how come ??

[Falkor]

okay so..to strangers I might even seem extravert. (wtf lol) and with co-workers or just close people i get scared because they know my anxious behaviours and my crap. It's my comfort zone, it's very close i guess. All though I am very open about my problems (too much actually, i'm a walkytalky) still it's much easier to talk to strangers and act extravert. within my group of close people they would be extremely suprised how different I act, I once had a phone call with someone to order a pizza, and my parents/family members were like, OMG, you sounded like a friggin' cashier! I was like, ehm, yeah I know, I like the feeling i had, a good mood, "?

Though, when I call others in an afraid ''mood'', I sound like an anxious girl or with people I know.

All though I still have those superior moments that I just act like that, and it feels true to myself.

Though also I hae that scared little mouse in side of me.

Why is this ??? I just can't find an explanation..

I can be different ??

in social situations i always freese up though, i first need to get used and i am so quiet and i constantly am aware of my facialnal express and i get scared by thoughts that they don't like me... so i avoid, or feel awful during the time or i feel more opened up (extravert) when ppl like me

I know that's not social phobicish.. not at all.. the extravert part... i only have it very few times.... though, but the fear parts, at school, i hide everywehre just to not let people show my emotions and i am afraid of standing in a group because i feel odd about my insecurities.

uhm, yeah, i cant explain.

maybe i should just find that stop button :???: i think too much.

Well, ya know. I'm going to take a nap LOLZ.

good nighttttt <333333

 

[CZi]

I can definitely relate, so I'll try explaining my personal understanding of myself, and maybe you can relate to it as well. The way I see it, I feel those superficial interactions (with say strangers) are a lot easier to act within because I'm not as vulnerable or "open" as compared to interacting with family members or peers. This is how I can explain being able to work, as I can somehow compartmentalize the social interactions as part of the job, and while at work I don't really have to open up my true feelings and vulnerability as I would in a purely social situation. For me it's the fear of judgement and lack of confidence in who I am as a social entity that evokes such anxiety when around peers or those within the my personal (or possible) sphere. With work I'm confident in being able to do my job, and do it well, so there's less anxiety on being judge by how I look and other self-conscious stuff. Same thing goes with cashiers, and other people I'll rarely see again. It's almost as if the lack of pressure to open up, actually allows me to do just that. However, in a strictly social situation where the pressure to open up or show your true self is much stronger, I tend to clam up instead.

I don't know WHY I am able to do this or why it happens, but it just does. It makes working with people younger or older quite easy, but a peer in my general age or social cirlce, bricks will be shat. I blame a lot of it on bullying and low self-esteem in my own case. Be quiet, attract little attention, maybe I won't get picked on is still probably ingrained in my psyche lol.

 

[laure15]

I think when you use the phone to talk to somebody, you don't need to worry about body language, eye contact, and all those other scary stuff so it's easier to talk to them. People can only hear your voice but they cannot see your facial expressions or anything else, so you don't feel as judged. But if you are physically present with people in social situations, it's harder to interact with them because people can see you, hear you, feel you, etc. It's just scarier to be in a room full of people than to be on the phone talking to somebody.

 

[theslowesthand]

Maybe i can think of two reasons for this ON/OFF switch to flick??

• Maybe the extravert you is sby you wished you were many of the time, but usually the fears/insecurities do supress all of that, but when do have opportunity, one "explode" in extrovertism (as like a dam burtss)

• Maybe having these 2 personas is simply like having some vastly diferent/oppoiste moods. Most people trigger you into a "mouse" mood, but a few people/situation allow to trigger-of the "MIGHTY MOUSE" mood!!!

 

[Falkor]

I can definitely relate, so I'll try explaining my personal understanding of myself, and maybe you can relate to it as well. The way I see it, I feel those superficial interactions (with say strangers) are a lot easier to act within because I'm not as vulnerable or "open" as compared to interacting with family members or peers. This is how I can explain being able to work, as I can somehow compartmentalize the social interactions as part of the job, and while at work I don't really have to open up my true feelings and vulnerability as I would in a purely social situation. For me it's the fear of judgement and lack of confidence in who I am as a social entity that evokes such anxiety when around peers or those within the my personal (or possible) sphere. With work I'm confident in being able to do my job, and do it well, so there's less anxiety on being judge by how I look and other self-conscious stuff. Same thing goes with cashiers, and other people I'll rarely see again. It's almost as if the lack of pressure to open up, actually allows me to do just that. However, in a strictly social situation where the pressure to open up or show your true self is much stronger, I tend to clam up instead.

I don't know WHY I am able to do this or why it happens, but it just does. It makes working with people younger or older quite easy, but a peer in my general age or social cirlce, bricks will be shat. I blame a lot of it on bullying and low self-esteem in my own case. Be quiet, attract little attention, maybe I won't get picked on is still probably ingrained in my psyche lol.

Interesting, Thanks for explaining. Talking to strangers seems more easily then people know my vulnerabilities maybe indeed. Even though they are the ones that could understand best.... Weird !!!! hahahaha

You are a very wise guy ^_^ thanks for the reply.

It's true indeed, that must be why cashiers always say Hi friendly, while maybe when they don't work they are having their naggy mood hehehe, just kidding. XD

Well, I really think it's true, also when you are longer with people in a job, they don't know you so at the beginning its easy and the longer you stay, the longer they get to break your comfort zone and they will see some SA traints and you don't want them to see it, but it's good that some people are not judgemntal so you CAN get closer to the comfort zone opens that you don't feel judged, but with some people... argh, i get like a robot , its weird !!hehe

thanks again