Today might be my last day at work. My schedule isn't updated and I'm just wait til the evening. I'll go into to work and I'll be waiting for them to say it. Until then, I'm not sure if I'll go back home. The fact that it's winter time and I have no money, I don't know what to do. Running away sounds best but in my luck is the worst decision.
I have spent major o part of my battling OCD and Depression. Now, as I feel I am getting way too older, I need a major life change. I made some friends online, but the thing with online friendship is that they don't feel real like having someone besides you and telling you things and supporting you. So, sometimes I feel I am just deluding myself, if they will soon go away, they will soon be fed up with me. Making friends is always difficult for me. The few I have , are also moving to other places. And I know it will be difficult for me to spend life without friends. What I need right now, is to step out of my comfort zone, take chances.
But the thing is I don't know what exactly do to. Its easy to say all goody things and inspirational stuff but to take concrete steps is difficult because I have no idea what those steps are.
*This makes me feel, I am so repetitive and prone to ramble.
Okay life are you SERIOUS right now... As if impacted wisdom teeth pushing through my gums and throbbing constantly isn't enough pain to deal with, my knee cap completely dislocates itself for like 30 seconds. I don't even know what pain is worse than dislocating something, but holy freaking mother of god that hurts. I went back in on it's own, but still OW!!!!!!I'll probably be limping for days and it'll hurt for at least a week or two. One pain is enough, this is all too much right now on top of everything else 🙁.
Like ah should probably jist gie up... Religate masel' tae being that person naebuddy really notices, likes or cares aboot.
Ah don't know, ah jist feel stuck. Wantin' 'hings tae change, wantin' ma freedom. Wantin' tae git as far away fae ma family an' Scotland, fur that matter. Wantin', mair than anythin', tae be truly, geniunely happy fur once. :sad:
You can do those things Graeme. Because there is no alternative, you have to do those things that you think will make you happy.
Right now, quite lonely. It is because I miss talking to someone right now. Pretty depressive news on media. And its a bleak day today. So, rather than hoping for some chat, I better settle down on reading a book.
I wonder sometimes why we have to feel anything? Is it natural or is it because we are told how to feel about certain situations? Why is just existing never enough?
The earth just exists, the moon just exists, human beings are just filling time anyway. So why does A always have to connect with B and B always have to connect with C?
You can do those things Graeme. Because there is no alternative, you have to do those things that you think will make you happy.
Ah know, ah know. It's jist difficult no' tae feel guilty when ah pit masel' first, y'know? Ah feel this constant pressure tae be funny, which has made talkin' ma struggle wi' depression an' anxiety wi' ma family really awkward because they refused tae believe that ah geniunely feel tha way ah do, sometimes.
Ah've always got tae be "on" - smilin', laughin' an' jokin'. Y'know, happy an' that. Never serious, assertive or sad. Mind you, ah feel equally as guilty aboot bein' assertive coz it jist comes across as c*nty.
Right now, quite lonely. It is because I miss talking to someone right now. Pretty depressive news on media. And its a bleak day today. So, rather than hoping for some chat, I better settle down on reading a book.
Sorry yer feelin' lonely, spring. Hopefully that feelin' will pass, eventually. Anyway, feel better soon. In tha meantime, enjoy yer book. :thumbup:
I wonder sometimes why we have to feel anything? Is it natural or is it because we are told how to feel about certain situations? Why is just existing never enough?
The earth just exists, the moon just exists, human beings are just filling time anyway. So why does A always have to connect with B and B always have to connect with C?
^ Yes! I think like this all the time!
Whenever I see a wild animal I am overcome by pangs of envy.
They are ALLOWED to just exist. Humans are supposed to have the most intelligent intellect out of every creature on this planet, yet we are forced to live within such a complex and enforced set of rules over our daily lives. :oh: :sad:
^ Yes! I think like this all the time!
Whenever I see a wild animal I am overcome by pangs of envy.
They are ALLOWED to just exist. Humans are supposed to have the most intelligent intellect out of every creature on this planet, yet we are forced to live within such a complex and enforced set of rules over our daily lives. :oh: :sad:
It really made my day that someone else has these same thoughts. Thanks Blue!
^ Yes! I think like this all the time!
Whenever I see a wild animal I am overcome by pangs of envy.
They are ALLOWED to just exist. Humans are supposed to have the most intelligent intellect out of every creature on this planet, yet we are forced to live within such a complex and enforced set of rules over our daily lives. :oh: :sad:
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