How do you increase your own self esteem?

[Flyingheart]

I've tried a lot of things, CBT, telling myself I'm worth it when I think something negative...but the negative thoughts are so addictive.

They say that your opinion of yourself should be the one that matters the most but this just makes me feel like I'm being big-headed or something. It's a vicious circle.
How do you get out of it? I don't know how to believe that I am good enough. I really don't. :-/

 

[thomas90]

I don't understand why you don't feel good enough, your awesome!

They say that to build confidence, its all about experience, so id advise that you get out as often as you can, do anything! Take up a hobby, one you may already have, educate yourself on the things unknown to you that you've always wanted to know. Anything that requires effort really

 

[mikebird]

Try attacking the people who made you get like that

 

[this_portrait]

I've been struggling with self-esteem issues for as long as I can remember. I think one way to sort of raise your spirits without seeming big-headed is to just tell yourself that you're human, you make mistakes, therefore you're not perfect. However you're not a bad person and you're just trying to live life in the best way that you can.

Hope it helps.

 

[A86]

Try attacking the people who made you get like that

As disturbing as it may sound, I do force myself to think some pretty violent thoughts at times when my mind realy does not want to just run away but my body starts to go into anxiety overdrive.
Get all macho like in my head... "ill samsh all these people to a pulp", "they cant stop me", "RAAARRR!","HULK SMASH!". The reason I keep doing this is because it actualy works (for me anyway?) and is easier to maintain the thought patten for extended periods of time (compared to posative reinforcement).
It has prevented me from from making some stupid decisions based on my emotional state that would have been detrimental to my quality of life.

 

[Flyingheart]

Thanks for the answers, I really appreciate them. Thing is..I like myself when I'm being positive but when I fall, I fall hard, rock-bottom. I feel like a completely different person when I get negative thoughts and then that's all I can be. Does anyone else feel like that?

Finding a way to battle those thoughts, well I know it's not impossible but it's sort of hard to see the other side when you're over it.

 

[Bittersweet]

Finding a way to battle those thoughts, well I know it's not impossible but it's sort of hard to see the other side when you're over it.

It's been my experience that you can't battle the thoughts, you have to take the time to understand them.

 

[Warrior Poet]

Set goals and achieve them, don't aim to high start off slow.

 

[Flyingheart]

It's been my experience that you can't battle the thoughts, you have to take the time to understand them.

But during CBT, what I learnt was that I needed to battle them - that I had to replace the negative with the positive. I'm unsure of how simply understanding them could make an improvement?

 

[coyote]

try realize that labels like good, bad, better, or worse are simply that - labels

artificial constructs of the human mind with no real concrete existence

you are you, i am me, we are all ourselves

we are exactly the way we are - without any labels

the labels with which we choose to describe ourselves only have the meaning we give them

so it comes down to examining the labels

are they valid? where did they come from? are they even necessary?

 

[Flyingheart]

try realize that labels like good, bad, better, or worse are simply that - labels

artificial constructs of the human mind with no real concrete existence

you are you, i am me, we are all ourselves

we are exactly the way we are - without any labels

the labels with which we choose to describe ourselves only have the meaning we give them

so it comes down to examining the labels

are they valid? where did they come from? are they even necessary?

thanks, that helped to put things into perspective. Thing is, i KNOW those negative thoughts aren't valid, but to me anyway, believing them is something entirely different

 

[coyote]

thanks, that helped to put things into perspective. Thing is, i KNOW those negative thoughts aren't valid, but to me anyway, believing them is something entirely different

yes, that's the tough part

we spend our whole lives coming up with the labels

and then building everything around the labels so that it all makes sense

it's hard to step back and get rid of the labels themselves

it's like trying to pull the table cloth out from under all the dishes

and not have the whole dinner go crashing to the floor