How do you handle confrontation or stern vocal criticism?

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
Recently, as posted in this thread, I left my job due to unhappiness with a whole number of things.

I live with my family and news travels fast. I'm always expected to do something, i.e. bring in money and be active etc.

I've told a few family members of my decision to leave my job - both responded with "You shouldn't have left" etc without knowing how I've been feeling for a long time.

One of my brother's is extremely confident etc, the opposite of me and very confrontational. When he finds out, he'll be looking to hunt me down and demand answers of why I left etc. I don't want to tell him the real truth of why I left so I either intend to say that I left due to not hitting targets which is a weak excuse as he seems to think a call centre job is easy, or I will probably end up being rebellious and being curt in my responses just so he can go.

Any tips?
 

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
Great, got a family dinner scheduled with all of the family. No doubt - questions will be raised about my job in which I'll have to publicly confess to all present that I have no job and that I left, and I'll be quizzed why I haven't driven my car since I bought car. Nightmare...!

I might sneakily try to avoid it but don't think I'll able to
 

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
You could tell them that they were going to fire you for missing your targets, so you quit before that would be on your record. Therefore, resume wise, you made a smart move.
OR. Use this as an opportunity to tell them what is wrong with you. If you're not seeing a doctor, tell them that you want to. They're probably ignorant about mental illness but they'll have no choice but to accept it......Be strong!
 

SilentAndShy

Well-known member
I'll be heading for the first reason you suggested, won't be telling them about my visit to the doctor or about my depression/SA - sadly it might be dismissed. But, I get the feeling if I'm confronted with a whole load of people, it'll be an angry one. But part of me wants that, a confrontation, especially with one of my brothers who hasn't been supportive of me.
 

ClovizKarts

Active member
i agree with what, ImNotMyIllness, said!

but i will also ad. i was trying putting myself in your situation in case of deciding to tell, and i think that the positive and negative aspects of telling depand so much from one people to another.
i also think that might be important someone close to you to really know what is going on with you, i don't know who knows it.

in my case my family knows, they also pay for my therapy and medicaments...its being more than 10 years and i think they still dont understand, but somehow they respect or try to.

i think the best is to tell but i respect and understand chosing not to
 

ClovizKarts

Active member
How do you handle confrontation or stern vocal criticism?

thank you for this question! it helps me think and analyse my life.

i dont know what came first if was me not dealing well with confrontation that made me try to do things perfect, so with that no one could criticism me, what is not true by the way, or was the opposite i was a perfeccionist so in my head it was not able to criticism.
 

jaim38

Well-known member
How do you handle confrontation or stern vocal criticism?

With strangers, I tend to remain silent and hope that the person would lose interest in me and move on. I get very angry inside but refuse to express my emotions because I fear I will lose control and cry - which is a sign of weakness in bullies' eyes.
 

mikebird

Banned
The person who hired me to be a temp and become perm was the only boss I've ever known to leave within a week of me being there. I was around when some people I didn't know were chatting about words with no meaning I could grasp at all. It all meant "bleeuurrghhh....." to me. I ignored. I asked George after they left. I liked him. Broad Scottish guy who let me start. I did things he didn't know how to, so I helped. He said the conversation they had around his desk was just 'office politics' and that was my first enlightment to that phrase. I use it a lot now. When he was gone, a colleague and me had a meeting with George's boss, my new one. He said George 'got ahead of himself' but it was never disclosed if he decided to quit or got fired. That's respectful. The company was private healthcare - invoicing.

I never quit any work. I adore employment. I did think the upcoming salary was quite low after transition from a better contract rate, but I'd never say 'no' to anything. I was dismissed because they didn't have anything else for me to do. It was 5 mins from home, and I'd never had that scenario before. Luxury. Occasionally lunch at home!
 
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