How did I wind up HERE?

[LoVe13]

I was amazing. I had friends, money, i worked full time, went to University at nite, vacationed wherever i wanted twice a year, and i was kind, caring, and loved. Now I'm in my 40's living back with parents, no job, no friends (even my bestest best friend since our first day of school when we were 4 years old stopped speaking to me with no reason 6 months ago). I hate this situation and everything i try fails. I feel like im being punished for something i don'trremember doing.

 

[shyflower]

I am in a similar situation as you. I lost my car due to an accident on the last day of May this year. The accident was not my fault and I was rear ended by a guy going a pretty fast speed. I wasn't ready for my car to be taken from me because I had planned to keep it another 2 years at the least and give myself time to save up more money for another one. Just that one event changed my life. I lost my best friend.. she became a totally different person after that and the friends that I knew were also her friends. I lost those friends. I lost my job, I have had to move back in with my parents who are in really bad shape to live here and take care of them. It has been over a month since my best friend and I quit speaking and there has been silence for over a month.. none of my friends contact me anymore. It bothered me at first.. but now I don't care anymore because my sadness has turned into anger.. and now I am in one of those I don't give a sh** modes. Things do pass with time and you learn to not let it bother you anymore

 

[LoVe13]

I honestly feel like I want to shrink to the size of a marble and roll away to a place nobody will find me. The past 5 years of my life sound like a horrible chick flick movie. I lost my job after 10 years there, my boyfriend of 15 years was killed in an accident at work, my father lost his job, I was assaulted at a part time job I took to help parents, my puppy died the day after I took him to vet for a check up and 3weeks before Christmas my parents were involved in an 18 car accident (thank God it could have been worse) but my mom has a head injury and is a totally different person. Her personality and she has cognitive issues. This all happened in 3 years. I'm so stuck. Ive tried everything from therapy to hypnosis cd's. I have only 1 friend and she isn't dependable & lies a lot. My father is verbally abusive. And I'm a loser being 42 and stuck back living here. I actually feel like I cant breath here but rarely leave house because I don't want anyone to see me. My personal record is 48 days without even opening the door to get mail. I have been sucked into the world of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Degrassi, any TV show that takes me far far far from here. Your story helped me see the world isn't out to get ME and ME alone. I wish you happiness in near the very future.

 

[shyflower]

I can't say I have had a streak of unlucky events in a course of over the years ..it has been more like since the first of the year. Started off with a bad New Years Eve, I went to a party that was pretty lame and my best friend stole some party favors off of a table and I got blamed for it. Then February.. I ended up with bronchitis.. which eventually turned into a lung inflammation/ lung infection. After me pocketing over $200.00 for 2 rounds of antibiotics to get rid of it and I had that crap for 2 months. April.. I had a nasty neighbor call the cops on me because he thought I had did something to get back at him for him being nasty about something towards me earlier. I had car trouble and got it fixed finally.. then May.. like I said.. there went the rest of it. Here it is July..almost August.. I had a sinus infection 2 weeks ago and now my Dad has Alzeimers.. I used to think I was being punished .. maybe I am.. but I am not going to lose hope of things getting better. I know I am going through all of this for a reason. Keep looking up..things have to get better at some point for you,, as they will for me

 

[S_Spartan]

Hey! I'm 42 and back living with my parents after my relationship dissolved in another state!

We should make this the "back living with your parents" thread. Lol.

Anybody else?

I know that society says it is shameful for an adult to move back home but I don't agree.

I will make no excuses and I will give society the middle finger!

Hell, there are so many things that society says are GOOD that I think are shameful.

And I hear you guys about the friend thing. Most of mine have families now and/or have moved away. They don't really have time to even talk.

 

[GraybeardGhost]

I was amazing. I had friends, money, i worked full time, went to University at nite, vacationed wherever i wanted twice a year, and i was kind, caring, and loved. Now I'm in my 40's living back with parents, no job, no friends (even my bestest best friend since our first day of school when we were 4 years old stopped speaking to me with no reason 6 months ago). I hate this situation and everything i try fails. I feel like im being punished for something i don'trremember doing.

That's a feeling I know all too well, that of being under the vengeful thumb of someone or something just beyond the fringes of comprehension. Is it God? Karma? The angry spirits of those I've wronged? Probably none of the above, but rather just a convergence of misfortunes of which I happened to get in the way. Like you, I had friends, meaningful work, romance—the whole deal, or at least most of it. Now I, too, am in my forties, jobless, and alone. It's not much of a life: barren, bleak, no future visible on the horizon, no one here but me and the shadows of my past. Where did it all go? Why was it taken away?

I've done a lot of rotten stuff over the years—there aren't too many moments in my past that I don't regret—but to think I'm being punished for my sins by some unseen spiteful force is absurd. The universe simply doesn't work that way. Still, the feeling persists, sometimes just a whisper in the back of my mind, sometimes a crushing wave of helplessness and despair. I don't know how to make it stop.

I've tried therapy and medication in the past, and I keep meaning to give it another go someday, but the truth is that I've stopped trying. While one part of me rails against the inequity of my fate—the desperate loneliness, the paralyzing fear—another part has embraced it. As much as I hate this cowardly way of life, I don't really want to get better anymore. I have become enmired, perhaps for keeps, and have lost the will to struggle, and that is a terrible thing.

Welcome to the forum, LoVe13. There are a lot of good people here—smart people, too—and I believe you'll find much in the way of helpful advice. You may even find your ticket back to the world and the way life is meant to be lived. I certainly hope you do.

 

[LoVe13]

Wow. There really are other people in their 40's back with parents! Maybe we all need to rally together, throw a specific finger in the air to all those friends we had that shattered our hearts all over hell and consider ourselves trend setters. It won't be easy but I think if we share the humor in it with each other maybe it will be ok. Even being ok for a few seconds is better than never ok. I think The Powers That Be put me here tonight for a reason. Maybe I need to stop looking at the huge messed up disaster of my life. Stop missing what I had (some people never have friends or memories that I have. I was cherished and loved unconditionally). And I'm sure I will be again- it wont be exactly the same but hopefully just as happy feeling. Audrey Hepburn once said "Love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and NEVER regret anything that made you smile". (And the Famines said "come on pick up the pieces, start from scratch...".) Knowing I found a place I can finally tell what happened and admit I'm ashamed to be living at home again has already perked me up. All of you have extended a kindness I never imagined possible.