Hit a wall

deadend

deadend

Well-known member
And I saw it coming years ago.

My intro: http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/hello-there-33715/

I'm at a point in my life where I'm supposed to be on my way up the social and financial ladder, but instead I'm going nowhere fast. I'm pretty much broke and resigned to a life of avoidance.

After much reflection, I have come to the conclusion that the only way for me to function at a manageable level is to keep my life simple. This means that my "career" should be relatively mindless and stress-free, that my debts are kept to a minimum, and that my social circle remains small (as it has always been).

Unfortunately for me, I went to college and racked up about 28k in debt. I also have a vehicle that costs me nearly $400 a month, including insurance. I work part-time for low wages so that takes up nearly half of my pay check each month alone. Add in rent, gas, and all the other miscellaneous necessities and I'm losing money. No money + no support + social phobia + depression = perfect storm.

I'm contemplating making a visit to the county clinic to see what kind of help I can get. I can't afford $200 a session for counseling and I have no health insurance so they would have to provide it for me (hate the idea). I've also thought about applying for SSI/SSD but from what I understand, it's a long and arduous process - chances are I'd be denied and would need a disability attorney to appeal.

In any case, I feel like **** and want to escape my life. I guess I'm here seeking some form of support but I know it's ultimately up to me.

Any thoughts or suggestions at least?
 
kihira

kihira

1
You seem to be thinking clearly and have a good idea of where you're at, PL advice is good - look to simplify - I also think this recent post of mine may apply - "Society attempts to push its mainstream values upon us - if you're not happy with these, discover your own values and find out where in society these fit in. They will somewhere. " - in that you say "I'm supposed to be on my way up the social and financial ladder", I suggest you discover the ladder that suits you best.

:)
 
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deadend

deadend

Well-known member
Thanks for the response phocas.

I suggest you discover the ladder that suits you best.
Click to expand...

In my case it's a stepping stool. I don't feel the need to reach too high, nor do I believe it is possible to do so given my issues.

I was about to post my own response to another individual, but I guess they deleted their post. He/she suggested financial counseling.

Here's what I was writing:

My financial situation would be bearable if I had a better paying job. But that's the trick, right? The more you are paid, generally speaking, the more responsibility and stress one is expected to handle (save a lucky few). To say social phobia is limiting is redundant given that this is a forum for social phobia. Add in the fact that I have no motivation (see depression) and looking for work seems like a big waste of time. The job market isn't kind to inexperienced folks with useless degrees, in any case.

I'm afraid the bank isn't going to be much help to me. They'll just wonder why I don't have a better paying job.

I'm fine with making sacrifices. I don't spend frivolously and I've got good credit. I hope I didn't make it sound like I'm a big spender. The car is the biggest bill I've got each month. The place I'm staying at is dirt cheap for the area and split 3 ways. I don't spend too much on food because I eat at work for free. The problem is income.

But the real problem, is of course, mental illness.
 
Pacific_Loner

Pacific_Loner

Pirate from the North Pole
Hah, sorry I deleted my post Deadend, I do this a lot. Anyway I see that you and Phocas read it, and I've read your answer to my deleted post, and I was going to answer it but it didn't work because... you deleted it when I was trying to quote it ::p:. I guess it would have been pretty hilarious if I would have succeeded and posted something about 2 deleted posts. Nevermind, everything is a mess today anyway :rolleyes:
 
coyote

coyote

Well-known member
I'm in the same boat

After two divorces, a bankruptcy, a decent career cast away, years of accumulated debt, and decades of avoidance - i don't see my financial situation ever getting to the point where I can stop living paycheck to paycheck, let alone retire.

On the brighter side - this has also made me rethink my values a bit and reassess what I truly need in the form of material possessions, wealth, etc.

The truth is, I'm happier with less. The less stuff you have, and the less stuff you need, the less you have to worry about.

The most important part of your situation you need to change is the part where you said..."where I'm supposed to be." If you can change your thinking about that, the rest becomes much easier.
 
deadend

deadend

Well-known member
Pacific_Loner said:
Hah, sorry I deleted my post Deadend, I do this a lot. Anyway I see that you and Phocas read it, and I've read your answer to my deleted post, and I was going to answer it but it didn't work because... you deleted it when I was trying to quote it ::p:. I guess it would have been pretty hilarious if I would have succeeded and posted something about 2 deleted posts. Nevermind, everything is a mess today anyway :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Ah I see. No problem :cool:

Coyote,

Sorry to hear about your situation. I have come to the same realization (and I don't own much to begin with). Less stuff, less worry.

As far as "where I'm supposed to be", that's relative to what is considered "normal" to most folks at this point in life. Family, friends, coworkers, and even partners may not understand or agree and think you're sabotaging yourself. I'm speaking generally here, of course.

Have you ever tried applying for disability? I'm trying to get a feel for whether or not it's worth my time to even try.
 
coyote

coyote

Well-known member
deadend said:
Ah yes I can see where that might be a problem.

May I ask what you do for a living?
Click to expand...

i am currently in retail management

spending is pretty much under control at this point - like I said, I've been working on letting go of the need for stuff

but then there's that mountain of debt out there that haunts me...
 
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