How do we make friends?
- Thread starter chris11
- Start date
PeacefulEva
Member
Good question and if i had the answer i dont think that I would be SA sufferer.
Making friends is something I have struggled with for most of my life. I look at people who can easily interact with others and think how do they do that. I've had SA since the age of 13 and sometimes I think that my social skills stopped developing at that age. Because since 13 I have become socially paralysed, I'v never really enjoyed a conversation because the entire time I was thinking about the next thing to say and about being judged and various other things. I dont think I allowed my social skills to develop and thats probably why I find it hard to make friends.
On all other levels I consider myself quite mature but not with my social skills.
I heard that people like to talk about themselves a lot, so I tried that and allowed others to dominate the conversation and i would encourage them by asking questions, but that did not work. They didn't want to be my friend and plus I fould the expereince unsatisfying.
I know that deep down to make friends you have to be yourself, because then you will attract the right people. But how can you be yourself if you dont know who you are.
Making friends is something I have struggled with for most of my life. I look at people who can easily interact with others and think how do they do that. I've had SA since the age of 13 and sometimes I think that my social skills stopped developing at that age. Because since 13 I have become socially paralysed, I'v never really enjoyed a conversation because the entire time I was thinking about the next thing to say and about being judged and various other things. I dont think I allowed my social skills to develop and thats probably why I find it hard to make friends.
On all other levels I consider myself quite mature but not with my social skills.
I heard that people like to talk about themselves a lot, so I tried that and allowed others to dominate the conversation and i would encourage them by asking questions, but that did not work. They didn't want to be my friend and plus I fould the expereince unsatisfying.
I know that deep down to make friends you have to be yourself, because then you will attract the right people. But how can you be yourself if you dont know who you are.
Snollygoster
Member
Good question! I have no idea. Hell, I can't even make friends over the friggin' Internet! :evil:
nofriends34
Member
Making friends for me is the hardest thing in the world. I currently have 0 friends and haven't had any for about 12 years. The thing that makes it hard for me is the fact that I'm too afraid to initiate a conversation with an unfamiliar person. I very rarely initiate a conversation with someone. I only speak when spoken to (which usually doesn't last long). So, I believe if you want to make friends YOU MUST start conversations with people; don't wait for people to talk to you. The big dilemma for us though is that starting a conversation with someone unfamiliar is extremely difficult.
TheWickedEnd
Member
What works best for me is just be friendly with someone and be yourself. I know that it isn't the easiest thing to be yourself but I figure if I have to be someone else to make this person like me then it won't work in the end anyways. I also believe you should be positive around people and like I said be friendly, ask them how thier day is and talk about something you think they might like, such as sports or music. Just be interested in them. There are a lot of people in this world and not everyone is a good match as a person for you. Find someone you have things in common with and feel comfortable around. I like people that don't seem to be very judgemental. It takes a long time, trust me, and there will be lots of people that you think might be cool but turn out to not be the person you thought they were. The main thing is don't compromise yourself. I hope this helps 
no1
Banned
I can talk and stuff.. my problem though is that when I get home.. I realize these people are just associates. I have a hard time asking for a phone number unless I would need it but usually it's not a necessity. So why get a phone number? I will only look desperate anyway. Obviously, people looking for friends is someone desperate right? You have to let it happen, naturally. You can't go looking for it, otherwise you'll look desperate. To me I find this very indirect but hey most people think being direct is too direct and 'needy'.