What I've been trying to do is see success in broader terms. While I dont know specifically what situations you mean, I assume that they are social situations (they are for me) with people that you either know or dont know. I've thrown out the idea that in order for a social interaction to be successful I have to talk to everyone, be friendly, make friends, meet people, etc....I'm seeing the fact that I put myself into that social situation as a success. So, if for example I go to a party and say maybe only one word to one person, I see that as a success because I showed up instead of sat at home alone. The only way I see failure is if I avoid the situation. Regardless of the OUTCOME of the situation, the fact that you didn't avoid it should be seen as progress, as success, as pushing yourself. The fact that you feel anxiety means you are facing your fear head on, and though it sucks you are in fact lessening your overall anxiety in the long run. Over time I will begin to define success less broadly (meaning I will be more active in trying to meet and talk to people), but for now just putting myself in the situation is good enough to be seen as success for me. NO MATTER WHAT happens. I have already seen that things are not as bad as they seem....
