How do i get over and cope with being a physically ugly person?

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stewiegrif

Member
Im 18 never had a girlfreind dont have many freinds. Im a cashier so i deal with the public most of them are nasty and insult me under there breath. Usually in regards to my Ugly apearence. I am not ugly on the inside at all but its difficult to be homley in such a judgmental and vain society. I really dont know how to cope with it when i get insulted and get told im ugly everyday. To be honest i feel like commiting sucide to end it constant insults really can push you to that point if its a daily thing. I remember today i was walking out of a pizza place and these 2 teenage girls were standing outside staring at me as i walked out. I did my very best to not make eye contact with them so they wouldnt think they needed to insult me to break me down and make me know that i had no chance with them. Still they had to do it they had to say eww hes so ugly as i was walking away. Its the constant crap like this that gets me. I mean i cant build myself up from insults if it happens daily. Im not a pushover i can take a few insults here and there but every day come on who the hell has to deal with that. Just as i start to build my shield from the insults back up someone knocks it down and im stuck every insult feels like a knife to the heart after that. The sad thing about it was that i used to be a nice looking kid when i was 15-17, you see i was fat for many years ages 6-15 my brother and people constantly called me fat and fat ass never ugly though, not once. it didnt bother me cus i knew i would be fit and skinny one day which i am right now. I lost alot of weight and became a nice looking young man at age 16 then for some reason the puberty bat came around again at age 17 and made me homley. Its not fair i wish i could go back and tell myself hey man you should talk to some girls or something but i never did i was to shy and unconfident. I got attention to for good reasons. Now though at 18 i get stares from women and not for the good reason they usually look at me and say eww or ugly or something stupid. I cant take it its not fair people who are young like me usually look good maybe 1 or 2 percent of them are truley homley. How do i cope, does anyone deal with a similiar issue. On the relationship end im not shallow at all i find most women my age to be attractive im much less picky then most guys my age the only thing that turns me off in a women is if there overweight. Its not my fault its biological i prefer a skinny women she doesnt have to be perfect and i should get a skinny women because i am skinny myself. I simply cant date a women i dont like it would not work for me id rather be single. Once again im not picky at all except for the weight thing, some women i find attractive other guys have said are not. thats proves im not shallow. How do i cope with these insults my life just started i cant deal with this for the rest of it. Im going to post a picture up here i want to know what exactly makes me ugly is my face uneven is my face badly proportioned is it to fat to wide?be brutally honest. Should i get a haircut i feel like i need to do something about it, because if i really get insulted this much i must be a real real eye sore. I mean sometimes women dont even look me in the eye when they talk to me it make me feel like a monster. [
 
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jaim38

Well-known member
I'm not a good looking person too, but I got over it. When I was a teenager, I had body image issues. I remember putting on so many acne medication (been to the doctor twice), using vaseline to try to get my lashes to grow longer, and starving myself several times. But after high school, there was more self acceptance. I stopped doing all those things and focused my mind on more important things.

I saw your picture and I don't think you look like a monster because monsters look a lot worse. Looks are not everything; some people are able to succeed without the looks, such as Bill Gates.

Seriously, after high school, things change. Some people who are not so good looking go on to become engineers, doctors, scientists, bankers,etc. And then women flock to them not because they're good looking but because of their money, maybe their personality, etc.
 
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ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
1. Your expression. You look like a deer caught in someone's headlights. (very very tense and unhappy looking). I can tell by your face, regardless of the picture that you're good looking. You have a nice facial structure. With a more up to date haircut and a happier demeanor, you would be attractive!

I don't know where in the hell you're working to receive abuse like that. It's either a) Some of it, is in your head (hold on, wait for b) or b) you need to get the hell out of that job.

Stick around awhile. You're going to meet people who look like models. But, they are convinced that they are hideous. Nothing that you or I can say or do, will change their minds. Recognize, you (like the rest of us) suffer from this distorted self image.

This forum is helping me out a lot. You made a great first step by seeking help. If only if I did that when I was 18............I just didn't know.
 
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stewiegrif

Member
My parents would kill me if i quit they just don't understand i try and tell them i need to see someone they don't listen i appreciate your kindness and am sorry for sounding like a cry baby but i had to tell someone what im going through i one day hope i can offer someone the same support you gave me when i feel better
 
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ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
You're not a cry baby at all! We are all here to vent and support one another. You've obviously been hurt and it has crushed your self esteem. The trick now, is to rebuild it.
I (and I'm sure the others) would love to hear your good qualities. What do you like about yourself?
 
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economist

Well-known member
bro, you've got to be kidding me

you're legit a very good looking guy
i'm not just saying that
get a diff haircut
work out a bit
you're face is better looking than the majority of people
 
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kc1296426

Active member
Stop worrying about it man -- you're a good looking guy, and if you don't feel so, go to the gym and put on some muscles or improve your social skills or whatever it is that you think is not as good. Don't beat yourself up because of it -- you're a good guy and that's what matters :) Change what you can and don't beat yourself up to much!
 
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stewiegrif

Member
No im not kidding you people laugh in my face and insult me every day i look worse in real life anyway. Danmit people don't even look me in the eye sometimes this women looked at me with disgust today for being alive i even overheard my manager say i was ugly i hear ugly were ever i go
 
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ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
18 is very young. A lot of people don't have girlfriends or boyfriends at that age. Also, you're in an age group where girls and boys are still very mean. Most of that stems from their own issues. A girl that called you ugly, may have been dumped by her boyfriend or may have been called a name herself. i.e slut etc
Some people REACT to pain by GIVING OTHERS PAIN. Mentally healthy and happy people DON'T go out and insult and berate others. See them as broken souls that are taking out their hurt on you-Try not to take it as personally.
 
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ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
Remember, many of here suffer from a distorted image about our appearance (you included). You'll find that out as you interact with people. Once you get a cool looking haircut and smile, you'll be fine.
 
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economist

Well-known member
bro, ur only 18
i'm 18 too
loads of my friends still look babyish

i mean, judging from that pic, u look good
 
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stewiegrif

Member
I cant understand mean people like that i never insult anyone there souls may be broken but it makes me feel no better to think of people that way i will admit i am a pussy though
 
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ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
There are a lot of beautiful souls out there like you. Society is not as vain as you might think......and, you're not a p*ssy. You're just a good guy. It doesn't feel good to be insulted but if you can DE-personalize it, as in, it's a reflection of their issues and not you, then it helps alleviate the sting of the remark or action.
 
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