helpful as we want to make it. Another forum I used to go to would ban me for chatting on another forum, now that's what I call a useless, non-helpful forum. Sometimes the mods here get a little worked up, but mostly they stay out of our way. If you want this forum to be more helpful then start helping others. Be the change you want to see in the world.
I don't know about how helpful it is, but it helps you relate to others, rant, discuss your problems and know that you really are not alone. I know I felt relieved when I came across people facing the same problems as me. It's just a tool in the healing process, perhaps the start of it while the rest is up to you.
Also, it's all in the mind... if your mind is set on overcoming SA and you don't allow the negative stuff you read about to get to you, then you'll be fine.
Also, it's all in the mind... if your mind is set on overcoming SA and you don't allow the negative stuff you read about to get to you, then you'll be fine.