Man on the Moon
Active member
I woke up feeling depressed. I really don't know where my life is heading. It feels very stagnant at the moment. I am very unsatisfied with my job, my living condition, and my social life. I wish I could take action. I think it's the fear that is hindering my progress. The fear of what to do next. Maybe I'm not ready for the next step? I'm not sure.
I graduated from UC Davis with a Film Studies degree last December. And ever since my sophomore year, I dreamed of moving to New York. Now that I'm here I don't know what to make of it. I am proud of myself for making this huge step and actually making my goal a reality...
I've been living in New York for six months now. Ticking at seven come August. Yesterday my dad suggested that I move back to California. I considered it, but I feel like if I do cop out, then my time here would have been a waste - which includes the time I spent thinking about moving here. Besides, because I've been thinking about moving here for so long, I want to stick with it.
Currently, I am at a dead end job. There is no future for me at this company. I have been working here for four months and it has become apparent to me that I will never become a full time employee. I feel like they are content with only having me as a temp, which frustrates me because I feel used. As a temp, I don't receive any benefits and I am paid ridiculously lower than what I can be making. I want to quit, but I don't have the balls yet to do so. Usually when I don't like my situation, I am motivated to change, but my present circumstance here? I don't know, maybe something is telling me to be patient. I have always hated feeling hopeful.
I can't really complain about my living situation. I get free room and my uncle and his family really takes care of me. He said to me that he won't let me move out until I find a full time job. At least I know they care. My only grumble is that the commute to my work is an hour and a half. Back and forth that is three hours...every day. That is ****ing draining me.
I wish I had the time to be social. I wish I could meet new people. But given my long hours at work and my commuting, I am too exhausted to do anything at the end of the day. I don't know why girls are so hard to come by. Meeting girls in college was so easy. Now I don't even know where to start. I'm in a big city - I don't hardly know anybody and I'm feeling very lonely. You can only do so much to mask the loneliness. Eventually though, it will catch up to you and all you can do is hope for the best (there's that hope again...damn).
I graduated from UC Davis with a Film Studies degree last December. And ever since my sophomore year, I dreamed of moving to New York. Now that I'm here I don't know what to make of it. I am proud of myself for making this huge step and actually making my goal a reality...
I've been living in New York for six months now. Ticking at seven come August. Yesterday my dad suggested that I move back to California. I considered it, but I feel like if I do cop out, then my time here would have been a waste - which includes the time I spent thinking about moving here. Besides, because I've been thinking about moving here for so long, I want to stick with it.
Currently, I am at a dead end job. There is no future for me at this company. I have been working here for four months and it has become apparent to me that I will never become a full time employee. I feel like they are content with only having me as a temp, which frustrates me because I feel used. As a temp, I don't receive any benefits and I am paid ridiculously lower than what I can be making. I want to quit, but I don't have the balls yet to do so. Usually when I don't like my situation, I am motivated to change, but my present circumstance here? I don't know, maybe something is telling me to be patient. I have always hated feeling hopeful.
I can't really complain about my living situation. I get free room and my uncle and his family really takes care of me. He said to me that he won't let me move out until I find a full time job. At least I know they care. My only grumble is that the commute to my work is an hour and a half. Back and forth that is three hours...every day. That is ****ing draining me.
I wish I had the time to be social. I wish I could meet new people. But given my long hours at work and my commuting, I am too exhausted to do anything at the end of the day. I don't know why girls are so hard to come by. Meeting girls in college was so easy. Now I don't even know where to start. I'm in a big city - I don't hardly know anybody and I'm feeling very lonely. You can only do so much to mask the loneliness. Eventually though, it will catch up to you and all you can do is hope for the best (there's that hope again...damn).
Last edited:
