how do you get a gf if u've never had one or don't already?

[A_Void_Ant]

eh. I'm sorry, I know you had good intentions.. but I jsut don't agree.

And I'm not saying that I think of the girl choosing me or whatever. The girl doesn't let me choose.

and besides that. as I said before I'm just WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY ****INGWAY OMFGUCKINGIOSDFEKLWJEL WAY different. A difference nobody "normal" could understand, even the abnormals. It'd have to be an EXTREME of EXTREMES abnormal.

That's where I lose hope.

I'm also not too apt to approaching girls, or women to conversate simply because I think they are attractive, even though that's what most guys do, but isn't that considered pervert? Only if you're me then I guess.

Even to socialize with a girl who looks pretty, and just want to socialize with... I still think people will see me as a perv.

Oh I forgot I don't even socialize. I just communicate things.

Trust me I am wierd too. That's why I never had a g/f either. I'm just saying to feel better about yourself use the mindset that you havn't had one because you are trying to choose a good one. I know it's confusing. Everyone is different so maybe what I'm writing about is nonsense to you. But it works for me and if you get anything out of it thats good. I know it sucks when there's a pretty girl and you just can't approach her. I still can't either. I'm not saying I've overcome my anxiety with my philosophy above. It's just a mindset to feel better about being a V, that you have chosen so to be.

 

[no1]

ok guessed. I understand. I know, people tell me that all the time. The fact is I am a much different case than most people so yea most advice simply does not help me, and I can't even help myself. Most things that work for others simply dont work for me.

 

[Pookah]

You are not a unique snowflake. I know you think you are but that is just the egocentricity talking. You are not somehow the most misunderstood person on the planet.

Maybe try empathy, trying to relate to another person and not trying to one up them problem for problem. Your match doesn't have to be exactly like you there just has to be some things in common and mutual attraction. You aren't trying to attract you are actively repelling others with your stubborn views.

 

[718]

And if you behave like a mature, reasonable man, no girl will be able to read you. No one will be able to tell whether you had sex or a relationship.

This is absolutely 100% false. If this guy is anything like me...which I'm sure he is...she will be able to tell within 5 minutes of talking to him. This is from experience as a 22year old in the same position as him.

It's interesting though....I've never had a guy ask me if I was a virgin or been in a relationship but several times have had girls straight up ask me these things.

 

[718]

I think it's in your mind only, and no where else

Of coures some girls don't want guys who've never had a g/f before...but there are also some girls who don't want you if you don't have a lot of $, a 6 pack, etc. I know lots of girls wouldn't care one way or another if you've never had a g/f.

About sex.... Same thing. Lots of girls would probably prefer a virgin, no risk of diseases, nothing to compare them to, etc.

More bs...so you're telling me
1)there are many girls out there who want to be with a loser
2)there are lots of girls out there who want to have sex with some loser who doesn't know how to please them?

and by the way...this isn't directed towards you no1. when I refer to "loser" i'm referring to myself

 

[combat]

More bs...so you're telling me
1)there are many girls out there who want to be with a loser

Guy, it's just sex. Not having had it yet doesn't make anyone a "loser." You're obsessing over this far more than the average girl does.

2)there are lots of girls out there who want to have sex with some loser who doesn't know how to please them?

Big guy, seriously... it just doesn't matter. The only thing that will turn a girl off is you believing you're a loser. Figuring out how to please her? Easily learned, it isn't that complicated. Seriously. I've never had sex either and it just doesn't concern me. I know I'll do just fine when the right girl comes along.

Stop making a bloody mountain out of a molehill.

 

[Nack]

its just a stupid paradox my mind can't get past.

I'm 23 and girls don't want guys who've never had girlfriends or don't already, and trust me they can tell even if you don't tell them.

Girls also don't want you if you've never had friends in general, or don't already.
it's ok if you just moved in maybe, but I did not just move in. I can't make up stories like I just did, it wouldn't make sense.

Girls also don't want to have sex with me because I've never really had "real" sex before. even the "less desirable ones".

It's just mind boggling.

Why does everyone think they need to have sex prior to "anything." I mean seriously, who the **** cares if you havn't had sex yet, its actually something that is looked up, these days... Lets compare, Hot Chick#1 = 10 guys, Hot Chick #2 = 0 guys, who would you pick?

note:
Personally, i feel like people who have sex for fun, are foolss who needs to get AIDS. Plus its a turnoff for me... :\

 

[klytus]

This is absolutely 100% false. If this guy is anything like me...which I'm sure he is...she will be able to tell within 5 minutes of talking to him. This is from experience as a 22year old in the same position as him.

It's interesting though....I've never had a guy ask me if I was a virgin or been in a relationship but several times have had girls straight up ask me these things.

Well, the only possible explanation is that neither you, nor no1, are mature, reasonable men who resonate confidence and strength. It's as simple as that. Women catch up on your insecurities, and jump to conclusions as to why you behave like that. Shyness and insufficient experience are the most likely causes - hence their questions.

No girl in my adult life has ever asked me whether I had sex before. One girl I talk to quite often asked me whether I already had a girlfriend before, and that because we were talking about that topic.

I have no problems whatsoever talking to women - or getting dates, if I wanted to. And I am a 20 year old virgin, who has never had a girlfriend before.

 

[no1]

It's not just the simple "unrelated factor".

not having sex until a certain age does cause differences in personality whether you like it or not. In many cases it causes disorder. It is in fact a disorder, it is dysfunction. At least past a certain age. In the wild animals that don't mate will also die quicker.

Didn't they do a study that if you lose your virginity after 18 or 19 you havemore chances of devloping sexual dysfunction. Also people who have sex generally live longer (also a study done on that) are happy, more fulfilled, etc. etc. etc.

 

[Anubis]

If there is more sexual dysfunction in people who lose their virginity after 18, then it's surely psychological (i.e. based on a belief concocted by humans). I know of no scientific finding that says our physiology requires us to lose our virginity that early. Our body wouldn't know the difference.

 

[Nicholas]

Didn't they do a study that if you lose your virginity after 18 or 19 you havemore chances of devloping sexual dysfunction. Also people who have sex generally live longer (also a study done on that) are happy, more fulfilled, etc. etc. etc.

That's why masturbation helps. The physiological process is the same.
If what is giving you trouble is the fact that you feel you really need a girl, than that's a different matter. It's not a physical problem, it's a mental problem, like a kind of obsession. I have the same problem too, and sometimes I feel like I'm dying. But I can't get a random girlfriend just because I want a girl. I don't want just "any" girl. I'll have to find the right one for me, one I admire, one who loves and accepts me the way I am. But this takes time, so it's no use worrying all the time.

The attitude we have makes a huge difference. If you are a virgin and you are depressed about it, then lots of girls might find something weird with you, and avoid you. But if you are a virgin and you have no problems with that and you feel optimistic anyway, then I believe lots of girls will actually accept you more easily.
I am not making this stuff up, I really notice a difference whenever I change my attitude. So, let's just relax.

 

[no1]

no masturbation is not even physiologically the same as sex.

 

[no1]

That's why masturbation helps. The physiological process is the same.
If what is giving you trouble is the fact that you feel you really need a girl, than that's a different matter. It's not a physical problem, it's a mental problem, like a kind of obsession. I have the same problem too, and sometimes I feel like I'm dying. But I can't get a random girlfriend just because I want a girl. I don't want just "any" girl. I'll have to find the right one for me, one I admire, one who loves and accepts me the way I am. But this takes time, so it's no use worrying all the time.

The attitude we have makes a huge difference. If you are a virgin and you are depressed about it, then lots of girls might find something weird with you, and avoid you. But if you are a virgin and you have no problems with that and you feel optimistic anyway, then I believe lots of girls will actually accept you more easily.
I am not making this stuff up, I really notice a difference whenever I change my attitude. So, let's just relax.

and if you're alone well it's kinda hard not to be depressed.

I guess those virgins who are virgins are ok with it because they still actually have female friends, and social support.

I've never even had a female friend.

 

[718]

Well, the only possible explanation is that neither you, nor no1, are mature, reasonable men who resonate confidence and strength. It's as simple as that. Women catch up on your insecurities, and jump to conclusions as to why you behave like that. Shyness and insufficient experience are the most likely causes - hence their questions.

No girl in my adult life has ever asked me whether I had sex before. One girl I talk to quite often asked me whether I already had a girlfriend before, and that because we were talking about that topic.

I have no problems whatsoever talking to women - or getting dates, if I wanted to. And I am a 20 year old virgin, who has never had a girlfriend before.

So you're saying stop being socially anxious and you won't have problems...thank you captain obvious

 

[Juggalo]

Who cares?

Well, I've been turned down 3 different times now by girls I had crushes on because I was a virgin and "too innocent" in their words and they wanted a guy who knows what he is doing. One of those girls is currently dating an ******* who is 6'5".

 

[klytus]

Well, I've been turned down 3 different times now by girls I had crushes on because I was a virgin and "too innocent" in their words and they wanted a guy who knows what he is doing. One of those girls is currently dating an ******* who is 6'5".

Impressive - three times. And that because of your being a virgin? That is so unbelievable, it's actually funny. Be glad the rejected you. Losing your virginity to someone that retarded isn't something to desire.

And being 6'5" is a part of why he is an asshole, or how am I supposed to understand this?

 

[Juggalo]

Impressive - three times. And that because of your being a virgin? That is so unbelievable, it's actually funny. Be glad the rejected you. Losing your virginity to someone that retarded isn't something to desire.

And being 6'5" is a part of why he is an asshole, or how am I supposed to understand this?

All the chicks I like seem to date these tall guys, over 6 foot.

I think MOST women are like those chicks. Thats what I think.

 

[klytus]

It is understandable, though, isn't it? If they have to choose between the short guy who additionally is timid and shy, and the tall, confident one, it's kind of clear who gets the girl.

 

[Juggalo]

It is understandable, though, isn't it? If they have to choose between the short guy who additionally is timid and shy, and the tall, confident one, it's kind of clear who gets the girl.

Dude what the **** are you doing, TRYING to make me feel like ****?

 

[Nicholas]

That's why masturbation helps. The physiological process is the same.
If what is giving you trouble is the fact that you feel you really need a girl, than that's a different matter. It's not a physical problem, it's a mental problem, like a kind of obsession. I have the same problem too, and sometimes I feel like I'm dying. But I can't get a random girlfriend just because I want a girl. I don't want just "any" girl. I'll have to find the right one for me, one I admire, one who loves and accepts me the way I am. But this takes time, so it's no use worrying all the time.

The attitude we have makes a huge difference. If you are a virgin and you are depressed about it, then lots of girls might find something weird with you, and avoid you. But if you are a virgin and you have no problems with that and you feel optimistic anyway, then I believe lots of girls will actually accept you more easily.
I am not making this stuff up, I really notice a difference whenever I change my attitude. So, let's just relax.

and if you're alone well it's kinda hard not to be depressed.

I guess those virgins who are virgins are ok with it because they still actually have female friends, and social support.

I've never even had a female friend.

I'm a virgin and I've never had a real female friend, and I don't deny I feel bad for this. And I'm not ok with it either.
What I'm saying is that ever since I decided not to obsess over it, I am actually feeling better, I am able to do something instead of just feeling depressed and doing nothing to improve my situation. That's the trick.
Worrying about not having a girlfriend is completely useless. Yes, it bothers me, but I am trying not to lose any time worrying about stuff that is useless, because worrying won't change anything.
I have understood that I need to make a change, and worrying is not a change.